A Nepali Horse-boy's Lost Chance. Part 1

[spindrift]

Having waved goodbye to the plane that had taken us to Jomsom (10,000ft) overshadowed by Dhaulagiri and Nilgiri (7,000m peaks)....



we sorted ourselves out and met our team of mules and horses. We were on our way to the ancient kingdom of Mustang.

But this is not a story about our journey; it's about the small boy, Ishwor, who cared for us and our horses.



When I met him I guessed that Ishwor was possibly 9 or 10 years old. Because of limited protein in his diet, Ishwor's growth was stunted. He was 12 or 13. The poor do not keep records of their birth dates.

Through the heat of the days and the cold nights, Ishwor was ready and willilng to help us and tend to our horses.


Nothing was too much trouble for him. By the time we turned round and headed for home we had become very fond of him. Silvia, my friend, said she would like to adopt him and take him to England,
but finally we decided to ask him whether he would like to be educated with the chance of earning a better living than that of horse-keeper.

I should tell you now that a job looking after horses is given only to lowest castes of Nepali people. They are despised and downtrodden. Ishwor's only payment was the food he was given. He slept on rags at night. Toiling year after year over the high mountains would take their toll and he would die young.
Together we decided that he should be sent to a boarding school in Pokhara town. First we would discuss this proposal with his parents.


Silvia had to leave for the UK so I tracked them down with the help of my Sherpa friend who translated for us. They readily agreed that their son should take advantage of the education we offered. I then set about finding a suitable school for him.

With help, I chose this school and then kitted him out with his first-ever belongings. I bought him a mattress, pillow, sheets, blanket, clothes, books - everything that we in the West take for granted.

I should mention that his parents were homeless and lived on a slab of concrete (pictured) with no possessions. Ishwor's mother had given birth to him and his 2 siblings on this concrete. Both parents earned a few rupees a day by carrying sand up a steep embankment from the Seti Gandakhi river.

For the first year of Ishwor's schooling all went well. He applied himself, was bright and learned quickly. This picture shows how well he looked.


Then all went quiet. After several months we paid for a friend to fly to Pokhara for the day and find out what had happened to our little protege. It was bad news....for reasons we don't understand he had left the school and joined a circus. He had gone.

What a frightful dilemma. Now we are sticken by the thought that we should not have interfered in someone's life. Who knows whether we have made the future better or worse for him?

[spindrift]

I didn't quite get the re-sizing right....but here are some extra pictures. The slab of concrete behind the family is their only home. They have no possessions because they have nowhere to hide them.







Here is the school I chose for Ishwor.



(I fixed the non-working photo link - Kerouac)

[palesa]

Spindrift, I believe that what you did was amazing, and the right thing to do! I am touched by your generosity and compassion.

You can only do what you believe is the right thing to do, you can only do your best, you unfortunately cannot affect the outcome.

Is it possible that he has a better life in a circus than as a horse boy?

[bixaorellana]

Incredible story. Spindrift, you are upset about the outcome and about interfering. You gave that boy something far more important than warm shoes and an educational chance. You let him know that people looked upon him and saw value and potential. He will carry that with him forever. And there is something wild and free and magnificent about going off with the circus.

[happytraveller]

Spindrift, I admire you for what you did ! It takes great courage to interfere with someones life. It is so much easier to just look away. And you gave him something very important: A chance ! I am sure he will never forget this and I do hope it will have a positive influence on his future.

[Deleted]

I have helped people during trips to Ethiopia, Cuba and Vietnam but I never kept track of what happened afterwards, probably to protect my own feelings. That is a great story, Sprindrift -- we can only try to help with no guarantee of success.

[spindrift]

Thank you for trying to reassure me.

I imagine that circus life would be hard in Nepal. There cannot be many circuses in the country.

Silvia intends to return to Pokhara this year. I might try and go with her. We know where to find Ishwor's parents. Perhaps we could offer the same opportunity to his little brother (see above) who is the right age for starting school.
We had been prepared to educated Ishwor up to University level. He was so bright that we were told he might , one day, have won a scholarship.

Perhaps our big mistake was not providing a regular income for his poverty-stricken parents. Maybe they relied on their son's meagre earnings to supplement their very low income. I heard a rumour that they are both alcoholics. I can't blame them as they have a dreadful life and they are getting old. Life expectancy is low in Nepal. We should have provided them with a regular amount of money sufficient to buy them food and they might have left Ishwor alone.

My Sherpa friend advises that it would have been better to send the boy to boarding school in Kathmandu, well away from his parents' influence, where he could have kept a regular eye on him.

Kerouac - thanks for fixing the photo-link. I will get better at it as I go along.

[Jazz]

Ishwor was a young boy that you generously led into the next stage of his life. Once there, he had a dream of joining a circus. Perhaps he didn't even know that such a magnificent and exotic world existed until you enhanced his awareness and sense of possibility. Because of you, he is living his dream at this moment. He may be happy, or he may move yet again. Because of you his life is so much more fluid. I don't think that he will ever forget your gift.

[mockchoc]

Yes that really was kind of you Spindrift and you did ask for his parents permission so never think you interfered. They wouldn't have allowed it if they didn't think it a good idea.

Even alcoholic parents still care about their children, yes maybe some don't do a good job but I'm sure they loved and wanted him to have a good life.

Is there a lot of this problem there with the poor drinking too much?

[spindrift]

I don't know the extent of the drinking problems. But I do know that the life that the poor have to endure is one of total deprivation and I don't blame them for trying to escape their troubles. I mean the family in my story don't even have four walls around them and have no shelter from the weather. They carry heavy bags of sand all day, every day to earn a few rupees to sustain themselves... Any alcohol that they would drink would be home-brewed by someone else and would probably be fairly poisonous.

I had thought of paying to erect walls for them but I was told by an old-hand in Nepal that every so often the equivalent of a Council would come along with a bulldozer and flatten the area where the poor squat. I can't imagine what'll happen to this family when the parents become too old to work and I dread to think how they'll end their days. If I go back to Pokhara I will try and find them and help them. I didn't mention their daughter who is 16 and carrying sand as well.

[spindrift]

Today I have received this email from my Nepali friend who flew to Pokhara to find the boy:

" I went to Pokhara to find out Ishwar Nepali. Thank you so much for being very kind to me always.
Very frankly I find that Mala gurung the principle is not a correct lady. She reported me just opposite of tthe reality about Ishwars education. She did not tell me that Ishwar was not comming to School untill I sent one friend to talk Ishwar. I relly felt very bad when I knew that Ishwar is not comming to the school anymore since October begining( when the festival called Dashain holiday begin).

What a pity!

I have left my visiting card and contact address in Pokhara to Ishwars Mother. But I dont know they will contact me or not, however one of my friend is going to check his place now and then so that when he comes he will contact me. I may need to go once more when Ishwar returns to Pokhara.

The story of MP3 narrated by Malas husband Mohan Gurung!

The story is, One of Malas son, who study in US sent one MP3 to them and it was lost in their house. They suspected that I shawar might have taken it because he is from the poor family and they alwyas find an excuse to blame him because he is poor. I dont know but I guess they might have shouted or even did beyond that to poor Ishwar so he had felt very humilated and told his mother that he wont like to go to the school anymore. He than left the school and went to work in a circus company that desplay very risky and thrilling game at the event of local fair in the cities . I still hope that one day he will come to Pokhara and give me a call."

THIS MAKES ME SO SAD. He has been falsely accused and punished. Can we ever find him again?

[tillystar]

It is so special what you did for Ishwor (like others said in the confidence, care and trust you showed him as much as in what you gave him for his education), I really hope that you find him one day and this story has a happy ending. He has many years left ahead of him, so still time for a happy ending - they do exist xxx

[spindrift]

I still hope for a happy ending for Ishwor. As with the destitute millions who live in the Mumbai slums see Slumdog Millionaire there are rarely happy endings.

If I have any hopes at all it would be to send Ishwor's little brother to school.

[Deleted]

Spindrift, this thread has haunted me for days. Your compassion and selfless act of kindness warm my heart. Thank you. Persons like yourself really can and do make the world a better place.

[spindrift]

Casimira - thank you.... however the story rambles on like this:

Having already sent £349.00 (Nepalese Rps. 41,000) to Nepal to pay for Ishwor's fees it seemed a pity to have the money sent back to the UK. Half of this amount belongs to my friend Silvia. So I decided to give my half to my Sherpa friend to pay for his son's education and help him with household expenses. (I am already paying for his son's dayschool fees in Kathmandu which cost much less than boarding fees , of course)....Here is a picture of my Sherpa with his lovely daughter.



Life is hard in Kathmandu these days. Sometimes there's no electricity for 16 hours a day. The maoist government hasn't had time to get things organised yet.

[palesa]

Indeed, it is people like you who make this world a better place.

[spindrift]

And you too....and Casimira....all of us who are mindful of others.... x

[spindrift]

To my great surprise, Ishwar the Horseboy, has been given a Second Chance..

[spindrift]

For newcomers to this thread - this should be read first....before The Horseboy's Second Chance...

[mickthecactus]

That is quite amazing Spindrift. Thank you.

[spindrift]

Glad you think so Mick... it looks like this story is going to run on and on. I wonder what will happen to Ishwar in Kathmandu?

[spindrift]

Oh my goodness! I re-read this thread and I saw Post no. 14. This shows my Sherpa friend and his daughter.

Listen to this story ......... during a trek about 4 years ago, this Sherpa - happily married to a Sherpa lady from the Khumbu region near to Everest - met an Englishwoman. This woman latched onto him - see, I'm blamig the woman, maybe this isn't fair of me.
In anycase after much tooing and froing between England and Nepal he married this Englishwoman last year and is now living somewhere in Middlesex just outside London.
When I first heard this I simply could not believe it! I could not credit that he would leave his Nepali wife and children where, due to his hard work, he had a very nice house in the Kathmandu Valley. I have visited it several times.

Finally this guy gets onto Facebook; we become friends on fb, and I chatted to him online one day asking him to confirm the gossip heard about him getting married in the UK. Oh yes, he said, I did...we (he and his new wife) want to help them (his family) in Kathmandu.

I see...well I dont' see. He seems to imply that he thought it better to marry an englishwoman to better the chances of his wife and kids.

No, I dont get it.

I am very sad that this has happened.

[Deleted]

That is a rather appalling turn of events, but it is true that some people will do anything to better their family's life.