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Post by htmb on Jun 8, 2019 14:33:40 GMT
Since I first started this thread in 2012, to explain a bit about my adoption and search for biological heritage, much has happened as DNA testing has become more advanced. I figured an update was in order. While I still love visiting France and try to go every year, I’ve recently learned I’m only a quarter French (mixed in with some Dutch, German and English). My ancestors were indeed Huguenots and left northern France, for what is now New York, with the Dutch West India Company in 1624. I’ve been able to trace this branch of my family tree back to some interesting characters with a very rich and diverse history. However, the rest of my heritage was quite a surprise to me and something I’d never considered. I am, in fact, three-quarters Italian, and three of my four grandparents were born in southern Italy. My maternal grandfather came from Bari and emigrated to the US in 1910 as a 16 year old. He ultimately settled in Pennsylvania after jumping a train, where he worked in the NY yards, to escape thugs who were trying to steal his paycheck. I know this because a year ago I was matched to my biological sister through DNA testing, and have just returned from Pennsylvania where I’ve met the majority of my biological mother’s remaining family. As it turns out, I was the third child of six children. The older two were raised by our grandparents, while the younger three were raised by our mother and their father, her third husband. I was a complete surprise to all my siblings, but they have been extremely kind and gracious to their sister born during their/our mother’s “missing years.” On my paternal side, I’ve made connections with first/second cousins and a niece. The information isn’t quite as defined, but my grandparents came from the Naples area and settled in the northeastern US just before my father was born in 1901. I doubt I’ll ever know how and where my biological parents met, but I’m guessing the relationship wasn’t very long term. It’s been a very interesting year of information-gathering and surprises, to say the least, but I’m glad to now know most of the rest of the story. Now I need to visit Italy and try to pick up a little Italian along the way.
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Post by whatagain on Jun 8, 2019 15:03:55 GMT
I find it very interesting to know about my relatives but am absolutely not interested in my genealogy. I am glad you found your family. And i am glad you have a reason more to visit Italy !
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Post by bjd on Jun 8, 2019 16:47:57 GMT
How interesting for you, htmb. From Protestant French to southern Italians! Quite a mixture. Nice too that you have been able to meet close members of your biological family and got on with them.
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Post by mossie on Jun 8, 2019 17:12:07 GMT
Well done htmb, it must be very satisfying to dig all those people up
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Post by bixaorellana on Jun 8, 2019 18:59:49 GMT
Htmb, that is astounding! I am thrilled for you and deeply impressed that you managed to find out much. Most people have less to start with on genealogy and don't get that far. So many questions -- did you and your new siblings feel like family right away? Are any of them close in age to you? Not to be intrusive, but how did you go about making contact.
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Post by mich64 on Jun 8, 2019 19:07:31 GMT
Indeed and interesting year htmb! Fascinating that you were able to find out so many more details and wonderful that you have made contact.
Your new found information will make researching and visiting Italy all the more fun! Good like with learning some Italian!
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Post by htmb on Jun 8, 2019 20:19:04 GMT
Thanks, everyone! I have indeed been very fortunate in so many ways.
Whatagain, I seriously doubt I’d be all that interested in genealogy either, if I’d known all along where I came from rather than having a void. After all, I’d been told I was probably Scottish because of my reddish, curly hair as a young girl and the very Scottish last name of my birth mother. As it turns out, the last name was that of her first husband who was no relation to me.
My oldest sibling is six years older, and my baby brother is twelve years younger, so there is a wide range in ages. The oldest, a sister, took a DNA test and actually matched up with my younger daughter first. My daughter was clueless as to who this person might be, but I was sure it was my sister from the very beginning because my adoption papers had mention of my mother having given birth to two older children. My sister has been warm and receptive ever since my first email explaining what I thought was our connection.
This older sister, and my older brother, had been left in care of our grandparents as babies when our mother, who was very young, took off for places unknown. Our mother later resurfaced, married and had my last three siblings, staying married to their father until she died fifty years later. So my older sister probably didn’t feel threatened in any way because our origins have been very similar and quite complicated.
Unfortunately, my older brother died very tragically in 1970, but my two younger brothers have been very accepting. They each have mentioned how weird it feels to not know someone, yet to feel a strong connection. I have felt the same. My younger sister has seemed to struggle with the situation the most, but I’m hoping she’ll come around once the shock wears off a bit more.
I can’t speak to my paternal side, but the Italian heritage seems to have been swept under the rug once my maternal grandfather came to the US. There was a lot of prejudice towards Italians back in those days and it was quite scandalous when my Lutheran Pennsylvanian grandmother eloped with my Italian grandfather back in 1916. When I asked my sister if she’d learned any Italian from our grandfather, she said our grandmother had forbidden it in the house.
So, I’m doing my best to revive what I now know if my Italian heritage. I actually qualify as a dual Italian-American citizen, and last summer I started the lengthy process of becoming recognized.
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Post by htmb on Jun 8, 2019 20:35:15 GMT
Bixa, to answer your question about making contact, I was in Lille, on my way to a week at a tiny French beach town with no WiFi or phone when S discovered the DNA match, so I had a week to flip out over the whole situation. Once I returned to Paris, I sent a gently worded message to my sister through Ancestry and gave her my email address. In response, she not only wrote a warm welcome back, but she included a photo of our mother. The first picture I’d ever seen. I was absolutely bowled over and was, fortunately, meeting a friend for dinner. I think I was so stunned she had to practically lead me to the restaurant. After all these years of not knowing anything about my origins, I was suddenly privy to the whole crazy story.....well, most of it anyway. It seems a few details were taken to the grave.
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Post by bixaorellana on Jun 9, 2019 6:02:47 GMT
Htmb, I am extremely happy for you! I've read everything you've written on this page two and three times, but still have trouble imagining how this flipping open of the book of your life into a previously closed chapter must feel. It has to be so many emotions and reactions at once, especially since you now have so much of a rich and complex picture to assimilate. Your heart must have been beating out of your chest on the way up to Pennsylvania. How lovely that your siblings all felt the connection, and that your older sister was so welcoming and reassuring from the get-go. As you say, it's a shock, so surely your younger sister will come around once the amazing discovery dust settles.
What's the right thing to say in this situation? I'll go with well done and congratulations!
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Post by htmb on Jun 9, 2019 11:46:17 GMT
Thanks, Bixa. I appreciate your comments. You’ve pretty well summed up the experience. Lots of ups and downs. It all feels pretty surreal most of the time, but I think I’ve been extremely fortunate.
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Post by kerouac2 on Jun 9, 2019 12:54:13 GMT
I'm so happy for you, htmb, and yet this sort of experience is basically beyond the comprehension of most of us. We know where we came from, the good and the bad, and that's all there is to it. Even if we don't know everything about all of the branches of the family, we generally know enough to satisfy our curiosity. But for you it is a completely different situation, a magical mystery tour into both your past and your future. Frankly, it is quite odd.
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Post by htmb on Jun 9, 2019 17:56:46 GMT
Thanks, Kerouac. Magical mystery tour is an excellent description. I like that. It’s been a real trip, to be sure.
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Post by lagatta on Jun 9, 2019 20:48:39 GMT
I'm not very keen on genetic testing because as a historian I view ancestry as much in terms of social groups and their interaction as of genes. However, I was flabbergasted by the amount of West African ancestry my youngest maternal uncle has. (Most of the others have died, not because of unfortunate genetics, but because my mother was 42 and my dad almost 50). Maternal grandfather from the West Indies. And there is some confirmed Indigenous ancestry, as much Arawak as Iroquoian. I thought my full lips and extremely curly hair came from the southern European ancestors, but they could derive from both.
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Post by lugg on Jun 18, 2019 17:28:36 GMT
I so enjoyed reading your up-date Htmb and I am so pleased for you that you have been able to join so many dots; I cannot begin to imagine how you have felt during this journey and finally seeing a photo of your mother. Thank you for sharing it with us.
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Post by htmb on Jun 29, 2019 17:01:21 GMT
I so enjoyed reading your up-date Htmb and I am so pleased for you that you have been able to join so many dots; I cannot begin to imagine how you have felt during this journey and finally seeing a photo of your mother. Thank you for sharing it with us. Many thanks for your kind words, Lugg.
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