Backtracking again....
Bakersfield - California. After checking out the address that the traveling family with the four little boys had given us, we thought it might be an idea to see what else was in Bakersfield.
It was a nice warm sunny day, and as we drove down we could see a big gathering on a field to the right. It was a barbecue held by some kind of local group. Everyone was invited, so we parked our car and joined in to see what was going on. There was a lot of food activity happening, it all smelt so good, especially to a couple of wanderers who were getting used to cold picnic food. We ate and then listened to the bands playing and the dancing on stage. Children ran around squealing and giggling, it was a nice family event and very relaxed.
Later on we drove around town and marveled at what California town life was really like. Every city and town has it's own vibe I found, this place was pleasant but there was something else. The best way to describe it would be that it had 'an edge'.
At dusk, we wondered if there may be a place for us to stay for the night that we could actually afford. There usually wasn't any, but my bf always worried that the car wasn't good enough or comfortable enough for me. I told him I liked it just the way it was, but he always tried to find me a better place to sleep if he could. It was a sweet gesture, but an unnecessary one, all I wanted was to be with him, no matter where it was.
Someone directed us towards a woman's group home of some kind. Apparently it was for woman who had been abused in some way or were homeless. It was more of a long term kind of place, really not what I needed or wanted come to that. But I thought I would give it a try, just to keep the bf happy.
I went inside and was taken to an 'office', where an unsmiling, harsh looking woman immediately read out all the rules to me, and there were many of them. I was already starting to feel stifled and locked in, and I had only just arrived. And worse, I really didn't want to spend the night without my bf, even being separated for one night was hard for me. It took all my will power to stay put. I knew that 'lock down' was at 10pm, at which time the main door to the building was locked and no one was allowed in or out. So I was told if I wanted to leave it would have to be before 10PM or tough luck.
There were many women there, hardly any of them smiled, they had hard faces to go with their hard lives. A few were heavily pregnant and some had small children with them. I had never been to a place like this before and felt very intimidated. I was told that I would have to share a room with 'Janis'. Janis was very pregnant and had a sour attitude, she took a dislike to me from the first time she saw me. She had two small children that she had already tucked into bed. She was not happy about having to share a room with me and kept giving me bad looks. Oh no, I thought, I really don't want be anywhere near this woman, she not only looked angry but dangerous. I wondered what her mental health was like.
I was told to go in the kitchen and help out, which I did. I cut vegetables, while other women did other chores. I didn't have much to say and listened to the chatter around me, some of them seemed to know each other well, they seemed comfortable in each others company, I was very much an outsider and they made sure I knew it. I kept looking at the clock, I wanted to leave but I knew my bf would wonder why I would desert a soft bed to sleep in the back of the car. Not wanting to look like a sissy, I tried to suck it up. It's just for the one night I kept telling myself.
Eventually after dinner, I went into my room to have a shower. The one thing I really wanted from this place. Janis told me not to disturb her kids by opening the light, I told her I wouldn't, but thought 'how am I going to get around the room in the dark?'. I eventually located the shower, by keeping the door of the room open and letting some light filter in. After which I had to join everyone else in the main hall where they had a guest speaker and then someone to sing songs for us. The singer had an amazing voice, I can still remember her version of 'amazing grace'. She was of African American decent and must have done this professionally or semi-professionally at some point in time.
Eventually everyone went off to their room and to bed. I went to the 'office' and told the woman I wanted to leave. She said it was past 10PM and the rules are that I had to stay after this time. I told her I didn't care what the rules said, she had better open the door for me and let me out. Reluctantly, she did this and I left. I found the car across the way, got in and snuggled in the back with my bf. He laughed and told me he knew I wouldn't stay the night there. He was beginning to know me a bit too well...
In the morning, we drove further South towards San Jose.
Perhaps my favorite Christian song - Amazing Grace:
Lyrics:
"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me....
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now, I see.
T'was Grace that taught...
my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear...
the hour I first believed.
Through many dangers, toils and snares...
we have already come.
T'was Grace that brought us safe thus far...
and Grace will lead us home.
The Lord has promised good to me...
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be...
as long as life endures.
Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
and mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
a life of joy and peace.
When we've been here ten thousand years...
bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise...
then when we've first begun.
"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me....
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now, I see."