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Post by Deleted on Oct 26, 2010 7:10:44 GMT
The hair is thanks to the hairdresser. She's about to be 86. Thanks, tod.
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Post by fumobici on Oct 26, 2010 14:54:20 GMT
I'm actually quite glad and relieved to have read about your mother's significant improvement K. It's funny how emotional ties can form across the distances with so little to build on. You are a model and an inspiration for all of us.
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Post by Kimby on Oct 26, 2010 16:26:13 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 26, 2010 18:54:14 GMT
This situation getting exhausting. I called the hospital this morning at the appropriate time and received the following information: "We thought that she had recovered fine and were going to send her back to the nursing home today, but then we discovered major arrhymthia in her heartbeat. We have no space for her here, so she is being transferred to the Clinique du Parc Monceau to treat the condition." In the afternoon, I called the other place and they confirmed that she had arrived. I have nothing against this place, but it happens to be the clinic where my friend Donna died. Oh, they didn't kill her or anything -- she went there on purpose to die when she got fed up with dialysis. Nevertheless, I was not enthusiastic about returning there. Wait, that's not true. I had never been there -- Donna died the night before my first visit. But it was the same as returning there. I only left the office half an hour early today (bad son) because I had taken both Friday and Monday afternoon off. Luckily, the clinic is in a convenient location for me (more convenient than the hospital was). My mother was all wired up like my first transistor radio when I took the back cover off to look inside, but she stretched her arms out to me as soon as I opened the door. I quickly saw the orderlies and the nurses and finally the doctor (one of those teenage woman doctors, probably close to 30 but looking 16). "How long is my mother going to be here?" "Why do you ask?" I wanted to slap the bitch right then and there. "Because she wants to go back to her place." "Well," said the doctor, in an almost huffy tone, "we need to get her condition under control first." And no, she would not tell me 1 day, 2 days, 3 days.... Meanwhile, on that damned machine, my mother's cardiac rhythm was just fine when she was alone with me holding my hand, but the siren would go off every time those damned people walked into the room, and the numbers would change from green to red. Do you think they would understand that? No.... Then there was the dinner orderly. It was out of the question to let my mother eat by herself. The orderly had to sit there spooning everything in her mouth while informing me of my mother's eating habits. "The mashed potatoes first, because if I give her the fish, she won't eat it fast enough because it needs to be chewed." No French bread or bread of any kind. If there had been a piece of crusty bread on the plate, that would have been the first thing my mother would have wanted. Damn those know-it-all people. Tomorrow I'm going to stop in a boulangerie on the way to the clinic and buy a nice fresh demi-baguette and make sure that my mother is chewing on it when the orderly walks through the door. Apart from that, nice single room with flat screen TV. I think the official price list said 185€ a day "extra" but it is all covered by the health plan. I just have to get her out of there as fast as possible! (If I were taking her home, I could do it immediately, but naturally no nursing home would ever accept someone not properly discharged from a hospital or clinic.)
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Post by tod2 on Oct 27, 2010 6:53:36 GMT
Reading all the hassles you and your mother are going through Kerouac , you did make me laugh out loud when I came to this - "Tomorrow I'm going to stop in a boulangerie on the way to the clinic and buy a nice fresh demi-baguette and make sure that my mother is chewing on it when the orderly walks through the door". Hang in there!
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Post by Deleted on Oct 27, 2010 10:22:34 GMT
I've just read your last post, Kerouac. Seems like your you are really going through some difficult times with the situation with your mother. I can't blame you for wanting to get her out of there as soon as possible.
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Post by Kimby on Oct 27, 2010 17:51:14 GMT
kerouac, my sympathies are definitely with you. The folks at the hospital may know medicine, but they certainly don't know their patients. Not like a family member does. It doesn't sound like the staff at the new clinic is amenable to letting you be part of the team that is ostensibly working to get your Mom well again.
When Dad was in the hospital, I found the social worker to be my biggest ally. She actually seemed grateful for illuminating information I could provide as to Dad's pre-hospitalization condition. Does your clinic have social workers or the equivalent?
It's especially upsetting that your Mom has cognitive problems and may not be able to recognize that "those people" are actually trying to help her, not to hurt her....
Thinking of you and sending positive vibes your way. Please pop in and update us as you can.
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Post by tod2 on Oct 28, 2010 8:47:30 GMT
Some news and an update please Kerouac - Is you mother back home yet?
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Post by Deleted on Oct 28, 2010 9:53:28 GMT
Unfortunately, things are not going as I had hoped.
She seemed to me to be excellent yesterday, very alert and full of conversation. I saw that her personal items had been taken out of the closet and put on a table. Oh boy, I thought, maybe they're sending her back to the nursing home.
No such luck. "Your mother is being transferred to intensive care because she has a pulmonary embolism in both lungs."
Now she's in a little box room with machines all around.
She said that she was coming with me when I said I had to leave and I said she couldn't, and I abandoned her there.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 28, 2010 10:31:16 GMT
This must be so hard for you, Kerouac, and your poor mom.
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Post by mich64 on Oct 28, 2010 15:06:37 GMT
Hello Kerouac, you feel that you abandoned your mom, you would never ever do that...circumstances. I am so sorry the situation made you feel that way.
Two pulmonary embolism, that is difficult to read. Her lungs will absorb them but I know that is not what is important, it is where did they come from that is important and that is probably why they have to keep her, to determine this.
My brother-in-law was injured in Afghanistan two and half years ago. His legs were badly damaged and after one of his surgeries to repair 2 broken bones in one of his legs, he had clots from the leg that traveled from his leg through his heart and into his lungs. He survived both of these clots and remains on medication so that no more will release. If she is not already on, the will probably start administering cumodin or heparin.
I hope that when you see her next, her spirits are high and she smiles and reaches for you again.
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Post by mickthecactus on Oct 28, 2010 15:21:45 GMT
Kerouac, so sorry to hear all this.
You didn't abandon her mentally.
I had to abandon my mother many times when she went into one her rages against me. Sometimes you just can't stay. You've done nothing wrong.
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Post by spaceneedle on Oct 28, 2010 16:04:19 GMT
K2, So sorry to hear this about your mother. But the good news is that they discovered the PEs and can now treat them. They are EXTREMELY dangerous so I am so relieved they found them NOW. Someone close to me has had two of them and it is routine for a person with this diagnosis to be placed in intensive care so they can be watched carefully. They will likely put her on blood thinners via IV to help clear the clots. I am a semi expert on this so if you need any info, feel free to PM me.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 28, 2010 17:57:51 GMT
Yes, she is on IV thinners while also taking the pills that are supposed to kick in after a few days and replace the IV.
Actually, I am more upset about some of the little details of autonomy. She has always been able to eat independently. Otherwise there is no way that I would be able to still take her out to restaurants. But in hospitals, they just want to get the food in them, so they shovel it in. Yesterday I stopped them and my mother fed herself at dinner with no problem. But today when the tray arrived, she just looked at it and waited. So I ended up shoveling it in to her. I hated that.
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Post by Kimby on Oct 28, 2010 18:19:52 GMT
Kerouac, can you get "compassionate leave" from your work so that you can stay by Mom's side to defend her from the cretins who work at that hospital? Or maybe take early retirement, since you are so close to retiring anyway? Your Mom is so lucky to have you. And you're so lucky that she still knows and loves you and recognizes all you are doing for her.
Stay strong for Mom. Thanks for the update.
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Post by tod2 on Oct 28, 2010 18:21:34 GMT
There is a word used here in South Africa when you want to impart a word of encouragement - we say "sterkte'. Pronounced stairk - ta. It means stay strong. I am saying 'sterkte' to you
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Post by Deleted on Oct 28, 2010 18:25:23 GMT
Kerouac, can you get "compassionate leave" from your work so that you can stay by Mom's side to defend her from the cretins who work at that hospital? Or maybe take early retirement, since you are so close to retiring anyway? Your Mom is so lucky to have you. And you're so lucky that she still knows and loves you and recognizes all you are doing for her. Guess who has two weeks off starting Monday? This was planned some time ago, and I was actually hoping to go somewhere for a week. Guess not.
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Post by Kimby on Oct 28, 2010 18:29:48 GMT
You couldn't enjoy yourself on vacation for worry about Mum anyway. There will be time for trips when Mom is gone. Now you are making great use of a well-timed vacation...
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Post by spaceneedle on Oct 28, 2010 23:01:12 GMT
Guess who has two weeks off starting Monday? This was planned some time ago, and I was actually hoping to go somewhere for a week. Guess not. You have to do what your conscience dictates. Someday you'll be glad you did.... I am sure your Mom will make a speedy recovery and will leave the hospital with coumadin aka warfarin (names in the US for the meds). The only changes will be that every so often a test will be taken (finger prick) to measure the levels of the meds, since you do not want her blood getting too thin. Here they call the readings they get from the finger prick the "INR" (international normalized ratio) and the PT (prothrombin time) and there are "ranges" in which they like these readings to stay optimal. The other issue is that she will have to watch her intake of foods high in Vitamin K.
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Post by bixaorellana on Oct 29, 2010 0:45:58 GMT
Actually, I am more upset about some of the little details of autonomy. Dammit ~~ I know exactly what you mean. As I said much earlier in this thread, I really don't care to participate because I can feel the same level of rage and frustration that I felt years earlier watching my dad being subjected to medical "care". You are so absolutely correct in guarding against your mother losing those small but essential things. Because of the level of attention you give her, I'm sure she'll return to feeding herself, but that's not really the point, is it? My heart goes out to you and to her.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 30, 2010 19:41:07 GMT
Just a quick update. I was happy to be told today that my mother was feeding herself again. I watched her eat dinner for a certain amount of time and then I decided that it was better to leave, because her eyes were riveted on me the whole time instead of her meal. She would just stop and stare at me.
I am hoping that she will be out of intensive care in about two days and out of that place in less than a week.
Then the battle will begin on what she can do or not do. I saw that they have her on a low sodium diet at the clinic and (yes I tasted her food) I certainly hope that the nursing home will not be instructed to punish her the same way.
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Post by tod2 on Oct 31, 2010 14:38:10 GMT
Glad to hear things are looking up. Low sodium diets are the pits - thank goodness for the new low sodium chloride Himalayan Salt available from health stores and supermarkets. It's pale pink in colour.
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Post by mich64 on Oct 31, 2010 15:05:03 GMT
I was unaware of this salt tod2, thank you I am going to look for it. I love salt, however, not supposed to have. My husband might accept this version!
Kerouac, hoping your mom gets back to her normal routine soon.
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Post by tod2 on Oct 31, 2010 15:46:06 GMT
Mich - I will get you the exact Trade name of the himalayan salt - it is incredibly low and very healthy. I cook with it and put it on the table as well. You get it in a 'rock' version and also ground fine.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 31, 2010 18:41:59 GMT
Thanks for the update K2. Good luck with this. Be wary of so called "discharge plannning", some of these institutions do not plan anything.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 31, 2010 19:23:13 GMT
I felt a bit guilty this evening, leaving earlier than usual. They put my mother in an armchair for 3 hours a day now, and I made a point of arriving when I knew she wouldn't be in bed. But she was pretty sleepy and not very communicative. I spent most of my time just holding her hand and lifting it to her mouth every time she wanted to kiss it. And she kept drifting in and out of sleep. (Frankly, so did I after the first hour.)
So I decided to leave before dinner. Yesterday I left halfway through the meal, because even though she has started feeding herself again, she spent more time looking at me than eating her meal. I figured that she would eat better if I was gone. Also, since it is the first day of winter time, it was getting dark but dinner would arrive "late."
I asked my mother, "Is it okay that I leave now? You look really tired. I'll be back tomorrow afternoon," and even though she had not said anything 'rational' so far, she replied, "well, I know that I don't really have a choice."
So I left her, but I knew that she was not a dupe.
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Post by mich64 on Oct 31, 2010 22:37:37 GMT
I would appreciate that very much tod2. When we were in Austria on holiday, we visited a salt mine and I definitely remember there being pink salt sold everywhere in the town. I wonder if this is similar? I was awfully tempted then to buy some, but I was unaware of it being a healthy substitute or I would have.
Kerouac, my thoughts are with you and your mom daily. I know that I do not know either of you, but I care.
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Post by tod2 on Nov 1, 2010 14:44:39 GMT
Mich64 - OK, here is some information about the low sodium salt:
In supermarkets and health stores it is simply called 'Himalayan Rock Salt or Himalayan Chrystal Salt' One health store has it under the trade name "Salt of the Earth", but the name Himalayan Salt is purely a generic name for all the low sodium salt mined in various countries. I was told some of it is mined in Poland, and even in Hawaai. Ordinary salt - the white kind, runs at about 96% sodium chloride. Himalayan salt is about 24% ALTHOUGH, and watch for this, some have claimed that it is only 12.5% but when tested it was double that!
The very best, if you can get your hands on it, is from China and is called "Crystals of Life" - actually it is not a salt at all but tastes like salt. It has only 2.6% sodium chloride - If you have a ChinaTown you will most probably find it there. All these salts seem to have a pale pink colour.
Let me know.
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Post by mich64 on Nov 1, 2010 17:18:47 GMT
Thanks tod2 I will begin searching here and let you know what I find. I appreciate your information.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 1, 2010 18:52:57 GMT
My mother was having one of her "what do I have to do" days and that was about all she said. She kissed my hand about 75 times and then she started playing with the tubes and wires until she set one of the alarms off, so I stopped her. Then a new visitor arrived. I heard him announcing himself and wondered WTF? but it took me only a few moments to add 2+2. It was the priest who visits the nursing home. Heavy Polish accent (since French priests are so rare now). I thanked him for his visit, but my mother slapped away his hand when he tried to hold it. "There's the door!" she said and pointed. That's more than she said to me the whole time. I managed to talk to the priest for a few minutes, but he knew that he was not welcome, so he retreated quickly. Poor guy. But at least it proved to me that my mother has retained certain basic values.
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