|
|
Post by onlymark on Jun 12, 2010 12:32:56 GMT
Baz had me thinking about guests you have to stay. There are good ones and bad ones. I'm obviously not interested in the good ones, but tell me about the bad ones, if you'd like to share.
Why were they invited?
Have you invited them again?
What did they do, or not do, that irritated you?
Apart from a couple who came to stay with us in the Philippines who had two misbehaving children, and she lazed around all day in the bedroom reading magazines whilst they ran riot, the worst regular guest we have (and I know it is a cliché) is my mother in law.
Not only is she very picky with her food, she interferes with the way we raise our kids (usual thing really), she is totally disorganised, cooks food none of us like when she is able to, doesn't eat what we cook, loses everything (including our stuff we lend her like a mobile phone), complains it is too hot/too cold, too dirty, etc etc.
But the worst thing is she winds up my wife on purpose, makes derogatory comments about her to the kids and to her face, but for some reason loves me and thinks I'm a saint.
The very worst was the Christmas before last when she was here, as was my father, and the very first day she said something to make my wife not speak to her for the next two weeks.
Christmas dinner was lovely. Not.
|
|
|
|
Post by lagatta on Jun 12, 2010 12:57:09 GMT
Some of those things sound sterotypically nasty. My mum has always been beastly to me while being the perfect lady to all other people on the planet - this is a rather typical dynamic among mums of her generation and daughters of mine - fortunately I find things seem to have changed for the better between many middle-aged mums and their daughters. But others make me wonder how old she is and if she could be "losing it" a bit? Or perhaps she is just a mess, and inflicts it on you because she can. She could never get away with such behaviour in the workplace, or a non-related social group.
|
|
|
|
Post by palesa on Jun 12, 2010 14:52:42 GMT
The worst two for me are my brother's girlfriend, she is a lazy arse and expects me to do everything except wipe her arse when she is here. Luckily they don't visit too often.
And a friend's husband, he smokes, and my request for him to not smoke in the house results in him using my toaster or stove to light his cigarette take a few drags and then go and stand outside the kitchen door where the smoke just floats into the kitchen.
|
|
|
|
Post by spindrift on Jun 12, 2010 15:04:55 GMT
Bad guests? I cannot think of any bad guests.
|
|
|
|
Post by bazfaz on Jul 2, 2010 8:48:22 GMT
I watched my (ex) mother-in-law carefully brush all the breadcrumbs on the dining table into a neat little heap - then with one swipe put them on the floor.
|
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 2, 2010 9:04:45 GMT
Oh, I thought we were already going to hear about your next visitors.  |
|
|
|
Post by spindrift on Jul 2, 2010 10:21:20 GMT
Ahem!..... I am the next visitor!
|
|
|
|
Post by bazfaz on Jul 2, 2010 10:26:42 GMT
Ahem!..... I am the next visitor! Sorry Spindrift, get back in line. The mayor of Wallingford where we lived in England is coming with his wife next week. Then 2 grandchildren come (and they'll still be here when you visit). |
|
|
|
Post by spindrift on Jul 2, 2010 10:43:20 GMT
oh! didn't mean to be pushy!
|
|
|
|
Post by bixaorellana on Jul 2, 2010 13:53:33 GMT
SEE ~~ she is already trying to be a bad guest! ;D
|
|
|
|
Post by bazfaz on Jul 2, 2010 14:49:50 GMT
SEE ~~ she is already trying to be a bad guest! ;D No, she is an exemplary guest (except for complaining the oysters were too big). |
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 2, 2010 17:03:38 GMT
Maybe the Lot oysters will be smaller.
|
|
|
|
Post by bazfaz on Jul 2, 2010 17:57:44 GMT
The oysters certainly won't come from the Med, most likely Arcachon.
|
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 2, 2010 18:13:18 GMT
|
|
|
|
Post by bazfaz on Jul 2, 2010 20:48:50 GMT
Not when I last went there (45 years ago).
|
|
|
|
Post by spindrift on Jul 3, 2010 10:00:03 GMT
Bixa - ;D..... Baz - we're only coming for afternoon tea...so you needn't feel you have to produce oysters of any size  As it is, I have to steel my nerves to deal with Maurice's whelks. How I loathe them. |
|
|
|
Post by lola on Jul 3, 2010 14:20:55 GMT
This thread makes me feel I need more frequent guests, so by law of averages I can have more bad ones.
|
|
|
|
Post by bazfaz on Jul 3, 2010 14:26:16 GMT
Spindrift, are you afraid of Maurice? Tell him you are not eating his horrible whelks. You refused to eat more than one of my oysters (how Grecian and I suffered trying to divvy up 5 extra oysters between the two of us).
|
|
|
|
Post by spindrift on Jul 3, 2010 16:27:10 GMT
Baz - do you seriously think I am afraid of ANYONE?  Maurice prepares whelks for himself; I eat the oysters  Have you ever smelled whelks cooking? they also make the fridge stink. I suspect M buys them just to tease me. |
|
|
|
Post by bazfaz on Jul 3, 2010 17:14:19 GMT
When I have a platter of seafood whelks are the one thing I don't bother with.
|
|
|
|
Post by spindrift on Jul 11, 2010 8:43:18 GMT
I guessed correctly - whelks were put on the table for lunch on my first day. He's just a schoolboy really. See you tomorrow Baz!  |
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 29, 2010 10:43:03 GMT
Once, when my brother and his second wife were visiting my parents on the other side of the country, one of the first things she asked was "what do you have for breakfast here?" So my mother explained that it was variable -- sometimes they might fix some toast, muffins, cereal was an option, maybe some sweet rolls sometimes, etc. To this, the daughter-in-law asked to borrow the car so that she could go buy some necessities for herself and her husband since there was nothing suitable. Not even the orange juice was good enough -- she needed tangerine juice.
Things went downhill from the first day onwards.
|
|
|
|
Post by betsie on Sept 25, 2010 21:36:40 GMT
Yeah, I had a guest from hell a few years ago, an American woman. We had met up in Paris the year before and had a great time. I could see she was crazy, but she seemed crazy in a fun way, so when she asked me if she could stay here for a week on her next tour of Europe I was happy to invite her.
She (let's call her Miss Piggy) travelled with a friend of hers (let's call her Servant Girl) and I quickly discovered that their relationship was one of prima donna and lady's maid. Miss Piggy had tantrums and made servant Girl cry all the time. Miss Piggy had made the plastic surgeon a rich man: she'd had cheek implants put in and her lips were so full of silicone they looked as if they were about to pop, like nasty boils. She wore a long blond wig and her age was her most preciously guarded secret.
On the evening of their arrival we made quite an evening of it and I took some lovely group pix. Next day I discovered she'd deleted all my pix because she thought she didn't look glamorous enough on them. I was gobsmacked, and she barked, "they were crap pix, END OF STORY!"
She started using my computer without permission, was online from 7 AM till she went to bed and really f*cked my computer. I kept switching it off; she just entered my study and switched it on again. I had to take my computer in for a service after they'd gone.
I took them to a historic city, where I'd reserved a lovely suite in a 17th century hotel. All she had to say was, "no air-no air!" I thought she was having an asthma attack until I realised she meant there was no air conditioning (it was autumn and 15C, lol!)
On the way to visit my daughter, who lives in the same city, she fell down and damaged her teeth. My daughter made an appointment for her with an emergency dentist. Then Miss Piggy said to cancel it, she was flying home immediately. Then she changed her mind and we phoned the dentist again. He asked for her details, which we gave him, then he asked for her age. A long silence fell, then she limped with the phone into the WC so she could divulge her secret to him in private. We ordered a taxi to take us to the dentist and I asked her if she needed to go to a cash point to get the money for the dentist (emergency treatment costs maximally 150 euros). She flipped: "I haven't got that kind of money, cancel the appointment!" And this from a woman who was paying 350 euros per night for hotels in Paris and Rome. To my horror, I discovered she was travelling without health insurance!
She kept us awake half the night, shouting into the phone to her friends and family in the US. Back at my place, she kept saying she thought her shoulder was broken but wouldn't go to see a doctor. She and Servant girl used my home like a hotel, chatting upstairs or on my computer, while I sat downstairs like a bloody butler, waiting to cater to their needs.
On their last evening I took the dishes into the kitchen after dinner and when I returned to the dining room, I discovered they had gone upstairs again without a damned word! I was steaming! At 8 oçlock Miss Piggy shouted down the stairs, "goodnight, Betsie, I'm off to bed now."
She needed her sleep of course, because, regular as clockwork, she was on the phone at 2AM shouting and laughing with people in the US. I got out of bed and told her, "for Christ's sake, let me get one night's unbroken sleep!" I was just at the end of my tether. ;D
|
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 25, 2010 21:41:30 GMT
I am happy to award you the BAD GUEST FROM HELL special grand prize.  |
|
|
|
Post by betsie on Sept 25, 2010 21:50:48 GMT
|
|
|
|
Post by Jazz on Sept 25, 2010 22:35:24 GMT
Betsie, my congratulaions on receiving the Bad Guest From Hell Award. You have outdone Baz and Polish Maria!
You have also received my minor but special Patience beyond all Provocation award. I would have asked her to leave day 2.
|
|
|
|
Post by onlymark on Sept 26, 2010 5:52:22 GMT
Bad guests are one thing, but what about bad hosts?
This is the other side of the coin.
The times when you go somewhere and they are rude or whatever.
Nothing has really happened to me apart from minor things like when being greeted at the door the host led us in to the entrance hallway and just then stood there for the next fifteen minutes talking to us, never showed us through to the main rooms and we stood there in a small space, in the winter with our coats on. He seemed quite happy for us to just stand and chat whilst we gradually got hotter and hotter.
I eventually said, 'Well, if we're staying we better take our coats off. If not then we'll be seeing you'.
|
|
|
|
Post by betsie on Sept 26, 2010 7:58:49 GMT
Betsie, my congratulaions on receiving the Bad Guest From Hell Award. You have outdone Baz and Polish Maria! You have also received my minor but special Patience beyond all Provocation award. I would have asked her to leave day 2. Thank you, Jazz. That award of yours means a lot, because I felt very bad about the whole business. It was my home and I was the host, so one tries to remain graceful about things, since the guest is always at a disadvantage. But I did show my annoyance about the deletion of my photos very clearly, and I was outraged that somebody would travel without insurance and put me in that position. What would we have done if she's had a major accident or a heart attack? My partner, who is a very gentle soul, unlike me, was more outraged about the computer than anything else. Servant Girl told me I shouldn't be upset about their behaviour, she said that's the way they live back home: they never eat with their husbands and spend all their time doing their own things in other rooms than the sitting room. |
|
|
|
Post by betsie on Sept 26, 2010 9:45:50 GMT
Baz had me thinking about guests you have to stay. There are good ones and bad ones. I'm obviously not interested in the good ones, but tell me about the bad ones, if you'd like to share. Why were they invited? Have you invited them again? What did they do, or not do, that irritated you? Apart from a couple who came to stay with us in the Philippines who had two misbehaving children, and she lazed around all day in the bedroom reading magazines whilst they ran riot, the worst regular guest we have (and I know it is a cliché) is my mother in law. Not only is she very picky with her food, she interferes with the way we raise our kids (usual thing really), she is totally disorganised, cooks food none of us like when she is able to, doesn't eat what we cook, loses everything (including our stuff we lend her like a mobile phone), complains it is too hot/too cold, too dirty, etc etc.
But the worst thing is she winds up my wife on purpose, makes derogatory comments about her to the kids and to her face, but for some reason loves me and thinks I'm a saint.
The very worst was the Christmas before last when she was here, as was my father, and the very first day she said something to make my wife not speak to her for the next two weeks.
Christmas dinner was lovely. Not.Now that is a situation I would definitely not tolerate, Mark. I would have a serious talk with my mother and lay down the ground rules. If she didn't stick to them, I'd tell her she was no longer welcome in my home as a guest, since she was incapable of behaving like one. I would tell her that all future visits would be at her home, and that my wife would not be joining me on any visits. This is a game that a lot of mothers-in-law play; it is manipulative and destructive. There's a woman in our street who did that (though she claims she did nothing wrong). One day her son turned up and told her he and his wife never wanted to see her again, no meetings, no phone calls, no letters, nothing, ever again. No contact with the grandchildren either. I think this was very wrong of him, he should have protected his wife without breaking with his own mother. When she dies, he's going to be stuck with an emotional problem he'll never get over. His mother had a nervous breakdown from grief, but gradually leaned to accept it an get on with her life. When her grandson became one of my pupils, I gave her a photo of him from the school magazine and told her what a sweetie he was. She was ecstatic to see his face and hear about him. I didn't divulge anything personal of course, which would have been unprofessional. |
|
|
|
Post by betsie on Sept 26, 2010 9:57:47 GMT
Bad guests are one thing, but what about bad hosts? This is the other side of the coin. The times when you go somewhere and they are rude or whatever. Nothing has really happened to me apart from minor things like when being greeted at the door the host led us in to the entrance hallway and just then stood there for the next fifteen minutes talking to us, never showed us through to the main rooms and we stood there in a small space, in the winter with our coats on. He seemed quite happy for us to just stand and chat whilst we gradually got hotter and hotter. I eventually said, 'Well, if we're staying we better take our coats off. If not then we'll be seeing you'. ;D Maybe he wasn't used to having guests and was just paralysed with nervousness. We asked my partner's son and his girlfriend if we could stay overnight when we came down South for his birthday, since he was celebrating in the evening and we wouldn't be able to get home by train. He said OK, but we'd have to bring our own air-bed. Well, OK, I thought, though personally I'm always able to accommodate guests without them having to bring their own stuff. On the morning of our departure I was all ready to go, when we got a text message from him: "bring your own pillows as well!" I said, "f*ck it, I'm not going!" and my partner went alone. There's no way I was going to sit in a crowded train for 3 hours clutching pillows. If he'd mentioned it earlier, I would have given him 10 euros to go out and buy two cheap pillows. We were the only guests staying overnight, so he could have put himself out just a little bit, I feel.  |
|
