Feel like shit for only 0.53€!

[Deleted]

This evening I went to the Chinese supermarket to get some extremely urgent cilantro, pork belly, beer and a few other necessities of life.

Checkout was long and slow, and just ahead of me was a little boy of African origin, perhaps 6 years old, buying a box of ice cream treats (something or other on a stick). However, when the cashier scanned the item, it came up at 2.43€ and the little boy was clutching only 1.90€ in his hand.

While Chinese cashiers are generally without mercy, even this one seemed upset by the situation, and the little boy had big wet eyes, just like the cat in Shrek. This ice cream might have been his dinner, because lots of African women work as cleaners or whatever until 10pm or even later. He was fending for himself.

The cashier remembered that she could be fired on the spot for accepting an underpayment. I was already reaching into my pocket for the missing amount of 0.53€. It was certainly nothing to me, and I was getting ready to buy about 20€ worth of not really necessary crap.

But my hand froze as I wondered "Is this condescending behavior?" "Is this the proper example to give a small child?" "Should poor people be taught to live within their means?" -- etc. And I decided that I should not supply the missing money.

The cashier called over "the man with the key" to cancel the operation and gave the coins back to the little boy. The box of ice cream was carried away to the freezer case. The little boy just stood there not really understanding what had just happened. Had he just lost his dinner, his greatly desired treat?

The cashier moved on to my items, ignoring the little boy. But an African man from the next lane came over to supply the missing money. The ice cream was brought back, the proper amount was paid, and the little boy left the store with his treasure.

My frozen hand in my pocket called me a racist, a xenophobe, a miser, a generally bad person for not having paid. The African man probably earns minimum wage and 0.53€ might be a lot of money for him, but he did the generous act, even if the kid should have maybe been eating something else.

I was just the guy with a pocketful of useless money who didn't help when I could have done so.

[imec]

Very tough call - there's no right answer IMO.

[Deleted]

I agree with imec. It's hard to know what to do in such a situation. I know that I would have given the cashier the extra money, and actually have done such things in the past.

But you still get that thought in the back of your mind of 'is it the right thing to do?'

I remember as a kid in the UK (I must have been 5 or 6), my mother sent me to the corner store to buy something. I was about 4 pennies too short, and the woman refused to give me the item I wanted, and an elderly man who was at the store at the time offered to pay the extra for me. But the owner just looked at me sternly and told me to go home, She refused the old man's offer of 4 pennies. She was a racist though, was known for it. Not only that but I found out that she was over charging me anyway....

But, you are not any of those things, Kerouac. So don't worry about it too much.

[Jazz]

There is no 'right' answer...but I would have given the little boy the money. I'm not sure that his small purchase required such deep philosophic inquiry. You're not alone, we've all done things that we feel mean about afterwards. Most significent is this...when all is said and done, you are a kind and generous man.

(I can tell you how to feel like shit for 0.0E)

[spindrift]

So on 1st May you can make up for any imagined misdemeanour by not forgetting to buy two buches of lillies-of-the-valley ....one for your mother and the other for the lonely French/Russian lady in the nursing home.

K - you're a good man. We've known you for some time so we know this.

[onlymark]

A few years ago I was standing with my full trolley at the checkout of a local supermarket in the UK. It was quite busy. A little old lady with half a dozen items came and asked if she could go before me, naturally I said yes.
The cashier rang up her purchases but the old lady was just over a pound short, mainly because of a packet of nice biscuits. The cashier was quite abrupt with the old lady and I slipped my hand into my pocket and put the extra money down. The cashier hesitated but took it, finished the transaction and the old lady said thanks to me then went away whilst I loaded my trolley full.

I mentioned to the cashier that the poor old lady probably hasn't got much of a pension, the cashier told me, "Probably not, but that's the second time this week she played that trick and she does it regularly."
I'd been suckered.

[spindrift]

Oh dear! so scams don't just happen in India ;D

[tillystar]

I guess there is no right answer but I am another one that would have given the money and have in similiar ciumstances.

Not so long ago a well-dressed and clearly not hard-up lady get on a bus and hadn't realised her travel pass was out of date and the driver wouldn't change a ten pound note. I paid her bus fare to save her going and getting change and waiting for another bus (someone did a similiar favour to me about a week later so I felt a bit like some bus fare karma was at play).

I know exactly where you are coming from on need to learn thing but then I think why should someone not receive an act of kindness because I judge them to be poor and needing to learn a lesson. I didn't think "Oh well she can clearly needs to learn a lesson to be more organised and remember to check her travel pass".

But don't waste time feeling mean, apart from because you aren't, but also because the boy won't be bothered by who paid for his ice cream. He'd probably forgotten all about it by the time he had it smeared round his face.

[Deleted]

I paid 1.15€ the other day to allow an old woman to buy a case of cat food. I imagined her cat herd swarming over her and devouring her if she returned to her hovel empty handed.

[Deleted]

Thanks for calling attention to this thread, K, I would never have found it.

Hard calls all around, but I would probably have reached into my pocket even if the old lady had pulled the biscuit trick before. Old people and kids, they'll get me everytime. The little African kid would have broken my heart.

Beggars: my weakness in Vancouver is for aboriginal people. If I have any to spare (and these days, with cashless banking and my own financial problems, I often don't) I'll give something to older native people, especially women. There by the grace, etc... But when I do, I engage them in conversation, ask their name, wish them a good day.

[Kimby]

I once forked over a couple $1 bills for a woman who was a dollar-something short at the checkout. The checker handed her the change and she was gone before I realized the change probably should have been returned to me.
No big deal, she probably needed it more than I did. And maybe in her flustered state she pocketed the change in a hurry without thinking about it.