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Post by Deleted on Oct 22, 2009 16:51:43 GMT
Are hard to be around aren't they? I know a woman who, I admit, has had a lot of bad luck in her life, and as a result has ended up very bitter and jaded. She gossips about people who she hardly knows anything about, putting them in a bad light. She makes fun of and jokes about others in a cruel way. What makes people become like that? And yet others can go through life, with all it's hardship and still have compassion and understanding and decency?
I've come to the conclusion that I just can't be in her company anymore, no matter how sorry I might feel for her and what she has been through. Some people are just too hard to be near.
What do you think?
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Post by Deleted on Oct 22, 2009 17:20:04 GMT
There is an interesting French term that is usually applied to bitter old women, but which can exceptionally be applied to men and to younger people if they really qualify. I don't think it is necessary to translate it: pisse-vinaigre
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Post by Deleted on Oct 22, 2009 17:25:21 GMT
;D Good one, Kerouac.
Seriously though, I don't know why some get in that kind of rut, if you could call it that. It's almost like a block they have that they can't quite get over. They can't be happy in themselves either being that way? Kind of sad really. They are unhappy so they need to make someone else unhappy and it still doesn't make them any happier anyway. Does that make sense?
She just drains the life right out of me, just by being near her.
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Post by tillystar on Oct 22, 2009 20:16:16 GMT
I agree it is sad, but difficult to be around. I just want to give them a good shake and say "get the hell over it. Be nice" There is a certain kind of woman (and it is usually a woman) that I call "bitter lips" they purse their lips disapprovingly at everything and if you smile at them in the street they give you a surprised look and shrug their shoulders haughtily because you are a strange person to be going around smiling at strangers. They roll their eyes at each other when a young person struggles onto the bus with lots of bags and dares say "excuse me" (but of course barge everyone out of the way as it is their right). Ooops, I think I sound almost bitter about "bitter lips" ladies ;D
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Post by Deleted on Dec 11, 2009 17:35:10 GMT
"bitter lips" ladies, you're so funny, Tilly. Talking about being jaded. I'm a member of a forum where the people are mostly in their 20's, a few a little older, but not many, and most are American. What surprises me is just how mature, and thoughtful and honest they are. What happens to people as they get older? Do the hardships of life take all that goodness out of us? Not many seem to escape from losing something that is so good in young people and replacing it with a hard, cynical and negative attitude towards life. Just a random thought...
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Post by Deleted on Dec 11, 2009 17:36:42 GMT
I really like being around teenagers and people in their 20's, so refreshing.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 11, 2009 17:39:40 GMT
Yes, when you come across a (very rare) bitter young person, they are generally a psycho, but for some reason we can't classify older bitter people the same way and just think "they must have had a hard life."
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Post by Deleted on Dec 11, 2009 17:43:39 GMT
Kerouac, you know I'm always trying my best to be polite.
Older bitter people psychos? Oh yeah, probably many are. Hard to tell sometimes.
It's just good to be around young people, (both in my everyday life and on that forum), who are not hardened up to life as yet, that still have their hearts and minds open, like I said, it's refreshing.
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Post by fumobici on Dec 11, 2009 19:44:13 GMT
I recently had a close work associate who was a bitter old fuck die. Talk about mixed emotions. About half my social friends are significantly younger than I am and yes, it's a nice change from people closer to my own age who oftimes seem to me to be less open to life's infinite possibilities.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 11, 2009 21:20:22 GMT
Most of my friends are about 15 years younger than I, but the bad thing about that is that they will come to me for advice whenever there is a serious situation, as though I were actually 15 years wiser.
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Post by bazfaz on Dec 11, 2009 21:31:47 GMT
Most of my friends are about 15 years younger than I, but the bad thing about that is that they will come to me for advice whenever there is a serious situation, as though I were actually 15 years wiser. Maybe with your experience you are.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 11, 2009 21:48:29 GMT
baz, you are so cool. I can't stand to be around bitter people either fumobcic. Good job I'm surrounded by youngsters, they keep my feet firmly on the ground. Who need all that bullshite that seems to creep on some people as they get older?
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Post by hwinpp on Dec 12, 2009 2:32:34 GMT
All my friends here are older than me, by 15- 20 years. They are a lot mellower and some more worldly wise than me, much more cynical too, I suppose. I don't think I know any bitter people here, they don't have a reason to be bitter.
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Post by traveler63 on Dec 12, 2009 11:00:05 GMT
Deyana:
You made a comment about some person having bad luck. I don't believe in bad luck, I think that it equates more logically with bad choices. I have a brother who my mom always said poor Steve had such bad luck. Actually he was and still is to a certain point, irresponsible. He had a drug problem, has a drinking problem, first marriage was to a coke head, 2 kids from her. His second marriage, well she is a nut case. Won't go any further because I think you get the idea. All of these choices has made him a bitter person and I also think bitter people are so into themselves that they can't interact with people around them. It is too bad, because in the final analysis, they are alone.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 12, 2009 12:34:37 GMT
Good points there t63. I'm a strong believer in that we all make our own luck. Life can be hard for many of us, but it's what we do with it and how we handle it that counts.
I also think bitter people are so into themselves that they can't interact with people around them. It is too bad, because in the final analysis, they are alone.
I so agree with that statement.
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Post by existentialcrisis on Dec 13, 2009 13:28:37 GMT
I agree with T63 - I think that you generate what comes to you. Bitter people have made bad decisions, and/or have dealt with bad outcomes badly. Life is too big and good to put up with bitter people. And thank you Deyana for faith in us 20-some year olds... (though I'm soon approaching 30) ... I have so say, I know plenty of bitter early 20s folks. I think anyone can become bitter, through a midunderstanding of life and of themselves.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 13, 2009 18:24:23 GMT
You're welcome existential.
*sigh* I wish I was in my 20's again.
Life is too good to waste time on bitter people, I think we can all agree with that.
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