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Post by bixaorellana on Mar 5, 2017 1:33:04 GMT
I second Casimira's kind and wise suggestion and would also like to propose that someone start a thread on frugality/necessary splurges/small and large economies/financial frustrations -- or however the thread maker would like to arrange it. I have had to hold on to that dollar till the eagle grin, as the song has it, at various times in my life and well know how at times it's quite bearable and even fun and at other times just grinding.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 5, 2017 1:55:34 GMT
I second Kimbys post as she has in her own particular way( albeit sometimes unnerving ) doesn't allow herself to go overboard and personally I hold much regard and respect for her steerage so to speak on here. Moving along...it means a lot.
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Post by lagatta on Mar 5, 2017 2:21:06 GMT
Well, I certainly agree. But please, no poverty shaming. Since I'm obviously "eddicated" some people who don't know me well are shocked by the trials of many schooled but precarious workers. In general, I'm not complaining about my life as I've been able to travel a lot and meet wonderful people, and I have the most darling wee beastie on earth right now. We need to keep this as a congenial place and I appreciate everyone who posts here.
And thanks, Kimby! Here, Canadian Tire also carries that. But I have a tiny cat with VERY sharp claws. Something foam would probably be a better choice!
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Post by mich64 on Mar 5, 2017 2:25:35 GMT
This place has been an incredible refuge for me. I feel friendship, encouragement and compassion. I learn but also feel I contribute.
There are many times when I am confused with posts and am often wondering if members are upset with one another or not, but usually feel they are offering differences in opinions as they provide a basis for their disagreements. There are many posts that are beyond my understanding, but that I accept, it does not stop me from moving on to the next one.
I do read other boards and have no confidence in participating as I know I do not possess wit or an average level of humor.
I am not adverse to people challenging one another and agree that we all have our reasons and life experiences for our own opinions and we should be prepared to contend with an opposite point of view without it being an attack personally.
In conversation with friends, I frequently use information gained from APIAS. I speak of you all with pride and admiration as you all have unique personalities and life experiences.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 5, 2017 2:29:23 GMT
That is precious Rikita. This past Tuesday, Valentines Day, I was sitting with my friend whom I meet most mornings for coffee and then we take our dogs together for a walk. There is a man who lives in a residential group home in our immediate neighborhood and he strolls about pretty much all day and to some, he appears to be menacing but he is not. People just are wary because he has a very rigid gait, walks very slowly and at times looks zombie-like. Over the past couple of years I have come to know him better and he does indeed have some psychological problems, at times out and out delusional. Occasionally he will ask me for a couple of dollars and I have obliged him. He always remembers and makes a point of paying me back. Anyway, on Tuesday he wandered over to our outdoor table and handed me a postcard size photograph of Elvis Presley that had the words "Love Me Tender" on it. He said, this is for you, and let me know that he had asked my husband if it was okay to give it to me but he wanted for it to be a surprise. It didn't feel creepy at all nor were there any romantic insinuations. It was more of an acknowledgement that we had a connection of sorts and this was his way of conveying it. It was very heartwarming and thoughtful. I had occasion this evening while out for a stroll to spend a fair amount of time with this gentleman sitting on a bench. Now, I have to preface what I am about to post with some acknowledgement of my many years working in the field of clinical psychiatry and (without pretense) having some acumen as to my interaction with him. It is very much gauged on assessing the wavelength of sorts that he is on in order to engage with him. We already have an alliance of sorts. Eye contact is critical in order to attain trust (and this is on dual levels). And so, and I think I may need to continue with this whole exchange, I have established a meaningful, albeit at times "out there" engagement with him. Statements such as "I killed the antichrist" in and of itself give way to someone who is very disturbed and therefore avoided. No one, as I came to learn from him have really heard him out and looking at me eye to eye acknowledged that he was paranoid BUT, and here's where I knew the system was failing him, he was/is but resistant to being forced to take HALDOL, an anti-psychotic medication that has dramatic side effects. TBC...its so disconcerting.
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Post by lagatta on Mar 5, 2017 2:39:15 GMT
Yes, that is terribly disturbing, though your experience is so rich.
A problem on fora like ours is that there is no eye or voice contact, and of course we aren't sitting around drinking coffee, tea or other things and chatting.
But I also have friends who are almost blind, and others who are almost deaf, who struggle now to get those clues.
It is horrible when the medication is even worse than the disease.
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Post by bixaorellana on Mar 5, 2017 4:21:17 GMT
Hello pretty Livvy! (pee ess ~ Tell Mommy to try putting some silicone on the boots. It might work to seal the leak.)Lizzy, I'd hate to see you flounce in the internet forum sense, but it would be a treat to see you in a high dudgeon role onstage! Kimby, your comment, "As a group of current, former and aspiring travelers, we have something in common." pretty much sums up what keeps this place going. Thanks! LaGatta, re: the jerky young man ~ yet another instance of some boob being trusted with a little responsibility. Years ago after buying some furniture with a credit card, we got a phone call at 6 a.m. the next morning. Some bimbo lit into me about fiscal responsibility, paying debts, etc. After turning her into a sputtering cinder, I called the credit card company. It turned out that she'd been told to make a routine call (presumably at a reasonable hour) just to double-check that we, the credit card holders, had in fact made that larger than normal purchase. Dear Mich, I think you are not giving yourself enough credit. You definitely have wit and humor, which come through in your comments and responses here. Do be aware that not everyone "gets" everything all the time -- I certainly don't. That is good advice about not taking things personally, which I will try to remember. Casimira, is the man's zombie-like aspect because he is already on some medication? At any rate, how lovely that he recognizes your kindness and generously responded. I had an experience today that made me think about you and your neighbor. I was walking with a friend of mine on one of the tourist streets and there was a fairly high incidence of inconsideration being shown by others passing or coming from side streets -- enough so that we were both getting annoyed. I'd stepped off to the side because we were looking to cross the street, when a man came up right behind my friend and walked right into her and kept going without apologizing. She opened her mouth to say something angry, but I was able to stop her in time, having recognized the man as one of my neighbors who is intellectually disabled.
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Post by mich64 on Mar 5, 2017 4:58:09 GMT
Thank you Bixa, when I have people here, I can ask questions and sometimes my responses are completed with a little help. I like to think I have improved over the past few years and it makes me very happy to read that you think so as well. Over the past 10 years, I have very rarely been in public without my husband, a family member or a close friend. In the cases where I have been on my own, I have mostly been met with patience and compassion but on a few occasions I experienced indifference and once even dismissal, waved at to go away. I appreciate reading accounts like you and Casi have described and have felt that kindness and understanding. (To provide an example, today during my phone call dealing with our flight schedule, my friend was asked her and her husband's date of birth, after she replied the clerk said "she robbed the cradle" I became so confused and a bit panicked (thinking literally that she was being accused of something) even though my friend was smiling. Once the call was completed, I had to know why she had used those words.)
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Post by Deleted on Mar 5, 2017 5:25:13 GMT
Mich, I think I inadvertantly posted over or around you with your kind sentiment.
You have been and remain a delight. Caring, informative and a most appreciated member aboard here.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 5, 2017 6:14:34 GMT
Even though I have to pass for a jerk sometimes to get some of you to express yourselves, I am quite glad that this series of posts resulted.
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Post by onlyMark on Mar 5, 2017 9:15:59 GMT
...... and a group hug can be a little thing that means a lot. As in keeping with the thread title.
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Post by Kimby on Mar 5, 2017 13:42:29 GMT
Amen to that, Mark. I feel better already!
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Post by Deleted on Mar 5, 2017 17:10:53 GMT
Even though I have to pass for a jerk sometimes to get some of you to express yourselves, I am quite glad that this series of posts resulted. Oh, that is the bulls***tiest, most emotionally manipulative thing I've read in a while. We don't need your needling and derision to be "espressive". Cut the crap. Apologize when you're wrong. Grow up.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 5, 2017 18:33:03 GMT
This just keeps getting better and better!
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Post by chexbres on Mar 5, 2017 21:00:01 GMT
Don't any of you realize that kerouac is the "Man Behind the Curtain" and enjoys thinking that he can control other people's strings? At least, to the extent that they let him... It's a mental exercise, and nothing more. He's had his fun, so move along, there's nothing more to get excited about.
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Post by breeze on Mar 6, 2017 12:20:57 GMT
Mich, I like so much what you said in #647.
I like to think that on any of the boards I read, that each person's comment is an offering given in a generous spirit, that we're all free to agree or disagree, and nothing is a prescription for anyone else.
I probably missed the cause of all this and I don't even want to know what it was. I find a lot to admire about each of the regular posters and I'll leave it at that.
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Post by lagatta on Mar 6, 2017 15:42:08 GMT
This just keeps getting better and better! Well, at least it isn't workplace bullying... Mich, I caught some of your hesitation when you started writing (knowing people who have had strokes and similar problems) but it is no longer remotely evident now. You've come a long way, and I know that is difficult, a hell of a lot of work and effort. A friend who is at least 20 years older than I am (let's just say that I'm a boomer, but not yet entitled to senior perks or the all-important OAP and income supplement) had a serious stroke and at his age we were very afraid that he would die or come out of it in dire shape. Fortunately he has recovered very well overall. He phones me a lot - almost every morning; he lives in a small town in the Laurentian hills (we call them "mountains" but they aren't really) and is a bit isolated. I put up with it because it is important, but am also very glad that he is still alive and generally well. He has the right to a few obsessions...
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2017 16:12:07 GMT
It may be that he needs to exercise using his speech which may have been impaired by the stroke and in many cases does improve over time. So, tolerating his "obsession" is likely a good thing towards his rehabilitation particularly if he's isolated.
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Post by lagatta on Mar 6, 2017 22:00:23 GMT
Yes, I felt the same thing. His speech and formulating a logical discourse.
He was pretty much shut in his house all winter. There is a meals on wheels service that checks on isolated shut-ins, people with chronic or acute problems or seniors who need help. There are also local health services in his town.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2017 22:05:34 GMT
Nothing quite like good friends though.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2017 6:39:40 GMT
I exchanged keys with a friend recently, to be used in case of emergency. It is something that I have rarely done in my life. When there is no trustworthy family anywhere nearby, it is a dilemma that a lot of people face.
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Post by bixaorellana on Mar 11, 2017 15:17:19 GMT
I found two bottles of wine I didn't know I had!
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Post by Kimby on Mar 11, 2017 15:24:54 GMT
I'll be right over, Bixa! I could use a pick-me-up. So what if it's not even 9 AM!
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Post by bixaorellana on Mar 11, 2017 19:32:53 GMT
Oh okay ~ I'll open them so they can be breathing.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 11, 2017 21:57:13 GMT
Last evening, a neighbor of ours came by while I was not home but my husband was. the neighbor, a gentleman we know peripherally from the neighborhood lost his wife several years ago to breast cancer.
He seems to have fared pretty well and adapted to her being gone. We have chatted on a few occasions and reminisced about her as she was a particularly singular woman in so many ways. a nurse, a lover of animals who took in stray cats , a fabulous gardener and most of all a chef extraordinaire. (one dinner party she had for dessert 6 different sherberts and gelattos).
Anyway, I suppose he had finally got around to cleaning out her wardrobe closet and left for me an absolutely gorgeous Burberry raincoat,( trench style), of the most fabulous color and a perfect fit. I was ever so moved at his thoughtfulness in giving me this item. (in a sense when I saw him today I wanted to ask him what prompted him to give it to me, just for the sake of curiousity and perhaps some fodder for a poem).
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Post by mich64 on Mar 11, 2017 22:48:02 GMT
Maybe he wants to see another beautiful lady wear the coat that his wife probably liked very much. It will probably make him smile and provide a memory or two of when she wore it if he happens to see you wearing it. A special gift Casi.
The mother of a very dear friend of mine past away a few months ago. I brought my friend soup and buns the following day to try and help out as I knew she would be in charge of the arrangements and might be too busy to make a lunch or dinner in the days ahead. On the morning of the funeral the family gathered for tea before the service. Her sisters had arrived from the U.S. and just after we had all our hugs and nice to see you conversations, the three sisters asked me if I would like their mother's wheelchair for my sister. It was incredibly emotional for all of us as the sisters are both nurses and fully understand what my sister is dealing with and that she will surely need this soon. I was overwhelmed that in their own time of grief that they were thinking of her. I know their mom would be happy for my sister to have it, she used to stop in and visit her even if none of the girls were home. We will be picking it up soon as it has been cleared by the estate for donation so I will bring it to her on our next visit to Ottawa in April.
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Post by rikita on Mar 12, 2017 9:22:44 GMT
sleeping in as long as i want to - until i wake up on my own ...
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Post by bixaorellana on Apr 11, 2017 21:22:33 GMT
My next-door neighbors just got back from Peru. They brought me an adorable teeny woolen llama keychain & gave me some coca tea. I am pleased and touched.
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Post by mossie on Apr 13, 2017 14:56:06 GMT
Finding a hedgehog in my garden
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Post by lagatta on Apr 16, 2017 13:46:16 GMT
A hedgehog! Lovely.
As for exchanging keys, I have the keys of several friends who are owned by pussycats, and they have mine. Moreover, I live in a housing co-op and a member of the relevant committee has a master key, needed for example if there is a water leak. K2, your condo board doesn't do something like that?
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