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May 23, 2013, 10:05am

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Message:	[quote author=doncuevas board=anecdotes thread=548 post=9306 time=1236882786][quote author=spindrift board=anecdotes thread=548 post=9277 time=1236873585]Don - please translate your signature for me. [/quote] Loosely, "When you are good and hungry, there's no such thing as hard bread."[/quote] Expand
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Topic Summary

Posted by kerouac2 on Mar 3, 2009, 10:44pm

Here are the first two abominations.

[image]

Sandwich Cake
A layer of deviled ham, chicken salad and olive-nut spread between a whole loaf white bread surrounded by four packages of strawberry cream cheese. (I think the radish slices are a nice touch, myself.)

[image]

Bacon And Fudge Danish Breakfast Sandwich

Posted by bixaorellana on Mar 3, 2009, 11:03pm

What the eff is strawberry cream cheese??! :-X

The "breakfast sandwich" seems to have extra sugar sprinkled on. They were so clever -- the top danish is upside down so that the flatter part can hold more sugar!

I see this thread as another opportunity to foist one of my favorite things on an unsuspecting Any Port public, the wonderful Gallery of Regrettable Foods.

Posted by kerouac2 on Mar 4, 2009, 5:53am

Candy pizza
Pizza covered in caramel and chocolate sauce, topped with miniature marshmallows, gum drops, M&M’s, coconut flakes, candy hearts and a candy fried egg plus chopped pecans.

[image]

For those with a cholesterol deficiency.

Posted by bazfaz on Mar 4, 2009, 8:25am

And just when I was begining to feel better...

Posted by Don Cuevas on Mar 4, 2009, 5:19pm

Wait a minute! The Danish actually looks quite good. How do you know it's an abomination if you haven't tasted one?

Here in Pátzcuaro, Mexico, one of the more upscale "International Cuisine" restaurants has, among other elaborate dishes, Salmon Fillet in Gorgonzola Sauce. Somehow, I just don't see it.

There's something abominable about cooking which oversauces and covers up natural flavors. That particular combination makes me want to heave just thinking about it.

Posted by kerouac2 on Mar 4, 2009, 6:05pm

I haven't tasted those other horrors either! Trust the Mexicans to defend mixing chocolate with bacon!

Posted by bixaorellana on Mar 4, 2009, 7:08pm

But who wouldn't be tempted by this darling log cabin:

[image]

Posted by gringalais on Mar 4, 2009, 8:35pm

Ewww, that first one looks horrible where is the vomit icon when you need it?

Posted by kerouac2 on Mar 4, 2009, 8:42pm

Actually, if you show the first one to someone in France and inform them that it is a savory rather than a sweet item, they will assume that the pink stuff is tarama, cod roe cream, and they might not even be repulsed if you add a few cherry tomatoes and some parsley.

Posted by kerouac2 on Mar 5, 2009, 8:25am

Egg n’ Ham Sammich
A regular ham and cheese sandwich but topped with 11 sunny-side up egg yolks.

[image]

The Sandwich of Knowledge
The bottom tier contains eight strips of bacon, six sausages and four burger patties; followed by a second tier of black pudding; topped by a third tier comprised of two diced chicken breasts and six fried eggs.

Posted by Don Cuevas on Mar 5, 2009, 10:13am

The Sandwich of Knowledge
Looks like The Temple of Doom.

Posted by tillystar on Mar 5, 2009, 3:11pm

There are some sick individuals in this world.

Posted by kerouac2 on Mar 6, 2009, 10:13am

The Meat Ship
Made from bacon, sausages, pastry, franks and pork mince.

Posted by happytraveller on Mar 6, 2009, 11:45am

EEEEK ! That looks discusting !

Posted by mockchoc on Mar 7, 2009, 2:40am

This is hillarious but I really don't think you can fit that many eggs on a sandwich unless they are quail eggs or similar.

Otherwise that bread is very big.

Posted by kerouac2 on Mar 7, 2009, 6:11am

The Pizza Cone

[image]

Blueberry Waffle Breakfast Sandwich
Breakfast sandwich with two eggs, two sausages, ham, string cheese and bacon between two blueberry waffles glazed with maple syrup.

Posted by bixaorellana on Mar 9, 2009, 2:35am

Too sorry, no pictures, but this emphatically belongs in this thread. I have a gmail address I seldom use. I was checking it when I noticed that a bar across the top of the mail listings said "Spam Vegetable Strudel - Bake 20 minutes or until golden, serve with soy sauce" :-X

. Off to the side, it helpfully added "Spam Recipe". Why gmail chooses to share this with its users I know not, but without further ado, I here present it to you all:

* Exported from MasterCook *

SPAM VEGETABLE STRUDEL

Recipe By :
Serving Size : 6 Preparation Time :0:00
Categories : Main dish

Amount Measure Ingredient -- Preparation Method
-------- ------------ --------------------------------
1 pk Long-grain and wild rice
-mix (6.25 oz)
1/2 c Chopped carrot
1/2 c Chopped red bell pepper
1/4 c Orange juice
1 cn SPAM Luncheon Meat, cut in
-thin strips (12 oz)
2 c Chopped mushrooms
1/4 c Sliced green onions
1 tb Dijon-style mustard
1/2 ts Basil
1/4 ts Pepper
6 Sheets frozen phyllo pastry,
-thawed
Butter-flavor vegetable
-cooking spray
1 tb Dry bread crumbs
Soy sauce

Heat oven to 375'F. Prepare rice according to package directions. In
small saucepan, combine carrots, red pepper, and orange juice. Bring
to a boil. Cover and cook 5-7 minutes or until crisp-tender. Drain
well. Place in medium bowl. In large skillet, saute SPAM, mushrooms,
and green onion until tender. Add SPAM mixture, rice, mustard, basil,
and pepper to vegetable mixture; stir well. Place 1 sheet phyllo
pastry on a damp towel (keep remaining phyllo covered). Lightly coat
phyllo with cooking spray. Layer remaining 5 sheets phyllo pastry on
first sheet, lightly coating each sheet with cooking spray. Spoon
SPAM mixture lengthwise down center of phyllo stack, leaving a 1/2″
border. Roll phyllo jelly-roll style, starting with long side
containing SPAM mixture. Tuck ends under; place diagonally, seam side
down, on baking sheet coated with cooking spray. Lightly coat top of
pastry with cooking spray and sprinkle with bread crumbs. Make 12
(1/4″ deep) diagonal slits across top of pastry using a sharp knife.
Bake 20 minutes or until golden. Serve with soy sauce.

Posted by kerouac2 on Mar 9, 2009, 8:16am

The Gastronomic Surprise Maxi Rainbow 24 Scoop Ice Cream Sundae

Posted by spindrift on Mar 9, 2009, 8:50am

I don't intend to be offensive - but are these items for sale in America? they're certainly not in the UK.

Posted by bixaorellana on Mar 9, 2009, 8:55am

I am sure the rainbow sundae must come from an iced cream emporium. I think everything else in the pictures was lovingly built at home.

I've never seen canned pork brains anywhere, although that doesn't mean they don't exist. Pigs feet and heads are sold even in supermarkets here, although I've never seen their brains for sale.

I suspect Spam is sold in the UK -- it's terrifyingly global.

Posted by kerouac2 on Mar 10, 2009, 11:07pm

Meat Cake
Meatloaf with potatoes and ketchup for icing.

Posted by kerouac2 on Mar 12, 2009, 6:00am

The Porkgasm
Bacon strips, bacon sausage, ham sausage, ham slices, smoked pork sausage and roasted pork belly surrounded by ground sausage shaped into a pig, wrapped in bacon and roasted. Garnished with chili ears and tail.

Posted by bixaorellana on Mar 12, 2009, 6:23am

You are forcing me to post this. It's not an abomination, though ~~ it's art!

[image]