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Post by mossie on Jan 23, 2014 19:31:34 GMT
Take it from this crusty old dinosaur. Do your travelling as soon as you can, then you may travel further and on the trickier and more interesting roads. Do not grow old. Do not give up.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 24, 2014 0:22:11 GMT
That is very good advice, mossie. Thank you for that. I never wanted to be straddled with debt and responsibility right into my later years. I think too many people wait too long to 'do that trip' or 'take that chance' or 'go that place they always wanted to go' etc. And when they are finally ready it is almost too late. At least too late to do it with good health and like you say to go to those places that do require a person to be fit and up for it.
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Post by Kimby on Jan 24, 2014 0:38:16 GMT
"Make Big Plans!" and "Do It Now!" were my parents' mottos, and they served them well.
They went to China for their last big international trip in their mid 80's and were still downhill skiing at 85 (Mom) and 87 (Dad), and whitewater canoeing till their mid 80's, when they switched to flat-water canoeing with a Kevlar canoe that weighed less than half what the whitewater canoe did.
Dad died at 90+ with no regrets. Mom's still hanging on with lots of good memories to keep her company, though she's lost her partner-in-crime.
I was told by a much older friend that one should try to do as much as they can in their 70's because "in your 80's everything gets so much harder". Based on what I've observed, she's right.
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Post by bixaorellana on Jan 24, 2014 2:20:56 GMT
Maybe, maybe not. The problem with statements like that is that they nudge us into becoming the effect of someone elses reality. I think we've all known people who act broken down in their fifties and even some who start practicing that in their forties. None of us are going to live forever and we all hope it won't be the end of the world for us if for whatever reason we lose some of our physical mobility or stamina. Kimby's parents just kept going and having full lives. Would that have happened if they'd had some particular old age marker set in their minds?
Edited to say that I meant to acknowledge what Mossie said so succinctly, from his vantage point of been-there, still-doing-that.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 24, 2014 2:40:45 GMT
Exactly, Kimby. And just as mossie was saying, we should do what we can while we still can. The reality is (and we do have to be realistic about this do we not?), not many people are fit as they would like to be in their later years and then they look back and end up regretting that they did not do what they really wanted to while they were still young enough to enjoy it and do it to their fullest.
Of course not everyone is in a position that they can just take off to where ever, whenever, but if they have the opportunity and are still able to, then by all means they should. We only live once and life is short.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 24, 2014 2:59:53 GMT
Also we must remember that to travel is not everything. I've known very happy people who have never left their part of the world, town or city even and they are just fine with that. They have managed to find a meaningful way to live their lives, that fulfill them and that is all they need.
That may be harder for us to understand, as most of us are travelers on here, or at least aspiring travelers (like me), but happiness and the roads we take can take many forms and many different paths. And these paths can mean different things to each of us.
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Post by htmb on Jul 8, 2014 8:40:10 GMT
We make big and little decisions each and every day as we interact with the world around us. I've often thought about this thread, and have come back to it a few times, only to leave without posting. I tend to not look back with regrets about roads not taken. The past is what it is, and makes us who were are at the moment. And certainly each and every new decision has an impact on our future. So here's a bit about my story and the major deviation I took from the path I had been following to travel in a new and more hopeful direction.
In 2006, I made a huge decision to change my life. I was miserable and my home was not the safe and comfortable space it should be. I chose to leave a thirty-three year marriage that had been good and solid for a very long time, but had later turned to unpleasantness and control. The new path began as a long and difficult struggle, but certainly worth the turmoil generated when making the change. Almost immediately I was able to become a more honest person and could be myself, rather than striving to meet someone else's totally out-of-line expectations. My professional life flourished, and relationships with my children became even stronger.
It hasn't been an easy road. Many of the things, places, and people I had in my life before were completely lost to me, but it was worth it to give all of that up. On the other hand, the tearing down and gradual rebuilding of my life has led me to a variety of new experiences. For instance, while I had traveled a good bit before, mainly in the United States, and had lived in a couple of major cities due to my husband's earlier occupation, I had never done so by myself for any significant period of time. I'm now in the last week of a month-long trip to France; a bit of it shared with friends old and new, most of it spent alone.
When I think back to the time of my decision, my ultimate goal was to find some peace in my life; something that had been missing for a very long time. I didn't even dare to think I could find happiness and contentment, but surprisingly enough it looks like that's exactly what has happened.
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Post by bjd on Jul 8, 2014 11:32:56 GMT
Good for you, htmb. Sorry that I wasn't able to meet up with you this time. It will have to be on another of your trips to France.
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Post by questa on Jul 8, 2014 14:22:38 GMT
Married for 13 years then a civilised, even amicable divorce. I bought his share of the house and raised 2 boys on my own. When they left home I had only my job to keep me going. A change of managers caused me to doubt my competence in anything.
A friend talked me into a holiday overseas...I never thought I would ever have the chance to do so. I chose to go to Burma because it was a mystery. Friend suggested I included Thailand as well.
On that trip, aged 50, I got the travel bug and, once home again, started planning for Vietnam the next year. So year after year I have travelled to all the places I have talked about here.
When I was thinking whether or not to lease the restaurant in Bali I realised, "If I do it I might regret it, if I don't do it I'll regret it forever". That has become my mantra for decision making now.
I had my 60th birthday working as a volunteer in Lombok and trying to master riding a motor scooter. My 70th found me veiled in Iran visiting Persepolis and other Persian wonders.
In a few days I will be 72. No longer able to do the back packing journeys but still able to fly to magic places and meet interesting people and see new worlds. My world changed forever when I sat in my seat in the jumbo jet and was told to "fasten your seat belt"...it has been a fabulous ride, so far.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 8, 2014 14:48:18 GMT
questa, you are my inspiration.
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Post by mossie on Jul 8, 2014 16:29:12 GMT
You all make me think about myself. Since my wife died I seem to have become an entirely different person. Being married for 55 years left its mark but now the bonds have been released and I can do things I could not have dared to before.
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Post by htmb on Jul 8, 2014 19:17:15 GMT
Good for you, htmb. Sorry that I wasn't able to meet up with you this time. It will have to be on another of your trips to France. Will look forward to it, bjd!
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Post by bjd on Jul 8, 2014 19:33:08 GMT
Me too, htmb.
Questa, you sound like a lot of fun. I find it great that you go to interesting countries and get out and do things. Happy Birthday!
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Post by Deleted on Jul 8, 2014 20:36:34 GMT
I think there are quite a few of us who have a lot of catching up to do.
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Post by questa on Jul 8, 2014 23:27:39 GMT
Thank you, good people, you are all so affirming. There were always the critics and 'misery-guts' who said I would have no savings for retirement, was worrying my sons, was taking too many risks, was too old to go gadding about etc.
My boys knew I was aware of my limits. One son is a champion rally driver, the other a rope hanging rock climber. They understood that they alone were responsible for any mess they got into and so did I.
Thinking about the 'might happens' means you go in fully prepared...worrying about it is a useless pastime. A sense of humour and ability to be patient is essential.
Mossie, We should have met years ago, could have had some ripping yarns from travelling together. I always wanted a pet dinosaur.
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Post by mossie on Jul 9, 2014 15:54:59 GMT
Ah Questa, there's an offer I can't refuse. Make sure you build a good comfortable cage. XX
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Post by htmb on Jul 9, 2014 16:48:22 GMT
Make it a strong cage, Questa. Mossie is a bit of an animal, especially now that he's back to running up and down the hills of Paris.
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Post by questa on Jul 9, 2014 23:13:39 GMT
Oh...he is not a T-rex dinosaur...he is a pterodactyl and sits on my shoulder like a parrot on a pirate. When we get bushed (lost) he flies up and checks out the land, then tells me where we should go. He scares all the brigands away, but when we come to market towns we put on a show in the square where people pay to see such a wise talking fellow. He doesn't need a cage because is happy travelling with a companion like me.
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Post by htmb on Oct 22, 2014 0:07:20 GMT
I had a job opportunity pop up out of the blue about ten days ago and, though I have been gradually working my way towards retirement, for a couple of days I actually considered applying for the position. I don't know if I would have been offered the job, but I certainly would have been qualified. On the positive or negative side, depending on how you looked at it, the job involved lots of travel within the U.S., a move to a large metropolitan area, occasional trips abroad, and a significant increase in pay. In my mind I made lists of pros and cons, and believed that "on paper" the advantages and disadvantages were just about equal. I had only heard about the position three days before the deadline, and since the application was quite detailed I set aside a whole day to get everything done. Two days later when it came time to apply, I decided the new job wasn't for me at this point in my life, ditched the application, and went for a long hike in the woods instead.
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Post by htmb on Nov 21, 2014 3:32:33 GMT
Now that my daughter is moving to New York I'm kinda kicking myself for not applying for the above referenced job which is also based in NYC. I'm also thinking I will soon regret tying up much of my summer, when I could instead be exploring New York. Plus, I now find myself back in the pet business, as it appears I will (willingly) have my daughter's dog until April. I feel like I'm in the middle of what we called in Atlanta "spaghetti junction" where several roads meet all in one spot and you have to work hard to sort out the right path.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 21, 2014 5:35:04 GMT
Not only has your bird flown the next, you are also not supposed to go on working forever.
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Post by mossie on Nov 21, 2014 14:48:07 GMT
Seen on a Parisian footpath
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Post by htmb on Nov 21, 2014 15:20:23 GMT
Not only has your bird flown the next, you are also not supposed to go on working forever. My bird flew the nest over eight years ago and, while we both have our own lives, we also enjoy each other's company and support. When told what I am "supposed" to do my typical reaction has always been to question "authority." At this point in my life I think I'm supposed to do what I want, within the limits of what I can afford, and in seeking what's best for my health and wellbeing. Having said all that blather, I'm positive I won't go on working forever, at least not in my current job. Nice sign, Mossie.
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