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Post by Deleted on Jul 9, 2016 4:59:36 GMT
...actually an extraterrestrial.
I come from a planet known throughout the cosmos for...
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Post by whatagain on Jul 9, 2016 13:40:44 GMT
... its extraordinary beer. The planet is called Jupileffe and people come for its beer and ...
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Post by Deleted on Jul 9, 2016 18:58:48 GMT
...its solar blasted potatoes.
They were originally imported from the tiny country of Belgium which...
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Post by whatagain on Jul 9, 2016 20:41:40 GMT
... sunk into oblivion when water rose and engulfed it.
However some belgian brains were stored into old coalmines and...
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Post by Deleted on Jul 9, 2016 22:01:58 GMT
...are still displayed on important holidays.
Notably on the feast of Saint Nicolas, you can see...
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Post by chexbres on Jul 10, 2016 7:53:05 GMT
...huge platters of fried brains and frites, which are carried through the streets to commemorate the occasion! Then, after everyone has...
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Post by Deleted on Jul 11, 2016 5:43:43 GMT
...their stomachs pumped.
But then the semi-digested food is used for...
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Post by chexbres on Jul 11, 2016 9:15:20 GMT
...feeding the town's free-range organic chickens! But since the people who live here...
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Post by Deleted on Jul 11, 2016 19:55:39 GMT
...are all vegans, they have to get rid of the chickens.
At least that's what they said because in reality...
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Post by whatagain on Jul 13, 2016 21:43:14 GMT
... chickens are only happy with both feet in the sh... So they need a lot of bullsh... that they download from ....
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Post by chexbres on Jul 14, 2016 12:28:15 GMT
...any travel forums stating how simple it is to uproot your family and live in Europe for a year! However, when those chickens find out how deep...
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Post by mossie on Jul 15, 2016 14:56:25 GMT
But when the chickens realise just how deeply in the shit they are
They quickly learn to fly
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Post by Deleted on Jul 15, 2016 16:04:41 GMT
...and roost on the moon.
Nobody knew that the moon was full of animals because...
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Post by chexbres on Jul 17, 2016 11:28:15 GMT
...nobody has actually been to the Moon - it was all a hoax! But if they had, they...
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Post by mossie on Jul 17, 2016 20:17:49 GMT
....would realise that it was made of cheese all along
So at least the mice would be happy
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Post by whatagain on Jul 17, 2016 20:51:56 GMT
but less than the astrocats. However astrocats are all vegetarian because...
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Post by mossie on Jul 18, 2016 11:40:39 GMT
........the mice have grown so big and strong on the cheese
the mice fight back and tear their ears off
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Post by whatagain on Jul 18, 2016 16:41:18 GMT
... mosquitoes coming from meteors during hurricanes. they then spit fire on 109...
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Post by Deleted on Jul 18, 2016 20:16:05 GMT
...self-appointed guard dogs.
They never actually guard anything because...
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Post by mickthecactus on Jan 30, 2017 13:26:54 GMT
They are just pussy cats at heart.
Even so they like to....
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Post by Deleted on Jan 30, 2017 22:12:47 GMT
...bark up the wrong tree.
They see Washington DC up in the sky and...
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Post by mickthecactus on Jan 31, 2017 8:19:41 GMT
Realise they must be standing on their heads.
I like standing on my head because it makes me.........
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Post by whatagain on Jan 31, 2017 8:27:07 GMT
Puke all my bad ideas which may take some time. Feeling much better I then go to ....
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Post by Deleted on Jan 31, 2017 17:14:59 GMT
... the perfect kingdom ruled by Theresa May.
Unfortunately, it appears that...
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Post by mickthecactus on Mar 15, 2017 13:27:34 GMT
Jeremy Corbyn has other ideas.
Indeed, he wants to.......
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Post by Deleted on Mar 19, 2017 1:54:01 GMT
...turn Buckingham Palace into a shelter for the homeless.
The only problem is that...
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Post by mickthecactus on Mar 21, 2017 8:42:38 GMT
Prince Philip insists on sharing the cheap cider with them.
Apparently he drank so much the other night that.......
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Post by mossie on Mar 21, 2017 20:08:48 GMT
His back teeth were floating and sailed across to Europe
Where they bit Herrfuhrer Junkers on the arse
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Post by Deleted on Mar 21, 2017 21:06:54 GMT
...and made him roar.
The sound was so frightening that...
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Post by mickthecactus on Mar 22, 2017 8:28:37 GMT
Italy ran away and hid.
But France..........
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