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Post by Deleted on Apr 4, 2009 10:29:11 GMT
As some of you know, I have been caring for my mother since 2005 when my father died. She has been in a nursing home since 2006, but it is very close to where I live, and I make a point of going to see her every day. It is the high point of her day, and her face lights up the moment she sees me.
This has put an end to most of my travelling for the time being, which gives me all that much more time to be on the internet (too bad for you people!).
Strangely enough, at the last visit to the neurologist 2 weeks ago, it was noticed that my mother had improved over the previous visit 6 months earlier. And I had noticed this myself, because she came through this winter much better than the previous one.
I hate it when you start getting false hopes.
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Post by palesa on Apr 4, 2009 11:28:32 GMT
Kerouac, you are an amazing son! I stand in awe of your dedication to your mother's care. I think you should be grateful for the improvement and expect nothing more (easier said than done).
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Post by tillystar on Apr 4, 2009 12:09:10 GMT
Both my mum's parents had Alzheimer's. My grandma still had some awareness of life around her as she died before it progressed but my grandad was very bad for the last 8 or 9 years of his life. One of the things that amazed me most was that after months and months of knowing none of us and being confused about everything he could suddenly have very short periods of absolute clarity. Those were precious moments that still make me smile when I remember them...although they do make me wonder about the nature of the horrible disease.
I am so pleased to hear your Mother is ding well at the moment, I hope it continues for you both.
Do you not get any time away at all? I just ask as I know how draining it can be and each summer we moved into my Mum's for 2 weeks (and sometimes for a weekend) so she could go away and I think she really needed that time so she could be strong for her Mum. I hope if you need to get away you will?
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Post by tillystar on Apr 4, 2009 12:13:03 GMT
I just realised that might sound really flippant and thoughtless and it might not be so easy for you to feel you could go away. I just meant if you need to you should as it is important for both of you.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 4, 2009 15:00:05 GMT
Oh, I get away every now and then but never for more than a week... and I still phone every day.
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Post by Kimby on Apr 22, 2009 19:04:08 GMT
Kerouac, is your mother on some of the newer medications? Perhaps that is what is responsible for her increased clarity?
I imagine there is some peace of mind having her in a safe environment. I imagine that the part where a parent starts losing it, but hasn't yet moved out of the family home, must be very stressful and scary.
What did you think of two movies dealing with the subject - The Notebook, and Away From Her?
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Post by Deleted on Apr 22, 2009 19:35:10 GMT
My mother is no longer on Alzheimer's medication at all, because all of the doctors have made it clear that the currently available ones only slow the beginning of the disease and are of no use when the disease is "full blown."
Strangely enough, I find her in better shape this year than she was last year at this time. In fact, last year in April I ordered my brother to come and visit from California as it might be his last chance to see her. About one week before he arrived, she started getting better (why? who knows?) -- for example, she could barely walk and I had been obliged to pay for a 'retention belt' for days when they wanted to keep her in a wheelchair (like when she fell down 15 times the same day, although she never hurt herself). I really admired my mother for that -- she could worm her way out of that like a weasel, leaving the wheelchair behind (usually overturned) and continuing her incessant walking around and around and around.
Anyway, a year later, I was still able to take her on a short trip 2-night to La Rochelle and Macon (not the one in Georgia). She loves to take road trips, although I have noticed that the day on the road now needs to be an hour shorter than it used to be. The main problem now is that she is a typical Alzheimer runaway. Five minutes is the grand maximum that I can hope for her to stay alone in a hotel room while I get the bags out of the car or move it to a better parking spot. After that, she is out the door and on the prowl. On the other hand, she is extremely unsteady on her feet and is super careful, so she doesn't get very far. Nevertheless, on the morning we left Macon, I went to run and get the car in the pouring rain and put it in front of the hotel entrance. "Yes, yes, I'll wait here. I won't move." I was back in about 4 minutes and she had already made it down an entire flight of stairs and through two long hallways. Yikes. I figure that in the future, I will have to find a sympathetic person at the reception and ask them to keep an eye on her for a few minutes if I have to do something.
Next trip will be in August if all goes well. And as autumn approaches, I will start twisting my brother's arm for a new visit...
(As for those movies, I liked The Notebook but didn't find it realistic, at least not for the situation that I am experiencing. My mother has no short term memory but alxo very little memory at all of most of her adult life. When I told her that she had been married twice, for more than 20 years each time, her reaction was 'No kidding!' Regarding Away from Her, I never saw the end of it, because I saw it at the time that I was still taking my mother to the movies, and she found it too excruciatingly boring, so we had to leave. She was more into movies like King Kong or things with lots of violence and chase scenes. You cannot imagine the number of movies I saw with her surrounded by an audience of teenage boys.)
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