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Post by lugg on Aug 21, 2012 6:32:58 GMT
Every year there is a competition at the Einburh fringe of the best one liners
This year it was won by Canadian Stewart Francis with
- "You know who really gives kids a bad name?
......Posh and Becks."
Here are the rest - I like No 9 ;D
2. Tim Vine - "Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the telly. " 3. Will Marsh - "I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed my sister." 4. Rob Beckett - "You know you're working class when your TV is bigger than your book case." 5. Chris Turner - "I'm good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet… I don't know why." 6. Tim Vine - "I took part in the sun tanning Olympics - I just got Bronze." 7. George Ryegold - "Pornography is often frowned upon, but that's only because I'm concentrating." 8. Stewart Francis - "I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting!" 9. Lou Sanders - "I waited an hour for my starter so I complained: 'It's not rocket salad." 10. Nish Kumar - "My mum's so pessimistic, that if there was an Olympics for pessimism… she wouldn't fancy her chances."
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Post by onlymark on Aug 21, 2012 20:38:17 GMT
Where would we be without puns?
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Post by Deleted on Aug 21, 2012 20:48:17 GMT
I am still hoping to understand #5.
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Post by htmb on Aug 21, 2012 21:03:01 GMT
I am still hoping to understand #5. Seriously?
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Post by Deleted on Aug 21, 2012 21:33:44 GMT
Yes, I have no idea what it means. If the line had been "I'm good friends with the 25 letters of the alphabet..." I would at least have found a bad joke. Does the fact that I don't have the slightest idea who Chris Turner is have anything to do with my incomprehension?
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Post by patricklondon on Aug 22, 2012 11:20:54 GMT
In my newspaper, it was spelt out -- "I don't know Y".
Whether you find it funny or not is another matter.
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Post by onlymark on Aug 22, 2012 16:31:00 GMT
If there were, say, 26 members of a club, which would sound better?-
1) "I'm good friends with 25 members of the club… I don't know John." 2) "I'm good friends with the 25 members of the club… I don't know John."
I'd go for number one every time. The reason I wouldn't say "the 25 letters......." is that there are 26. To me "the 25" presupposes that there are only 25, so I would say "the 26 letters of the alphabet." but any less than that would exclude the "the". E.g. you would say, "The 300 fought well at Thermopylae" - you wouldn't say, "The 299 fought well at Thermopylae but Stavros was a coward." - Whereas, "299 of the 300 fought well at Thermopylae but Stavros was a coward." does make sense.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 22, 2012 16:32:56 GMT
I think more and more things are going through the auto-translate section of my brain now, and of course the joke doesn't work in French.
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Post by lugg on Aug 25, 2012 18:56:23 GMT
How the hell did I manage to miss so many letters ?
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