Readers Digest and all those prizes

[Deleted]

Does anyone else subscribe to Readers Digest? I do and I enjoy reading their monthly magazine. I also do the prize draws that they always send...and keep sending.

Anyway today I have a 'special letter' from them, some of what it says:

....The reason I bring it to your attention is because you could soon be confirmed as the sole winner of $30,500.00 Cash On Demand Prize Draw...

..that's why we've enclosed a Winners, Frequently Asked Questions fact report...For instance: Would you like us to courier you an immediately cashable cheque for the total sum of $30,500.00....or wire transfer of funds to the financial institution of your choice in ........... etc. etc.

So if I win, what should I do with it? I think a new ATV for starters sound good.

[Deleted]

Deyana, you are going to be so jealous, since the Reader's Digest sent me a letter today as well, because they are promising me 550,000 euros, which I am sure to win because fewer than 1% of the finalists have reached the same stage that I have. There is even an additional cheque attached "waiting to be paid" filled out in my name for 28,000 euros if I write to them in 8 days. And I also have a "certificate of delivery in case of winning" which says "Mr. Kerouac, you have won a Mazda 6. Our services have authorized delivery of the vehicle directly to your address. Please be present to take possession of your new car."

I am going to have trouble sleeping tonight, but mostly because I am worried sick about why Deyana has been offered such a piddling little prize compared to me.

[Deleted]

No fair!

After all that frigging ticking and licking the stamps on all those colorful cards, all I get is 35/T! I wanted the million, who the heck is getting that?!

Arr...but you don't understand my friend, THIS really is the final, final final. Apparently I will get it all next week. I'm waiting with baited breath. And yes, I'll have sleepless nights just thinking about it. ;D

[Deleted]

I'll buy you a beer if you win instead of me.

[Deleted]

Done!

And if you win instead of me, I'd expect you to take me to New York for the weekend.