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Post by spindrift on Apr 17, 2010 18:21:28 GMT
Deyana - I agree with all you've said above....
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Post by Deleted on Apr 19, 2010 15:07:41 GMT
Thanks, Spinny. It's all just common sense I guess.
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Post by Kimby on Apr 20, 2010 16:34:21 GMT
There's an article in the April 16th Wall Street Journal in which a book called The Art of Choosing by Sheena Iyengar is reviewed. online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702304510004575186162144526170.html?KEYWORDS=The+Art+of+Choosing+by+Sheena+IyengarAlthough the article is about choices and having too many of them and the mere fact of all those choices making us less happy in the long run, the example she uses to illustrate her theory is arranged marriages in India: Which marriage system is better? So-called love marriages—the romantic, Western kind—are increasingly common in India, though not always to good effect. Ms. Iyengar discusses a study suggesting that Indians who married for love were indeed more in love with their spouses at the outset of their married lives, but their ardor gradually cooled, whereas Indians who married by arrangement grew to love each other more as time went on. At the 10-year point, the "love couples" were considerably less in love than the arranged couples—to the extent that love can be measured by a questionnaire. Three-quarters of today's Indian college students, the author notes, say that they would marry someone they didn't love, but only 15% of Americans feel the same way.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 20, 2010 20:19:36 GMT
Some good points there, Kimby. And as I mentioned earlier on in this thread, that is how many people do think. That you marry someone, and then grow to love them afterwards - and they beleive this is the kind of love that lasts. There is something in that... if it works out that way.
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Post by Kimby on Apr 20, 2010 22:08:25 GMT
Passionate vs. companionate love.
What's left after the flames die down? How compatible are you once you're not lusting after each other's bodies 24 hours a day? Do you have common values, similar interests, shared goals and dreams?
If you've ever seen that stoopid but addicting show on American TV, The Bachelor, he always ends up picking the one he has "chemistry" with over the one who is perfect for him but just not quite as exciting. These "engagements" never seem to last very long. And sometimes the guy comes crawling back to the one he rejected asking for a second chance....
Marry in haste, repent in leisure.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 20, 2010 22:24:32 GMT
What's left after the flames die down? How compatible are you once you're not lusting after each other's bodies 24 hours a day? Do you have common values, similar interests, shared goals and dreams?
More good points. However I do love the passionate/lusting after each other's bodies 24 hours a day period. It's nice to have both isn't it though? To be best friends, have things in common and be passionate about each other too?
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Post by Kimby on Apr 20, 2010 22:59:09 GMT
Great if you can find it. In a long marriage (if 25 years counts as long - our parents have been married for 65 years and still in love), passion and friendship can ebb and flow. Sometimes you're hot for each other, sometimes you'd rather sleep. Sometimes you really enjoy hanging out together, other times you tear your hair out in frustration. Fortunately, when one ebbs the other often flows. Ever heard of kiss and make up? (Also known as make-up sex.)
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Post by Deleted on Apr 20, 2010 23:06:56 GMT
Ever heard of kiss and make up? (Also known as make-up sex.)
Oh yes definitely. Sometimes it's the best kind.
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