Let Them Eat US Chickens
Mar 24, 2016 15:20:32 GMT
Post by tod2 on Mar 24, 2016 15:20:32 GMT
The following article was written by a regular newspaper correspondent - targeting South Africans:
"We are all going to have to start doing what we can to help boost our bedridden economy. This includes those indolent indigents who hang about the traffic lights waiting for a handout instead of studying for a degree in astrophysics or putting in the hard hours by working in a Nando's kitchen.
For my part, I intend eating more American chickens. A lot more. And I suggest you do the same.
If you don't want to do it for me, do it for our relationship with America.
In the last week, 16 million kilograms of chickens from the land of the free and home of the brave, flew into South Africa. Not physically of course...
Chickens aren't exactly up there with seagulls when it comes to aeronautical ability, and they're even more clumsy with their heads off.
Thanks to a piece of imperialist F***ery called the African Growth and Opportunity Act, our supermarkets will be bombarded with 65 million kilograms of chicken a year for the next nine years.
The Act, as it relates to chickens, is an opportunity for American Chicken Farmers to get richer and an opportunity for South Africans to grow even fatter.
This deal works out at 280kgs of chicken for every man. woman and child, every day of the year.
Poultry farmers in the US obviously sell the best bits to their own people because they're a very discerning nation. You can tell this by the number of people who want Donald Trump as their president.
When it comes to chickens, Americans care only about breasts and wings. The leg bit - what we know as the thigh and drumstick - is regarded as a by-product and therefore eminently suitable for Africans.
South African chicken farmers are less than impressed. Flooding the market with fowls pumped full of cancer-causing filth had traditionally been their responsibility. How dare these...ah, who cares. We're all going to die at some point. It may as well be with a face full of giblets riddled with arsenic and brine".
"We are all going to have to start doing what we can to help boost our bedridden economy. This includes those indolent indigents who hang about the traffic lights waiting for a handout instead of studying for a degree in astrophysics or putting in the hard hours by working in a Nando's kitchen.
For my part, I intend eating more American chickens. A lot more. And I suggest you do the same.
If you don't want to do it for me, do it for our relationship with America.
In the last week, 16 million kilograms of chickens from the land of the free and home of the brave, flew into South Africa. Not physically of course...
Chickens aren't exactly up there with seagulls when it comes to aeronautical ability, and they're even more clumsy with their heads off.
Thanks to a piece of imperialist F***ery called the African Growth and Opportunity Act, our supermarkets will be bombarded with 65 million kilograms of chicken a year for the next nine years.
The Act, as it relates to chickens, is an opportunity for American Chicken Farmers to get richer and an opportunity for South Africans to grow even fatter.
This deal works out at 280kgs of chicken for every man. woman and child, every day of the year.
Poultry farmers in the US obviously sell the best bits to their own people because they're a very discerning nation. You can tell this by the number of people who want Donald Trump as their president.
When it comes to chickens, Americans care only about breasts and wings. The leg bit - what we know as the thigh and drumstick - is regarded as a by-product and therefore eminently suitable for Africans.
South African chicken farmers are less than impressed. Flooding the market with fowls pumped full of cancer-causing filth had traditionally been their responsibility. How dare these...ah, who cares. We're all going to die at some point. It may as well be with a face full of giblets riddled with arsenic and brine".
