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Post by mickthecactus on Apr 12, 2020 14:43:04 GMT
That he had pulled a calf muscle.
He hobbled away towards...
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Post by mossie on Apr 12, 2020 15:24:50 GMT
The cowsheds
Hoping to pull another calf
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Post by kerouac2 on Apr 13, 2020 9:00:11 GMT
...away from its mother's udders. Then he would firmly affix his lips to...
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Post by mickthecactus on Apr 13, 2020 9:22:02 GMT
A passing Beyonce.
She had other ideas though and....
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Post by kerouac2 on Apr 13, 2020 18:59:48 GMT
grabbed a microphone.
The sound that came out of her mouth was...
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Post by whatagain on Apr 14, 2020 6:16:59 GMT
Very sensual. It was then obvious that she had put her mike...
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Post by mossie on Apr 14, 2020 7:12:50 GMT
Where it shouldn't go
luckily it came out smelling of sweet violets
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Post by kerouac2 on Apr 14, 2020 16:55:09 GMT
… as well as strawberries and cream.
That's because she had actually put it...
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Post by questa on Apr 15, 2020 7:36:54 GMT
on the front seat of the Ambassador's Mercedes.
Now, she had heard he was VERY generous to his lady friends so.........
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Post by mickthecactus on Apr 15, 2020 10:15:02 GMT
He gave her a punnet.
Not what she had in mind so...
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Post by kerouac2 on Apr 15, 2020 16:51:13 GMT
...she leaped out and ran for the forest.
That's where she encountered...
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Post by mickthecactus on Apr 15, 2020 16:54:41 GMT
All the little forest folk.
One little pixie caught her eye and started to...
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Post by kerouac2 on Apr 16, 2020 5:52:02 GMT
...cough.
He was clearly running a fever so...
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Post by mickthecactus on Apr 16, 2020 13:06:59 GMT
She contacted the National Elf Service.
They said she needs to ring......
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Post by kerouac2 on Apr 16, 2020 14:43:05 GMT
...Santa Claus, who is the elf king.
Since he is self-isolating...
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Post by questa on Apr 17, 2020 0:48:32 GMT
We took him paper bags of magic water
So he could...
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Post by kerouac2 on Apr 18, 2020 13:29:36 GMT
...wash his feet.
It turned out that the real problem was...
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Post by mickthecactus on Apr 19, 2020 8:02:23 GMT
His toenails needed cutting as he couldn't reach them.
But he suddenly had a bright idea and...
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Post by questa on Apr 19, 2020 13:12:16 GMT
smeared his toes with peanut butter and a passing dog chewed the toe nails into shape. It was just as well because ...
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Post by kerouac2 on Apr 19, 2020 18:56:38 GMT
...he needed a dog.
His new canine friend immediately took him to...
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Post by questa on Apr 19, 2020 23:49:40 GMT
a nearby box of 4 gorgeous puppies "Goodness" he said, "I'll have to..."
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Post by kerouac2 on Apr 24, 2020 16:39:03 GMT
...get a sack to throw them in the river.
But on second thought...
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Post by questa on Apr 24, 2020 21:50:25 GMT
I can sell the pups in the market, I need some extra money to...
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Post by kerouac2 on Apr 28, 2020 8:49:36 GMT
... buy weed.
It will be a pleasant addition to the upcoming festival of...
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Post by mossie on Apr 28, 2020 10:55:15 GMT
Breaking the fast of ramadan
When I can spend the next day sitting against the wall staring glassy eyed at nothing
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Post by mickthecactus on Apr 28, 2020 11:09:22 GMT
In particular.
But that's no good. I need to...
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Post by questa on Apr 28, 2020 11:09:38 GMT
or on the other hand, make some weed brownies and give them to...
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Post by kerouac2 on Apr 29, 2020 9:09:58 GMT
...health care workers.
I've heard that in the hospitals there are...
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Post by mickthecactus on Apr 29, 2020 9:17:27 GMT
Secret cupboards full of "medication".
It seems it all came from....
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Post by questa on Apr 29, 2020 10:59:12 GMT
Colombia, except some from Myanmar , where it is harvested by
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