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Post by htmb on Sept 14, 2013 15:38:21 GMT
During a troubled period in my life I sought assistance from a professional who turned out to be the perfect fit for me. She very supportively helped me to explore recent events and to make future, life-changing decisions. Though I have thought about her often, I haven't seen her in a long time. Today I read her very simple obituary in the newspaper. As a professional, she was revered by both her students and her clients. I know I'm just one of many who will miss her clear-minded, straight-forward way of seeing the world, and her way of connecting with others through kindness and care.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2013 16:50:18 GMT
I have to admit that I have always energetically resisted all sorts of psychological help in my life even when friends tried to force it upon me. "I know why I am depressed and it is a perfectly legitimate reason to be depressed so leave me alone." I was probably wrong to do so, because professionals are fully equipped to help people to move on from certain situations. I know it doesn't always work, but it is completely stupid to reject at least an attempt to help you. Being a complete cheapskate, I still have a problem with the fees charged if they are not reimbursed by my health plan. (And yet I know that personal "payment for service" is considered to be an essential part of psychological assistance.)
Nevertheless, I am totally aware of the void that one feels when anybody who could possibly assist disappears, even if one did not take full advantage of their services. When people like that are no longer with us, we obviously think not just of ourselves but of all of the people who benefited from the person's wisdom and professionalism.
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Post by htmb on Sept 14, 2013 17:05:21 GMT
Kerouac, for me during that time it helped to discuss issues with someone who was totally disconnected from me personally and who had no stake in any possible decisions of mine. A good sounding board and a place to have my thoughts reflected back at me was what I needed, and that's what I got. I remember her with fondness, but certainly not with a feeling of missing her for any personal needs now. That time is long past and she was a big help in the transition. For that I am very grateful.
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Post by htmb on Sept 14, 2013 17:12:53 GMT
But, you're right. If anything new ever popped up, I doubt I'd seek out help. I'd have to completely break-in someone else. With her, I could just pick up where I left off.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2013 18:51:43 GMT
I am always a bit sad when a good person that I knew disappears. Even if they were never of any help to me directly, I always think of the the good that they did for others.
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Post by htmb on Sept 18, 2013 0:50:17 GMT
Hopefully some of that good will be carried on through those who were originally affected.
I was not able to attend the memorial for my friend due to work commitments, but there have been several very touching posts online. I can only imagine that the gathering, held in a beautiful garden space that I keep planning to revisit and photograph, was a very special and unique tribute to this gentle individual.
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Post by cheerypeabrain on Sept 22, 2013 8:44:43 GMT
How very sad for you htmb
It sounds like she was an individual who touched many lives and made a deep impression on those she interacted with. A life well lived, and here on Anyport you have posted a tribute that will be read by others. Triggering a ripple of memories as we, in turn, recall people who have had a similar influence on us.
aw....X
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Post by cheerypeabrain on Sept 22, 2013 8:56:06 GMT
I have to admit that I have always energetically resisted all sorts of psychological help in my life even when friends tried to force it upon me. "I know why I am depressed and it is a perfectly legitimate reason to be depressed so leave me alone." I was probably wrong to do so, because professionals are fully equipped to help people to move on from certain situations. I know it doesn't always work, but it is completely stupid to reject at least an attempt to help you. Being a complete cheapskate, I still have a problem with the fees charged if they are not reimbursed by my health plan. (And yet I know that personal "payment for service" is considered to be an essential part of psychological assistance.) Nevertheless, I am totally aware of the void that one feels when anybody who could possibly assist disappears, even if one did not take full advantage of their services. When people like that are no longer with us, we obviously think not just of ourselves but of all of the people who benefited from the person's wisdom and professionalism. I know where you are coming from Kerouac...I 'fell out of my tree' probably due to a combination of factors in 1998 and was unable to work for 10 months (couldn't leave the house for 3). As part of my treatment I was 'encouraged' to participate in talking therapy by the HR department at work. I'm sure that for some people this is exactly what they need, but for me it was torture. I did NOT want to discuss my inner-most private thoughts with a total stranger, she was a very kind woman but I was horrified at the detail she wanted to draw out of me. I would leave feeling MUCH worse....imo some things should stay buried.....I only had 5 sessions and maybe that wasn't enough to achieve much...I couldn't cope with any more and managed to recover at home with the support of my family and my GP (and lots and lots of lofapramine)
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