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Post by Deleted on Sept 29, 2013 16:03:30 GMT
That sounds like just what I did, htmb. I kid you not when I say that I knew almost next to nothing about India before I started to plan this journey. I was five years old when I left the country and I've had a full and busy life and I've concentrated on that for many years. Now that my kids are older I can think about going to more far off places, but really I am starting from scratch. I think there is something very special about discovering for yourself first hand a new place or country, this way you make your own mind up without anyone else's ideas and experiences getting in the way. It makes it more personal. And then afterwards you can read up about where you've been and see what others had to say about it. There is a lot to be said about this kind of travel. Of course we need to read up something about where we are going - I read the travel guide 'frommers' before I left and a few other books detailing what to see and do, but that was about it. And now that I have the 'India bug' - I want to know more and see more. But, that is just me, like you say, everyone has their own way of doing this and there is no right or wrong way of doing it, whatever works for each of us is fine. I tend to be more reserved when writing than I want to be, I'm always worried I guess of offending someone or another. The only time I do write exactly as I want to is when I am writing for myself or in a book (like the book I wrote about my childhood). It was raw, totally honest and complete with warts an all. It was also very freeing and therapeutic for me. Thanks for the encouragement, htmb, I will try more often to write on here not only from the head but also from the heart.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 29, 2013 16:16:38 GMT
Homosexuality was illegal until 2009. Then the Supreme Court struck off that clause in the constitution, so I guess it is legal now. Yes, it looks like that is what happened, ansh. But some are not happy about it and the law is somewhat foggy. There is a lot of prejudice for gay people in India. On another note - regarding In hijras I read this on wiki: "In South Asia, many hijras live in well-defined, organized, all-hijra communities, led by a guru. These communities have sustained themselves over generations by "adopting" young boys who are rejected by, or flee their family of origin. Many work as sex workers for survival. The word hijra is a Hindustani word, derived from the Arabic root hjr in its sense of "leaving one's tribe, and has been borrowed into Hindi. The Indian usage has traditionally been translated into English as "eunuch" or "hermaphrodite," where "the irregularity of the male genitalia is central to the definition. However, in general hijras are born with typically male physiology, only a few having been born with male intersex variations. Some Hijras undergo an initiation rite into the hijra community called nirwaan, which refers to the removal of penis, testicles and scrotum." A found this to be somewhat disturbing. On one level it would seem that hijra's are organized and have rights and are willing to fight for them etc. Which is all fine. But one the other hand a few things I find hard to understand and accept. The fact that they take into their communities boys (I'm guessing straight boys) and make them into sex workers and the other thing is they they undergo an initiation rite were the outwardly reproductive organs of some of the boys are removed. I am finding this to be wrong on so many levels.
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Post by htmb on Sept 29, 2013 19:35:52 GMT
I tend to be more reserved when writing than I want to be, I'm always worried I guess of offending someone or another. The only time I do write exactly as I want to is when I am writing for myself or in a book (like the book I wrote about my childhood). It was raw, totally honest and complete with warts an all. It was also very freeing and therapeutic for me. Thanks for the encouragement, htmb, I will try more often to write on here not only from the head but also from the heart. I also believe in being cognizant of your "readers" and keeping to the norm for the place you are posting. It is part of showing respect for others. I can certainly understand how you would write differently when creating a book published under your own name, versus writing posted on a forum. I see AnyPort as a type of community, and agree with you that it is important to be sensitive to the group and to moderate your writing, while still allowing your personality to show through.
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Post by questa on Sept 29, 2013 22:57:33 GMT
It seems that the young boys are already gay and have been rejected by their families, so are adopted by the hijras
That's how I understand it.
In Thailand many of the 'lady-boys' have this operation...even in Oz we have 'gender re-assignation' surgery available for transgendered people.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 2, 2013 1:06:38 GMT
I see, questa.
I do question certain things though. For instance are some of these boys old enough to know if they are gay or transgendered? Sorry, I'm a bit confused about all these labels or things that they are called and what they mean exactly. I guess I haven't really looked into it before.
Before having the re-assignment surgery, are they offered counselling? And who performs the surgeries and who pays for them?
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Post by Deleted on Oct 2, 2013 1:09:40 GMT
I tend to be more reserved when writing than I want to be, I'm always worried I guess of offending someone or another. The only time I do write exactly as I want to is when I am writing for myself or in a book (like the book I wrote about my childhood). It was raw, totally honest and complete with warts an all. It was also very freeing and therapeutic for me. Thanks for the encouragement, htmb, I will try more often to write on here not only from the head but also from the heart. I also believe in being cognizant of your "readers" and keeping to the norm for the place you are posting. It is part of showing respect for others. I can certainly understand how you would write differently when creating a book published under your own name, versus writing posted on a forum. I see AnyPort as a type of community, and agree with you that it is important to be sensitive to the group and to moderate your writing, while still allowing your personality to show through. I understand what you are saying, htmb. All that has to come into consideration...
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Post by htmb on Oct 2, 2013 1:40:53 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 2, 2013 15:31:41 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 3, 2013 8:47:53 GMT
Just now catching up with this report. Particularly regarding sexuality, what I have always read about the attitude all across the region and stretching as far as Morocco is that "homosexuality only exists if you call it that." Meaning that the people involved do all sorts of things and everybody turns a blind eye as long as none of them are "gay." It is considered to be an at least semi-acceptable release of sexual frustration in a society where women are off limits outside of marriage.
My former Pakistani colleague was as effiminate as a person can possibly be (he would put on shows dressed as Tina Turner!), but just about all of us met his family on various occasions, and they were all charming, dispersed all over the place in Karachi, Vancouver, Houston or Miami -- not a single one of them ever referred to anything "eccentric" about the colleague and they were all just waiting for him to get married.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2013 11:13:22 GMT
It's a strange world we live in. You hear that these kind of things happen in institutes like prisons but I have never thought that it could happen in the wider world. Kind of hypocritical. In that they are afraid to act a certain way because it's not accepted by their wider community, but go ahead behind doors and do what is also against not only their own fiber and looked down by the wider community.
A prime example of people putting their heads in the sand - Shrien Dewani who murdered his wife in SA. He married her to save face (because he was gay) and then planned a way to get out of the marriage. Did his family not know? They must have had some clue at least, but they married him off anyway.
We talk about peer pressure and the school yard. But, in reality it's more evident amongst adults...
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Post by Deleted on Oct 5, 2013 1:53:16 GMT
I didn't want to go to Hyderabad. I didn't want to be there, or make the effort to go looking for 'places of interest', where to spend the night and the usual stuff we did over and over again. We had packed too much in, too many cities, too many places in too short a time or too long a time, depending on how you looked at it. And the heat! The unrelenting extreme heat was getting to me. I was not used it. Extreme cold, yes, but extreme heat? no. So what do we know about the Hyderabad? 'Hyderabad is the capital of Andhra Pradesh in Southern India. Occupying 650 square kilometres along the banks of the Musi River, it has a population of 6.8 million and a metropolitan population of 7.75 million, making it the fourth most populous city and sixth most populous urban agglomeration in India. Located on the banks of the Musi River and on the Deccan Plateau. Hyderabad and Secunderabad are "twin cities" near Hussain Sagar Lake, but both cities have grown so much that now they have become one big metropolis. The city and district of Hyderabad are coterminous. Hyderabad district is entirely contained within the Ranga Reddy district of Andhra Pradesh. Many of the suburbs of Hyderabad were recently merged into the city, now called Greater Hyderabad.' It was hard to tell where Hyderabad ended and Secunderabad started. In reality it's all one big city, seamless. One big, chaotic, busy, crazy city, teaming with thousands of people, actually more correctly - millions of people. Most of whom seemed to be on the streets at the same time. We would be here for just two days and two nights. It was enough. We got off at the station and looked around. This was going to be the craziest place we had so far been to and seen. It was meant to be just a stepping stone to our next destination, and this time we had no train pre-booked and had no idea how we would get to Aurangabad. More fun and games... Something new, we found that the railway station offered accommodation. I had never noticed that before anywhere else. It was really cheap and really tempting to say 'to hell with it, lets just stay here for a night or or two or until we can figure out some form of transport out of here'. We had a look around. It was very basic, clean, organized and well... very prison like. The corridor to the various rooms: There were all kind of rooms and a couple of dormitories as well. We decided against it. I just didn't feel comfortable there. But I do think that for passengers who had to wait a day or two for their next train, and had no reason to be in the city itself, this would have been ideal. It would save a lot of hassles. And it was better than what we had seen downstairs - which was people sleeping in the waiting area, resting until their train came.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 5, 2013 1:53:55 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 5, 2013 1:54:37 GMT
To be continued...
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Post by Deleted on Oct 5, 2013 13:40:25 GMT
You might be wondering if we carried our luggage around with us? Well, all we had were 4 bags or sometimes 5. Three backpacks and two others, one with blankets and the other with books, food and other kickbacks.
We had discovered a few cities back that almost all large train stations have a 'holding' area for luggage. For a small fee, good for 24 hours, we could book in our bags. The person at the reception would take notes, he would look at our train tickets, to make sure we had in fact just got off the train and take down details from our passports. A ticket was issued with a number on it. This was a Godsend, especially if we were due to be in a city for only a day or two. We simply took out what we needed for that time and left the rest there. Very freeing. However I always worried that our 'luggage' would go missing, or be given to the wrong person by mistake. But thankfully it never was.
We never had to leave our bags more than 24 hours, but there was an option to do so, for an extra fee of course.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 7, 2013 5:11:34 GMT
The fact that you were getting fed up with the trip shows in that last set of photos -- the people look grim and the scenes are uglier (but always just as fascinating). What looked "colourful" before is beginning to look just dirty and stressful.
It is a perfect psychological shift for this report and really conveys the idea "it's time to go home."
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Post by Deleted on Oct 8, 2013 13:26:35 GMT
You're very observant, Kerouac I'm glad that I was able to convey my frame of mind during that point in time in my journey. I was ready to do home. I was very homesick. Remember that I had never been away from home and loved ones for that amount of time before, so yes, it was hard. Thanks heavens I had my two older boys with me, without them it would have been even worse. But anyhow, I don't want to sound like a spoiled little madam. Things would get better. Hyderabad was a real low point. I hated the city, there is no other word for it. It held no charm, or anything new or of interest for me. It was a very overcrowded, chaotic place where so many negatives were magnified 10 time over.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 10, 2013 1:57:34 GMT
Security was high in Hyderabad. This was due to the two explosions that had occurred on the 21st February. I remember the day well. We were in Rajasthan at the time and heard the news on the television. The government was asking for calm and there was confusion as to who was responsible. Quote from the BBC on the 21st of February 2013: "Two explosions have killed 12 people in the southern Indian city of Hyderabad, in what Prime Minister Manmohan Singh labelled as a "dastardly attack".
The blasts that hit the city in Andhra Pradesh were 10 minutes apart, police said. Television images showed casualties being rushed to hospital.
India's home minister said bombs had been planted on bicycles 150m (500ft) apart near a crowded fruit market.
Major cities have been put on alert as police probe the cause for the blasts.
"The number of dead has increased to 12 and the injured are 57," Home Secretary RK Singh said after a high-level security meeting following the attacks.
Unconfirmed reports suggest the number of casualties may rise."Link: www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-india-21537197As a result of these bombings the police were out in force. Checking and rechecking people, places and anything suspicious. Loud speakers in the streets gave out warnings and asked for people to extra vigilant and to report anything unusual. Police on foot, bikes, motorbikes, cars and trucks paroled the streets. It is estimated that around 40% of the the population in Hyderabad is Islamic. This was very much in evidence and could be seen as we walked the streets. I had read that this was the largest number in the whole of India. People in the city were not all that friendly. Everyone seemed to looking over their shoulders, and waiting... for what, I am not sure. my kids and I agreed that the whole place was like a ticking bomb, something was going to happen. In fact maybe it was past that phase already, something had already happened. It seemed to me that any city or place that had a large number of Muslim people, there was conflicts and unrest. We felt it in Mumbai and it was here too, but on a much larger scale. Everyone was on edge, short tempered and only there to do their business, not to make friends. An atmosphere of 'trust no one' was in the air. We were asked more than once if we were Muslim. We politely told them no, just visitors that is all. There was a very solid division and you were either 'one of them' or 'one of us'. We were neither. I couldn't wait to leave this mess of a place. I felt like we were in the middle of a war zone. And this was one of the things I had worried about before coming on this trip. Accidentally getting involved in some kind of conflict between people fighting their own battles. Something else that I noticed, perhaps insignificant - was that it was easy to tell (most of the time) the Islamic people from the Hindus and others. They just looked different, had a different coloring, look and way of dressing. Some of the Islamic men were very eye-catching. (I would notice that wouldn't I? ) A few more photos I took while there: View from our hotel window: And at night time: We had found this hotel after walking around for a while. The second room they showed us seemed okay to begin with. But once we saw it properly we realized that the bathroom was literally falling apart. And then down below from our third floor window, was a public place to pee! Eeeww.
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Post by htmb on Oct 10, 2013 2:13:03 GMT
I can certainly see why you felt very uncomfortable while in Hyderabad. When did you arrive in the city in relation to the bombings?
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Post by Deleted on Oct 10, 2013 14:05:25 GMT
It was about a month after the bombings. So a fair amount of time had gone by, but the atmosphere was still uneasy and kind of volatile.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 11, 2013 17:17:04 GMT
Getting out of Hyderabad was not going to be easy. When we inquired at the train station about tickets to Aurangabad, we were told there wasn't any available for about 3 weeks! Oh no. So what to do? There was always the bus or a private car. The private car was going to be expensive, and I was sure, as had happened before, we would have charges added on as we continued to drive. More hassles, more scams, I just didn't want it or need it. What to do? After talking to the personal at the train station and explaining our situation, we were informed that if we wanted to pay extra, we could by-pass the queue for tickets. Yes please! We'll do it. They needed photo-copies of our passports and visas (I have no idea why), but after a long wait, we did manage to get tickets out of Hyderabad the very next day. Money talks. Man, does it ever. So we had a whole day to explore. What was there to see? We decided on going to see the Charminar. A little information about his famous structure: "The Charminar, built in 1591 AD, is as much the signature of Hyderabad as the Taj Mahal is of Agra or the Eiffel Tower is of Paris. The English name is a transliteration and combination of the Urdu words Char and Minar, translating to "Four Towers"; the eponymous towers are ornate minarets attached and supported by four grand arches. The landmark has become a global icon of Hyderabad, listed among the most recognized structures of India. The Charminar is on the east bank of Musi river. To the northeast lies the Laad Bazaar and in the west end lies the granite-made richly ornamented Makkah Masjid. Charminar has the signature style of Islamic architecture. This great tribute to aesthetics looks sturdy and solid from a distance and, as one moves closer, it emerges as an elegant and romantic edifice proclaiming its architectural eminence in all its detail and dignity. Charminar is a beautiful and impressive square monument. The structure is made of granite, limestone, mortar and pulverised marble. Initially the monument with its four arches was so proportionately planned that when the fort was opened one could catch a glimpse of the bustling Hyderabad city as these Charminar arches were facing the most active royal ancestral streets. There is also a legend of an underground tunnel connecting the Golkonda to Charminar, possibly intended as an escape route for the Qutb Shahi rulers in case of a siege, though the location of the tunnel is unknown. Surroundings In its heyday, the Charminar market had some 15,000 shops. Today the famous markets known as Laad Baazar and Pather Gatti, near the Charminar, are a favour, of tourists and locals alike for jewellery, especially known for exquisite bangles and pearls respectively. In 2007, Hyderabadi Muslims living in Pakistan constructed a small-scaled quasi replica of the Charminar at the main crossing of the Bahadurabad neighborhood in Karachi." How did we get there? By rickshaw. It was a long crazy ride, crossing many busy streets and roads. Our driver was a young man who talked constantly about his family and kids. I was surprised at how many he had at such a young age. I could hardly understand a word of what he was saying, the communication between us was haphazard to say the least. But he did get us there and then offered to take us back after awards. The market place around the Charminar was busy. Noisy, busy, congested with traffic and people. Made me want to just quickly see the place and leave. Which is what we did. Unfortunately it was prayer time, and the guards at the gate of the building told us we could not come in. There was always the possibility that in such crowded conditions my sons and I could lose each other. So just to be safe, we always carried around a card from our hotel in each city we were in at the time. If any of us ever got lost, we could simply get a rickshaw (or taxi - although I avoided them like the plague if possible), and ask them to take us to the address on the card. At times we would go off to places (shops and markets close by) by ourselves, and we never had any problems, although my sons didn't like the fact that I was alone out there, they knew that I could take care of myself. We also had a couple of cell phones, which helped a great deal. However Hyderabad was one city, I was quite happy to see while in a group. A few photos I took of the area and the building: The rickshaw takes us over the Hussain Sagar lake, river towards the Charminar area. Here is a picture of the Buddha Statue which stands in the midst of the waters there: As you can see the market area surrounding the Charminar is very busy and crowded: Security is high of course: I was disappointed at not being able to see the inside of the building, but I didn't want to wait until the long prayer time was over, so we just set off back to the direction of our hotel. The next day, we gathered our few belongings up and waited at the station to board our train to Aurangabad. I was looking forward to being there and seeing the famous caves. This was to be an interesting train ride. In our compartment was a woman travelling alone, her son asked us to keep on eye on her before he left, which we promised we would. And then boarded a really nice lady and her young son. This woman was a teacher and both her and her son were very interesting and pleasant company. We talked throughout the train journey and I learned quite a bit from this intelligent, charming woman. My son took out his lap-top and we showed her some of the photos of our trip so far and some of Canada that we had taken at some point in time before coming to India. She was fascinated by Canadian coins and we gave her a few to add to her collection. We exchanged contact information and promised to stay in touch. She told me that if I was ever in India again I was more than welcome to stay with her and her family. I was not feeling well by the time we had boarded the train. This was not the usual tummy buy thing that came and went. I was itchy all over and sitting on the plastic covered seats did not help at all. Or maybe the itchiness started once we had been on the train for a while. I'm not completely sure, but not a lot to do at that point in time, but suffer through it! I wondered if it could be mosquito bites? We did use mosquito repellent, but it didn't always work, I was doubly worried as my sons and I had not taken any medication previously to prevent malaria. I was told before we left that there was not much chance of catching malaria as it was not the season. Well season or not, the mosquitos were getting worse and worse. Later on, once we had settled into our hotel in Aurangabad, I was in for a surprise.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 11, 2013 18:30:58 GMT
Ah, as your mood improves, so do the photos. Nice!
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Post by Deleted on Oct 11, 2013 19:20:20 GMT
Thank you, K! It does and did get better from then on.
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