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Post by mossie on Mar 22, 2017 9:04:17 GMT
Just stood there in its usual trance
and shit itself
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Post by mickthecactus on Mar 22, 2017 10:20:04 GMT
Much to the delight of their farmers who had never had such a bumper windfall of manure.
Now they could........
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Post by Deleted on Mar 22, 2017 23:32:15 GMT
...fling it across the Channel.
One particularly vile turd hit...
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Post by mickthecactus on Apr 4, 2017 12:08:42 GMT
The white cliffs of Dover.
That made Vera Lynn........
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Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2017 16:19:33 GMT
...hit a high note.
In fact it was so high that...
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Post by mickthecactus on Apr 11, 2017 13:06:04 GMT
Bluebirds suddenly appeared from thousands of miles away.
Vera just stood there and.........
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Post by Deleted on Apr 11, 2017 17:13:22 GMT
... and the urine of surprise ran down her legs.
What was really incredible was that the puddle...
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Post by mickthecactus on Apr 12, 2017 7:23:15 GMT
(This thread seems to have become obsessed with bodily functions)
.. reflected the sky and the Luftwaffe trying one more time.
We need Whatagain here to......
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Post by Deleted on Apr 13, 2017 16:33:00 GMT
... explain each and every battle of the various wars.
Then we might find out if the correct side won and...
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Post by mickthecactus on Apr 19, 2017 13:11:13 GMT
We could all go home happy.
But suddenly there was a distant rumble. It was....
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Post by Deleted on Apr 19, 2017 16:50:17 GMT
...the thundering hooves of fascism trying to invade Europe.
If we could build a wall...
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Post by mickthecactus on Apr 24, 2017 13:42:55 GMT
It still would get over the top.
What we need is....
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Post by Deleted on Apr 26, 2017 5:04:39 GMT
...a giant moat with poisoned spikes at the bottom.
This would also be useful for...
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Post by mickthecactus on Jul 27, 2017 7:37:28 GMT
Lots of things which I just can't think of at this moment.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch........
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Post by kerouac2 on Jul 27, 2017 17:08:26 GMT
Roy Rogers and Dale Evans got out their guitars.
This took me back to my childhood when...
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Post by mickthecactus on Aug 1, 2017 11:03:29 GMT
I used to dress up for the weekly horse dance.
One particular Palomino always liked to....
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Post by kerouac2 on Aug 2, 2017 14:50:10 GMT
...use my arse as a salt lick.
But this was not acceptable, so...
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Post by mossie on Aug 2, 2017 15:43:21 GMT
I kicked him in the Trossachs
That made him dance
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Post by kerouac2 on Aug 2, 2017 18:25:59 GMT
the hokey pokey for several minutes.
When things calmed down, it was time to...
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Post by mickthecactus on Aug 3, 2017 12:05:55 GMT
Leave the dance and head for the hills.
There we learned to....
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Post by kerouac2 on Aug 3, 2017 18:20:22 GMT
...catch coneys and roast them over our camp fire.
But we cried when the little rabbit babies arrived and...
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Post by mickthecactus on Aug 8, 2017 12:30:39 GMT
Bit our ankles.
But we got our own back. We.........
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Post by kerouac2 on Aug 8, 2017 17:21:20 GMT
...made enough rabbit pâté to last us through the winter.
The winter here can be...
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Post by mickthecactus on Aug 9, 2017 7:23:53 GMT
Very cold and brutal.
Why, just last year we.......
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Post by kerouac2 on Aug 10, 2017 15:31:57 GMT
...collected enough ice for cocktails for the rest of the year.
One of the drinks that people most appreciated was...
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Post by mickthecactus on Aug 29, 2017 12:39:32 GMT
.....Rabbit Martini. Wonderful aphrodisiac.
A couple of those and you'd be.........
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Post by kerouac2 on Aug 29, 2017 19:56:48 GMT
...bouncing across the room.
Unfortunately, at the other end...
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Post by mickthecactus on Aug 30, 2017 7:26:57 GMT
....The fuzz were waiting.
Waiting to cart you off to...
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Post by kerouac2 on Aug 31, 2017 22:18:11 GMT
...a safe place.
As you were being cared for...
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Post by mickthecactus on Sept 5, 2017 12:19:41 GMT
..by this large policeman
It seemed the only way out was to....
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