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Post by onlymark on Oct 1, 2010 19:56:01 GMT
I've just taken the toilet paper off. Well most of it, some has stuck, but the sellotape was difficult so I had to cut it. The problem is now that the original scrape has stopped bleeding but I didn't have any scissors to cut the sellotape off, so I've used a Stanley knife (box knife). When the cat jumped up on the table to have a look he knocked my hand and I've made quite a deep cut in my palm.
Don't you use cat gut for stitching wounds?
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Post by onlymark on Oct 1, 2010 19:58:26 GMT
Well, I tried catching the cat because I couldn't wait for your answer. Unfortunately I've tripped over it and fallen through the patio doors.
When you have a large glass shard stuck in your inner thigh near that large artery thing, do you pull it out or leave it in?
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Post by onlymark on Oct 1, 2010 20:00:20 GMT
I've found the cayenne!
I don't have enough to stem the bleeding in my thigh though. Can I use the garlic powder as well?
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Post by onlymark on Oct 1, 2010 20:02:04 GMT
Ooops. The ambulance is here. I doubt they have wifi in it or at the hospital so I'll have to sign off for a while.
I'll try and remember to tell them about the cayenne tip when I come out of the operating theatre. I hope they don't know it already.
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Post by bixaorellana on Oct 1, 2010 20:04:13 GMT
The paramedics didn't drop you or bang your head against a doorjam(s) on the way to the ambulance, did they?
I'd offer to come hold your hand, but I'm laughing too hard shaking with distress at your plight.
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Post by onlymark on Oct 1, 2010 20:12:57 GMT
Sorry......... Can't answer too long.............. The ambulance is going past all the McDonalds where there is free wifi....
The signal keeps fading in and out...............
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Post by onlymark on Oct 1, 2010 20:13:58 GMT
I'm now in the ER but they say I can't take my laptop into the theatre.
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Post by onlymark on Oct 1, 2010 20:14:20 GMT
I've snuck my Blackberry in though!!
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Post by onlymark on Oct 1, 2010 20:15:43 GMT
They've taken the glass shard out. Apparently they're having difficulty stemming the bleeding.
Do you think they'd appreciate or not me saying about the cayenne?
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Post by onlymark on Oct 1, 2010 20:16:20 GMT
Waiting..........
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Post by onlymark on Oct 1, 2010 20:17:29 GMT
I told them. They thought it was a good idea. They mumbled something to each other about clutching at straws.
I hope they're not thinking of using straw to do it.
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Post by onlymark on Oct 1, 2010 20:18:45 GMT
Nope, they've come back with a packet of something from the kitchen. I'm looking at it now but it's in Arabic, it'll take me a minute to decipher it.
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Post by onlymark on Oct 1, 2010 20:19:28 GMT
Yikes!! It says rat killer powder!! I've got to tell them, give me a sec.
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Post by onlymark on Oct 1, 2010 20:21:02 GMT
Jeez, that was close. Apparently they keep the spices in other packets when they buy it in bulk. They've assured me it's cayenne. Well, I think that's what they said, nobody speaks English too well.
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Post by onlymark on Oct 1, 2010 20:23:30 GMT
I managed to find the Arabic to English dictionary app on the blackberry and put it what they said, cayenne.
Nope, that means in Arabic - falafel powder.
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Post by onlymark on Oct 1, 2010 20:25:19 GMT
They've gone away an come back with something else. I hope it doesn't take too long to work, whatever it is.
How many litres of blood does a human body have? They've collected four and a half litres of mine so far. Is that serious?
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Post by onlymark on Oct 1, 2010 20:27:36 GMT
YOOOUCH!!!!
They've dowsed my thigh in this new powder and it stings like crazy. I'm trying to see what it says on the packet.
Jeez, it says something like drain cleaner.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 1, 2010 20:29:27 GMT
Can't they just slap some flat bread over the biggest wounds?
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Post by onlymark on Oct 1, 2010 20:30:39 GMT
Nope, they say, it's not drain cleaner, it's garlic powder.
See! Garlic powder works!!!!!
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Post by onlymark on Oct 1, 2010 20:31:02 GMT
Hang on K2.
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Post by onlymark on Oct 1, 2010 20:31:43 GMT
Yep, I suggested that as they seem to be having problems finding bandages. They said they'd see about it.
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Post by onlymark on Oct 1, 2010 20:32:20 GMT
They've come back and are just sitting there on the floor having their supper.
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Post by onlymark on Oct 1, 2010 20:34:37 GMT
I get it!
They've eaten their schwarma sandwich, well they've just eaten the meat. The bread they're wrapping around the wound.
They've nothing to fix it with so out with the sellotape.
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Post by onlymark on Oct 1, 2010 20:35:20 GMT
The smell of that schwarma is really good, making me really hungry.
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Post by onlymark on Oct 1, 2010 20:36:01 GMT
Well folks, drama over, all is well and good. The bleeding has stopped and I'm on my way home.
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Post by onlymark on Oct 1, 2010 20:36:20 GMT
Back....... past........... McDonalds.............
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Post by onlymark on Oct 1, 2010 20:36:59 GMT
Now at home, I could eat a horse now, the smell is making my mouth water.
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Post by onlymark on Oct 1, 2010 20:37:58 GMT
I was grating papaya just now and I've grated my thumb as well. And I don't have any plasters, I've had to use toilet roll instead.
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Post by onlymark on Oct 1, 2010 20:39:08 GMT
Shit, I forgot to put the cayenne on first. Just wait a minute while I cut the sellotape off.
Now where did I leave that box knife.
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Post by onlymark on Oct 1, 2010 20:39:31 GMT
Guess what!!!!!!
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