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Post by kerouac2 on Dec 5, 2021 11:58:43 GMT
I remember lots of good times, but I always wonder if I will ever manage to forget some of the embarrassing moments of my life. They seem to be engraved in my mind forever, from childhood through adult life. What is even worse is that they were all minor incidents, not worth remembering. When I have ever brought up any specific moment to anybody else who was there at the time, they have no memory of it at all, so why am I still disturbed?
However, I feel even sorrier for people who hold lasting grudges since a grudge is one of the most useless things ever to poison a person's mind.
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Post by bixaorellana on Dec 5, 2021 15:30:47 GMT
... reach an old age, then start aging in reverse, reliving all the moments of your life going backwards to your birth ... Only if you have a completely clear conscience.
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Post by casimira on Dec 5, 2021 16:17:56 GMT
Wouldn’t it be fun to start over knowing what we know now? Even better, to reach an old age, then start aging in reverse, reliving all the moments of your life going backwards to your birth, then nothingness. Or perhaps like an expanding and collapsing universe, to keep cycling back and forth forever… The very thought of this frightens me. Shades of "No Exit" come to mind. I have to agree with what Kerouac said about holding grudges. Some things just aren't forgivable. Try as I might I have struggled to let some things go. I avoid "going there' mainly because I don't want to relive the hurt that some people have inflicted upon me. I have tried with some people and placed myself in a vulnerable situation with them. Each time I do this I end up getting hurt again.
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Post by tod2 on Dec 5, 2021 16:21:18 GMT
They seem to be engraved in my mind forever, from childhood through adult life. What is even worse is that they were all minor incidents, not worth remembering. When I have ever brought up any specific moment to anybody else who was there at the time, they have no memory of it at all, so why am I still disturbed? Kerouac-Is this what "Hang ups" is about. Not letting go of past faux pas? Goodness. please re-assure yourself that you have no business in the past except when it is acceptable to you. My goodness do we all have way too may hang-ups and guilt-ridden memories. We can't change anything. So live with the good stuff and forgive yourself the bad stuff. The mind is a terrible master. Kick him to the curb.
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Post by casimira on Dec 5, 2021 16:53:23 GMT
Well stated Tod. Thank you.
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Post by kerouac2 on Dec 5, 2021 17:24:12 GMT
Unfortunately, we do not seem to be able to wipe our memories of inconvenient moments.
What is strange is the fact that moments when I hurt somebody with words or actions do not bother me as much as my private minor embarrassments. Actually, times when I disappointed somebody are more important, even such trivial times as when I declined an invitation because I was too tired but I knew that my absence caused disappointment. (This is rather odd because it implies that I consider myself to be important even though such things can probably be filed in the same category of the other person(s) who wouldn't even remember the event.)
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Post by whatagain on Dec 5, 2021 18:02:38 GMT
I have made a lot of faux pas in my life.
Most of ghe time i apolgized. Then I forgave myself. If people didn't forgive me, then i don't forgive them for not forgiving me and i don't see them anymore. Lately i went to see a good friend with whom the relationship had become strained. Mostly because of me, some things where i could have been smarter. I told him how pleased i was to see him, he didn't. I talked about me and some very important stuff, he didn't really acknowledged. He talked about his mother passing away and i listened and tried to be interested. That was becoming a one way conversation. I said call me when you are free for a lunch, leaving a door open. Apparently i must have pissed him off and he didn't get over it. Too bad. He is a great guy and was a good friend. That was 2 years ago. No call, neither from him nor from me.
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Post by mickthecactus on Dec 5, 2021 18:38:20 GMT
I can’t help think that the amount of money spent/wasted on Christmas could be put to much better use elsewhere. Bah humbug.
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Post by kerouac2 on Dec 5, 2021 18:46:39 GMT
I had a very close friend -- Monique -- who finally found love with a banker. I visited them for a party once, and everything was fine and friendly. I also went to dinner once at their new apartment on one of the most expensive streets of the 16th arrondissement in Paris. I was ushered in by the nanny of their young child. They both arrived later, having those professions where it is chic to finish work as late as possible, even when you are expecting guests. But about a year later I was invited to a major party in Normandy for the husband's 50th birthday. There was a map to find the place, which even indicated the special parking area. They were living in a manor and big tents had been set up for the meal in the garden. It went very well, and I actually had a good time conversing with some of the other guests. Obviously, I didn't see Monique very much since she had about 60 other people to take care of.
Nevertheless, our contact was broken forever because she had moved into a totally different world. I never saw Monique again or had any contact with her. I am still a bit regretful about this.
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Post by questa on Dec 5, 2021 22:59:42 GMT
We all have an image of ourselves where we are trying to be as "good" as we can. Then an incident occurs which shows us up as human beings, not idealised but normal creatures who make mistakes, do embarrassing things, say the wrong word or use the wrong fork whilst dining with the Duke and Duchess. Crunch...there goes a bit of your self image. If you can let the incident slip away without going back to it that is good, it has not the power over you, but usually we keep going over it until it is like picking at a scab on a healing sore.
You may apologise a hundred times to others, but why not to yourself? When enough incidents occur you realize that you are real not ideal. Holding grudges, guilt and worry are the only emotions that are useless.They can only hurt, they have no virtue.
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Post by tod2 on Dec 6, 2021 17:27:13 GMT
You may apologise a hundred times to others, but why not to yourself? Oh so very true Questa. I sometimes think we don't have enough on our plates to distract our minds from sweating the small stuff and should concentrate more on the big issues. The important things happening around us.
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Post by whatagain on Dec 6, 2021 21:00:05 GMT
A Brit was admitted to the hospital 1-2 days ago. Until then quite normal. The hospital called explosives department. The guy was a collector. Mostly WW2. He was cleaning his stuff and apparently he fell on a 20mm shell. Which ended up his rectum. Ah... British humor...
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Post by bixaorellana on Dec 6, 2021 23:21:13 GMT
Is that true??!
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Post by kerouac2 on Dec 7, 2021 4:16:04 GMT
I saw the news item, too.
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Post by bjd on Dec 7, 2021 6:51:44 GMT
It made the news here too. Apart from any other questions, why was he cleaning up his military stuff with no clothes on?
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Post by kerouac2 on Dec 7, 2021 7:37:38 GMT
Yeah, usually they just accidentally fall on carrots and cucumbezrs. (Google is your friend.)
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Post by patricklondon on Dec 7, 2021 8:01:00 GMT
He was cleaning his stuff and apparently he fell on a 20mm shell. Which ended up his rectum. "Rectum?" "Well, it would have done if it had exploded"
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Post by bjd on Dec 7, 2021 9:47:09 GMT
He was cleaning his stuff and apparently he fell on a 20mm shell. Which ended up his rectum. "Rectum?" "Well, it would have done if it had exploded"
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Post by bixaorellana on Dec 7, 2021 17:03:05 GMT
Only this moment got it ~
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Post by questa on Dec 7, 2021 22:09:41 GMT
Makes a change from the vacuum cleaner nozzle we used to see in Casualty departments...usually the 'crevice tool' attachment.
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Post by whatagain on Dec 9, 2021 0:07:16 GMT
Walked 20 000+ steps today. App says close to 18 kms.
My feet wwre shouting to stop and at the very least to not walk so much in safety shoes.
Then my right knee threatened to go on strike.
And upon leaving the car - since i drove 3.5 hours in the evening, my back joined the chore of protesting voices by asking NOT to walk so much with a backpack.
My stomach failed to complain too heavily on quality of food tonight. I abandoned a café after 25 min of waiting time for an onion soup, or i would have missed the soup, had 1 sandwich at 5 and one meatball at 9.
I am too old for this... tomorrow i may be invited for lunch. In Essen, which means 'to eat' if i am right. Good omen ?
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Post by whatagain on Dec 13, 2021 10:35:59 GMT
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Post by kerouac2 on Dec 13, 2021 10:54:21 GMT
They usually don't pick the ugliest ones for those stupid contests.
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Post by tod2 on Dec 13, 2021 13:13:00 GMT
Is it Miss World or Universe time again?
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Post by whatagain on Dec 13, 2021 16:24:45 GMT
Yes, miss Universe. Was un Israel.
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Post by questa on Dec 13, 2021 22:04:28 GMT
I had a nasty experience yesterday. I had to attend a new day clinic in a part of the city that I don't know.No room in the parking lot so left my car a street away from the clinic and kept my appointment.The clinic is being renovated so I was shunted out a different door and walked to my car. Car not there...all around were solid homes built after WW2n neat gardens but laid out in a grid pattern and all looking the same. It must be the next street over...I turned too early...No not there either.Walked back to the gate of the clinic and re=traced my steps to the corner where I had parked. Still no car, and I was getting tired. Light drops of rain fell now and then and I was cold, the heavy clouds blotted out any chance of checking direction from the Sun (and it was noon anyway) So I asked anybody I saw for directions.. Apparently I had left the suburb and had been several blocks north of my goal. Thanks, Mate. legs hurting . Came across a female and male council gardening team doing work on new gardens.Boss Woman rang her boss and got the OK to drive me around until we find my car, which we did in about 10 minutes. I had left the clinic at 1150 and found car at 1445- nearly 3 hours of medium fast pacing.I am aching in lower back and legs, but will write a letter to her boss with thanks.
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Post by bixaorellana on Dec 13, 2021 22:35:46 GMT
Gosh, Questa -- that's not just tiring, but also rather scary!
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Post by mich64 on Dec 13, 2021 23:47:15 GMT
Goodness gracious Questa! That is quite a day. Thank goodness for the caring/helpful council gardeners you came across.
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Post by kerouac2 on Dec 14, 2021 6:10:38 GMT
I feel for you, Questa, because I have lost more cars than most, simply because I have never owned a car and only use rental cars. I have learned over time to memorise the location through "landmarks" such as 'across from the laundromat' or 'in aisle K like Kerouac' and that usually works, but there have been times when I have lost a car for an hour, particularly in a tourist village where all of the streets are crooked and you can't see anything in the distance. It has approached panic level once or twice ("Why on earth would anyone want to steal that car?"), even without having a physical condition to incapacitate me. It was much worse before cars had the electronic door openers which also flash the headlamps.
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Post by questa on Dec 14, 2021 9:51:30 GMT
I was carrying a large cotton bag which was overloaded, My shoulders are creased from the pressure. Of course the biggest danger was tripping on the patchy concrete paths, and breaking something important.The irony amused me as I had been having a bone strength study done.
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