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Post by whatagain on Feb 25, 2016 17:45:25 GMT
...out removing them from the shell. EXCELLENT !!!!!!!
... he became deaf and shouted at the top of his lungs for beer.
He drank a gallon of Jupiler, burped loudly and ....
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Post by mossie on Feb 25, 2016 19:24:39 GMT
and spewed his guts up
That'll teach him not to drink rough gnats pee
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Post by Deleted on Feb 26, 2016 5:45:09 GMT
...in a foreign country.
At the pharmacy, he was unable to explain...
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Post by chexbres on Feb 26, 2016 9:49:28 GMT
...the large red welts that covered his entire body! As it turned out, the pharmacist explained that he was not allergic to shellfish, but...
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Post by Deleted on Feb 26, 2016 11:02:14 GMT
...instead should cut down on his sex games.
Regularly whipped by left wing journalists, he...
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Post by whatagain on Feb 26, 2016 19:41:57 GMT
... turned into a monk and seeked refuge in an abbey.
But his sexual appetite was bigger than his faith and ...
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Post by Deleted on Mar 4, 2016 10:53:27 GMT
...also bigger than his penis in spite of what he said at the debate.
It was time to find a surgeon so that...
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Post by mossie on Mar 4, 2016 20:47:04 GMT
To put an end to his frolics
Will roll him over and cut off his bollocks
to paraphrase an old drinking song
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Post by Deleted on Mar 4, 2016 22:40:22 GMT
...which can now be rolled in flour and fried in butter.
Sliced testicles are a delicacy that...
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Post by chexbres on Mar 5, 2016 19:28:33 GMT
...like vengeance, are best served cold. On the other hand, other organ meats should be...
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Post by whatagain on Mar 5, 2016 20:00:32 GMT
... embalmed and shown on display Now reduced to an eunuch he went into politics, since having no balls ...
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2016 16:52:14 GMT
...is obligatory in order to get elected.
Many years ago, there was a different sort of candidate who...
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Post by whatagain on Mar 6, 2016 21:25:37 GMT
... could walk on water. He did it in Montreux when going for a smoke. He built a few secondary houses where you can still ...
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Post by Deleted on Mar 7, 2016 7:55:28 GMT
...count dirty cash from your secret bank account.
But sometimes it is better to just...
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Post by mossie on Mar 7, 2016 17:02:51 GMT
sit back and dream about the past
While fantasising about the future
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Post by Deleted on Mar 7, 2016 21:36:10 GMT
...which is the only direction we are allowed to go.
Nevertheless, if I had a time machine...
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Post by mickthecactus on Mar 8, 2016 8:41:32 GMT
I'd return to the bad old days when we just drank rough gin.
Mind you, it can be very nice mixed with.......
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Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2016 23:13:19 GMT
...a handful of tranquilizers.
For one thing, you fall asleep so fast that...
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Post by whatagain on Mar 18, 2016 20:40:29 GMT
...You are still standing. Which helps to relieve your bladder, but doesn't in case ....
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Post by Deleted on Mar 19, 2016 23:19:08 GMT
...you are already peeing your pants.
But if you need clean clothes, there is always...
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Post by whatagain on Jul 2, 2016 12:48:44 GMT
a wife to be found. For drinking beers however, you must find...
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Post by Deleted on Jul 3, 2016 10:09:55 GMT
...a bottle opener.
Luckily it can also be used for...
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Post by mickthecactus on Jul 4, 2016 12:12:32 GMT
Digging in very small gardens.
Talking of gardens I see.....
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Post by chexbres on Jul 4, 2016 19:43:53 GMT
...nothing growing outside my kitchen window! Somebody sure must like...
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Post by whatagain on Jul 4, 2016 20:20:18 GMT
Burying old mothers in law in small gardens ! But their decomposing bodies produce so much bile that it prevents anything growing except ...
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Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2016 14:18:35 GMT
...gigantic nettles.
Everybody says that nettle soup is delicious but...
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Post by mickthecactus on Jul 6, 2016 13:08:52 GMT
....It really does sting the tongue.
Did you know that with my tongue I can......
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Post by cheerypeabrain on Jul 6, 2016 19:45:23 GMT
Sculpt ice-cream into the Venus de Milo.
However, I find that the disadvantages of ice-cream based construction....
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Post by Deleted on Jul 7, 2016 4:10:40 GMT
...outweigh the benefits.
Or rather, I now outweigh everybody else and have to...
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Post by chexbres on Jul 7, 2016 19:52:29 GMT
...just sit and watch while they stuff their faces! Meanwhile, they have no idea that I am...
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