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Jun 19, 2013, 1:54pm

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Any Port in a Storm :: Around Town :: Waterfront Park :: The importance of being nice
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AuthorTopic: The importance of being nice (Read 188 times)
kerouac2
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The importance of being nice
« Thread Started on Mar 22, 2009, 4:11pm »		[Quote]
A lot of people seem to think that being nice is a sign of weakness and that the only way to survive is to be cynical and even cruel for reasons of self protection.

Being nice comes naturally to some people but not to everybody, so here are a few points that can be taken into consideration if you have any doubts about the importance of being nice.

1. "Me first" does not make you happy. The time for looking down on losers or glorifying your personal performance has passed. The world is in crisis at the moment and it has been proven that the persons with a killer attitude have taken the hardest fall. Hyper-egocentricty made people think that they didn't need anybody else. They were wrong.

The world is beginning to change again and a lot of people are hoping for a quality of life more respectful of the environment and of human relations. Humanity is a big part of sustainable development, and being nice will give you a strong foundation in this department.

2. Being nice changes the world around you. Maybe you can't prevent wars or stop the major injustice in society, but you can certainly influence the world right around you.

Paying attention to others, respecting your neighbors and colleagues and accepting the differences around you is much better than automatic rejection, and it is contagious. Just imagine for one moment how different the world would be if people stopped insulting each other about completely minor things.

3. It is sometimes a matter of survival. Health care, soup kitchens, tutoring and volunteer work are examples of institutionalized forms of solidarity, but they would not exist if people had not understood within themselves that solidarity improves the world and reduces the danger in it. Being nice and helping the people around you in small ways improves their lives and increases your personal security.

4. Being nice is the only way to create real personal ties. You don't make friends by being nasty. Sometimes just a smile is enough to make the other person want to listen to your sentence all the way to the end. That's one of the reasons that the news readers on television are taught to smile so much, because people prefer to listen to a smiling person rather than one with an unpleasant expression. It is just as important to listen to others and to really take into consideration what they are saying. Communication and mutual understanding are the foundations of friendship, so anything you can do ease the process is to your benefit.

Making nasty remarks for the fun (?) of it might create a circle of "snicker buddies" around you, but would you ever want to need to count on any of these people if you were in trouble?

5. Being nice pays off. Without going into mercantile calculations about what being nice will get you, it is well known that it is a win-win situation. When people in society do not feel rivalry, they stop competing and start cooperating. Everybody benefits. Professional managers learned long ago that praising employees for their efforts gets much better results than criticizing them. And hey, this works with children, too.

6. It is the opposite of weakness. Finding the gentlest words when something negative must be said or remaining calm in the face of aggression takes a certain amount of strength. There is always a way to put criticism into an acceptable formulation rather than wounding the other person unnecessarily.

7. It is also important to be nice to yourself. If you set unrealistic or impossible objectives, you are not doing yourself any good. You can be gentle with yourself without being hypocritical. You will live longer and lead a happier life if you are not living in constant personal disappointment or stress.
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bixaorellana
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Re: The importance of being nice
« Reply #1 on Mar 22, 2009, 4:24pm »		[Quote]
I hope I don't sound flippant when I say reading that was an extremely nice way to start the day.

There are little wake-up calls throughout -- reminders that the higher ground is brighter and lets you see further than the negative low road.

Thanks!
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casimira
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Re: The importance of being nice
« Reply #2 on Mar 22, 2009, 5:07pm »		[Quote]
It is good to be reminded.
I have noticed a huge difference overall in how we (Americans) treat our elderly. I was so embarassed at how neglected and disrespected the elderly in this country were. I worked in a geriatric clinical milieu for a time and the majority of my garden clients have always been elderly,so I have had some first hand experience of this. I also have an elderly parent.
Perhaps it is because my generation of "baby boomers" are now the adult children and we have wisened up. Whatever the reason,it is heartening to see more random acts of kindness being perpetuated on the elderly. Goodness knows they deserve it.
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spindrift
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Re: The importance of being nice
« Reply #3 on Mar 22, 2009, 10:49pm »		[Quote]
Being nice does rub off onto some people. How uplifting it is when a stranger smiles at me in the street or supermarket...or holds the door open for me... I hope that being nice is second nature to me.
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tempus fugit
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Re: The importance of being nice
« Reply #4 on Mar 24, 2009, 2:11pm »		[Quote]
It is lovely being nice to strangers. I love it when I randomly help someone - stop and offer directions to a lost looking tourist or help a Mum with her buggy - its so good to see the look of surprise on their face. Although it would be a happier world if it wasn't so shocking when people help :-/

Smiling at people and people smiling back is just great, the more you smile the more you get and the more you get the more you smile :D (all quite selfish really!!!)
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Re: The importance of being nice
« Reply #5 on Mar 24, 2009, 2:14pm »		[Quote]

Quote:
6. It is the opposite of weakness. Finding the gentlest words when something negative must be said or remaining calm in the face of aggression takes a certain amount of strength. There is always a way to put criticism into an acceptable formulation rather than wounding the other person unnecessarily.


This one is close to home. My boss tells I am "weak" because I am nice. He thinks his nastiness makes him strong. I know the truth!
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rikita
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Re: The importance of being nice
« Reply #6 on Mar 24, 2009, 3:03pm »		[Quote]
well i try to be nice too... dunno how succesful i am, i guess it depends. though yeah, there are also times when i think i should be less nice - i have noticed i have certain difficulties saying no to people, and thus agree to things i don#t really want to do (like, i agreed to babysit for this family i know from the day care - even though i have no time for it really, have enough work from my regular job anyway, and the daughter of that family can be quite a bit of work)...
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hwinpp
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Re: The importance of being nice
« Reply #7 on Mar 25, 2009, 2:34am »		[Quote]
If I have to say 'NO' I'm very nice about it. :D
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Aussielover
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Re: The importance of being nice
« Reply #8 on Mar 25, 2009, 3:36am »		[Quote]
You know - I'm glad that people are seeing the value in being nice. It doesn't always mean that you have to be a doormat.

I read on the ABC news (US) website recently, that workers who are perceived as nice are being retained during company layoffs and the type As who don't get along well with their peers are getting the sack.
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tillystar
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Re: The importance of being nice
« Reply #9 on Mar 25, 2009, 8:54am »		[Quote]
Yes, I definately have learnt to say "NO" the last few yars but in a very nice way!
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Re: The importance of being nice
« Reply #10 on Mar 25, 2009, 9:12am »		[Quote]
Fuck that shit.
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When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.
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Re: The importance of being nice
« Reply #11 on Mar 25, 2009, 10:19am »		[Quote]
Hey, that's what I say too. But I smile while saying it.
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gyro
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Re: The importance of being nice
« Reply #12 on Mar 25, 2009, 11:21am »		[Quote]
Ah, well you've got one over me ....
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When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.
Aussielover
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Re: The importance of being nice
« Reply #13 on Mar 27, 2009, 3:33am »		[Quote]
hwinpp - exactly!
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