|
Post by onlyMark on Jan 29, 2020 16:08:23 GMT
In Spain there are facilities to cover this. But this is not instant and as expected needs a number of appointments etc etc. These are things I will sort out as well. However, two things - 1) the person has to go to the appointment and my brother will not as he, in the mental state he is in, believes he will be forced in some way to stay in the clinic/hospital and 2) currently he is no danger to himself or others, so they say, hence any legislation as with in the UK where you have the forceful "Sectioning" laws of the Mental Health Act will only be activated if he is a threat or extremely vulnerable. Currently neither - plus it is often the case that to obtain treatment within the system for something like alcoholism, there is a Catch 22. You are tested (blood, urine, stools) and if you are clean, you are accepted. If not, you are not. The person has to show the willingness and determination to be 'cured' by a period of not drinking or whatever - which is impossible often if they do not get the help first.
|
|
|
Post by kerouac2 on Jan 29, 2020 16:23:20 GMT
This is a major debate in just about all of our countries, but as you point out, there is very little that can be done if the person is not willing and does not admit that there is a major problem. That's why we end up seeing so many people sleeping on the street after their families finally kick them out -- and even they cannot be forced to get help that they don't want.
I would not want to be in the shoes of our legislators who have decided that one's free will is primordial (that is a good thing) and are obliged to leave us with so many unacceptable situations that a hospital or a clinic might be able to solve (that is a bad thing, but we are lucky enough not to live in totalitarian dictatorships). Everybody gets blamed in the end, including the families.
|
|
|
Post by mickthecactus on Jan 29, 2020 17:25:32 GMT
I wish you all the best Mark. This is going to be difficult but if anybody has the character to sort it, you do.
I have had to deal with mental health to the point of sectioning and it's no fun at all.
|
|
|
Post by onlyMark on Jan 29, 2020 19:24:48 GMT
Thanks Mick. I've in the past had to deal with those who end up Sectioned, but also including my father due to the dementia. It's never easy.
|
|
|
Post by questa on Jan 29, 2020 23:09:07 GMT
You must do what you think is right, and quickly and decisively. I would say that Mark acts like this in all his decision-making situations, His brother has had many opportunities to change his life around with the help of someone who loves him. His inability to do so isn't going to get better, like a broken leg or appendicitis. Until Brother can see and understand the state he is in and makes an effort to change will Mark be able to help him.
|
|
|
Post by whatagain on Jan 30, 2020 7:25:34 GMT
If I may I would add one small thing in the equation. Mark has to protect himself too. Helping someone who got himself in the hole he created is one thing but he mustn't fall in the same hole or be (too much) affected by it. Often we don't protect ourselves enough. Esp when helping.
|
|
|
Post by casimira on Jan 30, 2020 18:27:56 GMT
My heart goes out to you Mark in having to deal with this.
I have personal experience with this regarding my own brother and sadly the outcome was his dying alone in a motel room in Las Vegas.
After years and years of trying everything under the sun to help him he chose his own fate.
I say this not to discourage you from continuing to try to do whatever you feel you have to do.
Every person is different and I like to believe there is hope in every case.
|
|
|
Post by onlyMark on Jan 30, 2020 19:02:14 GMT
Whatagain - yes, true.
Casimira - I believe also there is hope otherwise I wouldn't be going, though for the short term I can be there for now, I'm not sure what the effect will be as regards how long lasting my actions may be. Obviously, I have to put my utmost effort into it and I can only hope it will be rewarded. We'll see.
|
|
|
Post by mich64 on Jan 31, 2020 0:59:25 GMT
Mark, I understand what you are going through. We had a few very stress filled years watching a very close loved one destroying herself with alcohol. She became verbally abusive to Mr. M., who was always called upon to deal with whatever issue/problem that arose. It came to a breaking point (for everyone involved) and she chose to stop and change her life. She did it, it has been 3 years and she is happier and healthier than I have ever seen her and I have known her for over 40 years. She is an absolute joy to be around now. Near the end, there was no way I ever thought this result could be possible, but she did it.
I wish the best for your brother.
|
|
|
Post by lugg on Jan 31, 2020 18:34:37 GMT
I cant add anything to what others have already said Mark, but wishing you all the best.
|
|
|
Post by kerouac2 on Feb 2, 2020 23:46:56 GMT
Something I don't understand since there is an outcry when anybody is caught in blackface or is considered guilty of cultural appropriation is why there has been no complaint about Taika Waititi appearing in whiteface and impersonating somebody from a completely different ethnicity and culture in Jojo Rabbit.
|
|
|
Post by lagatta on Feb 3, 2020 0:21:39 GMT
I also think that it isn't really our responsibility in the sense of guilting ourselves. Some people develop a death wish or think there is no use changing anything at the state they are in. I worked with guys like that. Brilliant journalists, hideous tempers. One started drinking beer (at least at 10m, gradually went on to stronger stuff during the day, WITH NO FOOD. The other was on crack as well as the more socially acceptable weed and various bevvies. He became paranoid and was obsessed with killin his estranged wife, who was also the sister of the utterly sweetest guy in the place - perhaps he could be called an homme rose but he also kept very fit in noncompetitive ways; cycling, hiking etc. Sweet guy actually told creep # 2 that he would beat the shit out of him if he didn't stop threatening his sister.
Both those fellows are now dead. Sweet friend is alive and kicking. By the way he very much likes good wine and good food, but isn't remotely self-destructive.
|
|
|
Post by mickthecactus on Feb 5, 2020 13:44:20 GMT
Youngest grandson has his art course results and has enough points for University! If he goes he’ll be the first one in our family. Been offered a place at Brighton and an interview at Glasgow so far.
|
|
|
Post by kerouac2 on Feb 5, 2020 14:53:53 GMT
Isn't Glasgow where the art school burned down?
|
|
|
Post by mickthecactus on Feb 5, 2020 15:55:37 GMT
Isn't Glasgow where the art school burned down? Yes it was the Mackintosh Building, one of several Glasgow School of Art buildings.
|
|
|
Post by bjd on Feb 5, 2020 19:10:29 GMT
My daughter spent a year at Strathclyde University in Glasgow. She really liked it there.
|
|
|
Post by cheerypeabrain on Feb 5, 2020 19:33:55 GMT
Ooh I really wanted to go to art college when I was a lass. How fabulous for your grandson Mick. My nephew lives in Glasgow...in Nielston a few miles outside Paisley. It's a lovely area..the Burrell Collection is well worth a visit...and Glasgow city centre itself is amazing (in daylight anyway )
|
|
|
Post by bixaorellana on Feb 5, 2020 20:15:58 GMT
🌟 Congratulations! 🌟 Absolutely thrilling news, Mick! How fabulous that his talent is being recognized in this very fulfilling and practical way. Pleased to bits for all of you!
|
|
|
Post by mickthecactus on Feb 5, 2020 20:41:17 GMT
Thank you guys. We are so delighted. Even his brother is!
|
|
|
Post by mickthecactus on Feb 5, 2020 21:41:29 GMT
Glasgow is rated 10th best art school in the world
Fingers crossed!
|
|
|
Post by casimira on Feb 5, 2020 22:58:53 GMT
I am so thrilled for you and the lad Mick!!! Nice to hear some cheery news on here. Best wishes!
|
|
|
Post by questa on Feb 5, 2020 23:23:14 GMT
Your grand-sons are so lucky to have you to encourage them. I take it that there is a cricket team at the University.
|
|
|
Post by lagatta on Feb 5, 2020 23:55:05 GMT
There must be. Actually, my mum was the first in our family to win a university degree - at a certain age. She already had a "Normal School" degree to teach, but needed to upgrade it. I guess I was the second, unless one means extended family. I think many people don't realise how rare it was until a fair bit into the postwar period.
I'm very happy about more post-secondary education, though not all of it should be academic. Highly skilled trades are also extremely important.
|
|
|
Post by questa on Feb 6, 2020 4:36:06 GMT
My son #2 was the first in my family. Studied Philosophy at Adelaide Uni and graduated top of the class with the University Medal and $1800 award. Bought a clapped out VW van and spent a year travelling around the Eastern Seaboard...wound up in hippy town of Byron Bay.
Won a scholarship to do his degree at Aust. National Uni. Took 7 years to do his thesis...having too much fun. Had lots of weird jobs. Returned to Adelaide then taught English in Japan 2 years.
Now teaching at Adelaide University. We are proud of his achievements.
|
|
|
Post by mickthecactus on Feb 6, 2020 13:30:05 GMT
Lagatta is right. When I was at Grammar School only 2 or 3 went on from 6th form to University.
|
|
|
Post by kerouac2 on Feb 6, 2020 13:53:27 GMT
I think my mother was one of only two to go on to university. The other girl was the daughter of the headmaster of the school, and her mother also taught there.
|
|
|
Post by mich64 on Feb 6, 2020 17:29:52 GMT
Wonderful news about your grandson Mick! Congratulations!
|
|
|
Post by mossie on Feb 6, 2020 20:15:39 GMT
I think I am a similar vintage to Mick, in any case that proportion sounds about right for my time. Now I think the situation is reversed and far too many people are finishing up with rubbish degrees in useless subjects. I am afraid I say that now this country has far too much education and not enough common sense.
|
|
|
Post by mickthecactus on Feb 6, 2020 23:04:22 GMT
Thanks Mich and I do wish you better very soon.
Mossie, I’m a tad behind you. But I agree with you 100%. The universities need money hence it is so open now.
|
|
|
Post by kerouac2 on Feb 8, 2020 9:44:04 GMT
President Bolsonaro of Brazil has declared that France poses the greatest military threat to his country. That's a refreshing change from the usual suspects.
(The border between France and Brazil is actually France's longest land border -- 730 kilometres.)
Bolsonaro imagines that France could invade the Brazilian Amazon in the coming years due to environmental disputes.
|
|