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Post by kerouac2 on Mar 22, 2023 17:53:00 GMT
Nice photo but somehow I imagine that his excitement was not totally spontaneous. Now I am wondering at what age any of us really thought about our age without our parents/siblings/grandparents/etc. drilling the news into us. But of course this is much nicer than later events like "you're about to start school and will no longer have control over your schedule and if you cry, Mummy will not be there to make everything right immediately with some kisses!"
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Post by cheerypeabrain on Mar 22, 2023 17:58:19 GMT
What a sweet boy, happy birthday Enzo xxx
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Post by lugg on Mar 22, 2023 19:06:06 GMT
Thanks Cheery and Mich.
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Post by lugg on Mar 22, 2023 19:09:50 GMT
Nice photo but somehow I imagine that his excitement was not totally spontaneous. Now I am wondering at what age any of us really thought about our age without our parents/siblings/grandparents/etc. drilling the news into us. But of course this is much nicer than later events like "you're about to start school and will no longer have control over your schedule and if you cry, Mummy will not be there to make everything right immediately with some kisses!" I hope / prefer to think my parenting and my grand-parenting style is much more about containment and reciprocity.
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Post by mickthecactus on Apr 4, 2023 20:39:44 GMT
My grandson Joe at the circus tonight. He’s the tall one. You’d never guess he’s an art student...
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Post by mickthecactus on Apr 4, 2023 20:45:15 GMT
My daughter, his mother...
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Post by mickthecactus on Apr 4, 2023 20:46:30 GMT
And my son at his 50th birthday dinner
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Post by cheerypeabrain on Apr 4, 2023 21:01:05 GMT
What a lovely family you have Mick great photos.
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Post by htmb on Apr 5, 2023 3:52:20 GMT
Oh, Mick! Great photos, and what a wonderful family!
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Post by bjd on Apr 5, 2023 6:24:34 GMT
From the few photos of you I have seen, Mick, your daughter and her son resemble you much more than your son does.
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Post by onlyMark on Apr 5, 2023 9:09:35 GMT
Really nice Mick. I'd bet there'd be quite a few women who'd kill for hair like your grandson. Probably men as well.
People who don't know our three kids are adopted often remark they look nothing like us. They assume they are from a first marriage.
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Post by mickthecactus on Apr 5, 2023 10:00:04 GMT
He certainly doesn’t get it from me!
Did you adopt your three in one go Mark? Are they sisters?
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Post by mickthecactus on Apr 5, 2023 10:01:24 GMT
Bjd, you may be right about my son looking like his mother.
It’s probably the beard.
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Post by onlyMark on Apr 5, 2023 12:46:41 GMT
Mick, twin sisters and their older brother. They were 3, he was 5. The girls are now 23 and he is 25. From Colombia. All adopted on the same day together. They were on the verge of being split up because nobody wanted all three at the same time.
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Post by mickthecactus on Apr 5, 2023 14:14:46 GMT
That’s pretty brave.
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Post by onlyMark on Apr 5, 2023 14:29:09 GMT
Also considering we strongly suspected my lad was born with Foetal Alcohol Syndrome but we felt dealing with that in Germany would be far better for him in the long run than whatever could be done nevertheless in Colombia. They're the bullet points. It is obviously much longer story.
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Post by mich64 on Apr 5, 2023 16:49:27 GMT
Lovely photos of your family Mick!
Mark, I have read posts regarding your twin daughters but I did not know you also have a son. Wonderful that because of you and your wife these 3 siblings were not separated.
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Post by onlyMark on Apr 5, 2023 17:11:20 GMT
I couldn't imagine separating them. It never crossed our minds. He was five years old and if someone else had come along and said we just want the two cute girls he was aware enough at that age to know what was happening and it would have destroyed him. For life. I remember clearly things at five years old and I'll never forgive my parents for buying me the wrong fifth birthday present (joke) because we were moving house that day.
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Post by onlyMark on Apr 5, 2023 17:16:30 GMT
Bjd, you may be right about my son looking like his mother. It’s probably the beard. I've sent this comment to your wife. Just in case you have a frosty reception later you'll know why. Mrs M said I ought to get more in touch with my feminine side. So I've spent three hundred euros on nothing much because it was on sale and just told her I'd saved us fifty euros. I also ignored her all day for no good reason and when she asked if I was ok I just said, "Fine."
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Post by mickthecactus on Apr 5, 2023 17:28:23 GMT
Bjd, you may be right about my son looking like his mother. It’s probably the beard. I've sent this comment to your wife. Just in case you have a frosty reception later you'll know why. Mrs M said I ought to get more in touch with my feminine side. So I've spent three hundred euros on nothing much because it was on sale and just told her I'd saved us fifty euros. I also ignored her all day for no good reason and when she asked if I was ok I just said, "Fine." 😂😂
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Post by lugg on Apr 5, 2023 18:53:48 GMT
Lovely family photos Mick .
Thats a tough decision Mark, in some ways, but it is so good to read that you were able to keep all your children together ... were you right re FAS ?
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Post by onlyMark on Apr 5, 2023 19:48:39 GMT
Yes. Initially diagnosed with ADHD which can be part of FAS but first ADHD was attributed to the cause of his problems. The difficulty was we were in Egypt and Jordan with them but needed a proper diagnosis of FAS from a doctor in Germany, which thus took longer then we would have liked, but once that was obtained we could officially get him into the "system" in order for the State to register him as somewhat disabled and concertedly assist and help him - rather than us trying to do, and not professionally, what we could without any help. Germany is far better with social and health matters than I could have obtained in the UK anyway. No matter how many behavioural and social issues he had/has we are glad we didn't leave him to end up in a drugs gang (the kids were all from a drug area), possibly dead by now and we never blamed him for the way he is because we know he has no choice or fault. He is what he is through no fault of his own.
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Post by whatagain on Apr 5, 2023 19:52:00 GMT
So good of you to keep them together.
One if my best friends gets heart surgery tomorrow. It stays in my head.
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Post by bixaorellana on Apr 6, 2023 2:58:32 GMT
It's no surprise that you & Mrs. Cactus have such good-looking children, Mick. I went back & looked at the picture of them as children & they really looked alike then. Sandra looks like you, but you're right that the beard on your son makes it harder to see his features. Joe is so handsome!
Mark, I feel really privileged to have heard the story of how your kids came to you. You & Mrs. M were of course brave & good to take on three children at one time, but having them must have been simultaneously difficult and deeply rewarding.
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Post by lugg on Apr 6, 2023 19:14:39 GMT
He is what he is through no fault of his own. Absolutely Mark and I suspect / know he would be in a worse place left to his own devices. FAS is really not very well understood or easily diagnosed ( at least here in the UK ) and of course, by its very nature and association with FAS , attachment disorder muddles the picture in a way but whatever your consistency about lack of blame will be so important
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Post by kerouac2 on Apr 6, 2023 19:20:46 GMT
Great pictures, Mick.
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Post by fumobici on Apr 6, 2023 19:21:38 GMT
My grandson Joe at the circus tonight. He’s the tall one. You’d never guess he’s an art student... He must have been hounded to play basketball.
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Post by fumobici on Apr 6, 2023 19:30:41 GMT
Bjd, you may be right about my son looking like his mother. It’s probably the beard. Made me laugh out loud.
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Post by mickthecactus on Apr 6, 2023 19:50:40 GMT
My grandson Joe at the circus tonight. He’s the tall one. You’d never guess he’s an art student... He must have been hounded to play basketball. Not tall enough. Only 6’ 2”. Plays football and cricket though.
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Post by onlyMark on Apr 7, 2023 5:34:39 GMT
FAS is really not very well understood or easily diagnosed ( at least here in the UK ) Last thing on this - that was the main stumbling block to a diagnosis, the lack of familiarity about it amongst the doctors such that in Germany there was only three or four in the country who knew enough to make a commitment to saying it is or isn't. We had to travel hundreds of kilometres to the nearest clinic that had someone - and of course it took an inordinate amount of time to get to that level after passing though lots of other doctors to get there. The different doctors ummed and arred until we said, look, refer us to someone who can say yes or no for sure and that will be the decision we'll go on.
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