Growing up or just growing old?

[Deleted]

Here's an interesting article about adults and maturity levels. It's a little detailed, but worth reading through.

Quote:

Maturity isn't an award given to good children. Some people develop maturity, others avoid it. Mature people can cope with marriage, illness, divorce, parenthood, careers and unemployment. When mature people want help - they find help quickly. See Emotional Intelligence and Emotional Maturity 2.

Also:

Immature adults seek toys, games and substitutes for parents. When immature people want help (often) they act like needy children or victims. Immature people need mature mentors and self-esteem but seek shallow relationships and gratification. See Codependence and Coaching Young Adults.

A sign of maturity is believing you're right without needing to make others wrong.

Much more in this link here:

www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/emotional_maturity.htm


Any thoughts on this?

[Deleted]

Maturity is such a strange thing since it seems that just about everybody feels the same as they did when they were something like 25, even if they are now 45 or 55 or 75. They just feel that their bodies have grown older and that they have learned to mask their feelings better. For example, just about all parents, remembering how their parents seemed so sure about things and were so reassuring, just imitate how their parents behaved but still feel completely unsure of their actions inside, like an 18 year old in a 40 year old body. It's all an act.

The only thing that I am sure of, growing older, is that I am less willing to put up with total shit. And yet I will remain silent most of the time. And then I will methodically take very specific action about that with which I disagree.

[spaceneedle]

I think that growing older teaches you humility and the power of saying you are sorry even when you know you are right. Also, it's like I've posted before, you learn to fight the battles you can win.

[Deleted]

I learned much more hypocrisy as I grew older, but now it appears to be wearing off.

[Deleted]

hmmm....well I guess I leaned that as people grow older, some don't necessarily grow any wiser. some grow more bitter, more cagey, more dishonest and yes, more hypocritical. There are a few who bypass this, but not many.

spaceneedle yes, I have become softer in my views and have more empathy/sympathy than I used to have when younger. I do my best to stay out of any battles at all, I'm not a fighter. But if I have to fight for something then, I do my best to make sure I win. Like you said, pick the battles that you know you can win, or that are worth fighting for.

[fumobici]

There is a wisdom that comes with age but it's probably no better than the wisdom of youth which is less recognized. Looking at voting preferences by age demographic, a good case can be made that aging is just mental decay.

[Deleted]

With the current events in France, it is interesting to see the reactions to the concept of high school students involved in protest marches concerning retirement. Some people think that it is unbelieveable that they could care about such a thing, and therefore their only interest is getting out of classes while they play revolutionaries.

I completely understand why high school (and university) students are extremely concerned by the current situation. This is probably the first generation in history to be told that they will work harder and longer than their parents and that their lives will be worse rather than better. If that isn't a reason to revolt, I don't know what is.

And yet people say they are "immature" and should just shut up.

[Deleted]

The young people of today are not all immature, in many ways they have had to grow up a lot faster than past generations. They are not blind to what goes in their world today.

Which current events are you referring to, Kerouac?

[Deleted]

France is in the throes of a major social conflict regarding retirement age.

[Kimby]

Spoiled brats, those French workers! They act like retirement at age 60 is a God-given right, when it was a Mitterrand-granted privilege not that many years ago, when he decreased the retirement age from 65 to 60.

Meanwhile Americans are watching their retirement age go up from 65 to 67 to ? And our "pension" (Social Security) is nowhere near enough to live on without supplemental income. Hence the august "Walmart greeters" who should really be rocking on the front porch, or in a fishing boat, instead of pulling down minimum wage (which also isn't enough to live on).

Grumble, grumble.

[tod2]

I was amused this morning as I watched Sarko tell his French public that today's generation will probably live to be 100 years old and that gave them plenty of time for retirement! I love the way he did "the French shoulder shrug" : This is how you do it - Look grim, stare ahead and say what you want to say but end it with a shrug and at the same time turn your mouth downwards! Do this several times even repeating what you have just said.

[Deleted]

Oct 22, 2010 14:05:35 GMT Kimby said:

Meanwhile Americans are watching their retirement age go up from 65 to 67 to ? And our "pension" (Social Security) is nowhere near enough to live on without supplemental income. Hence the august "Walmart greeters" who should really be rocking on the front porch, or in a fishing boat, instead of pulling down minimum wage (which also isn't enough to live on).

Grumble, grumble.

Yep, I've noticed that too, Kimby. It's got to be a new trend. I don't remember seeing so many older people working at walmart in the past. Greeting people, checking the doors etc. And they really look like they should be retired, some can hardly walk properly, let alone stand. It's sad. I often wonder about it.

[Deleted]

One of the things that set the French off was seeing how easily the government could find hundreds of billions of euros to bail out the banks while the deficit for French retirement benefits is "only" 10 billion euros. Why must old and tired people pay for this?

[myrt]

It's a very rough world for millions of people and always has been IMO....the most fortunate of the so called First World countries are just getting a reality check atm.....we don't, any of us, have a divine right to the kind of life progression that we are led to expect - birth, education, work, the acquisition of wealth in whatever form, retirement and a peaceful old age and death - wouldn't it be great if it were thus for everyone?
The world is run by corrupt institutions/corporations/governments and it has always been so. I LOVE that the French students still have the gumption to stand up and shout - so few people do now.....if Growing Up means becoming tired, disillusioned and accepting rubbish governments then it really is Getting Old and giving up.....
Sorry...trying to get back on topic.......... I think growing up is really a process of sorting out what things you can accept or tolerate and what things you really will not stand for...and finding a way to live your life that allows you to do that. And learning to find pleasure in the really simple joys of being alive. Not easy....keep breathing and use your senses - that's enough for me most of the time!