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Post by Deleted on Jul 26, 2014 11:28:31 GMT
casimira: I would most definitely want to be cremated. My ashes then divided with half strewn in the Atlantic at my favorite beach where I grew up (not far from our family farm) in NY. The other half tossed into the Mississippi River close by our home here after a Jazz funeral winding through the streets of my neighborhood ending at the river where there will be music, dancing, great food,(maybe a crawfish boil if they are in season), and lots of stories, (even the ones I hated), and Polish jokes told by my dear friend who relentlessly has done so for about 30 years now.
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Post by lola on Jul 26, 2014 13:58:42 GMT
I find your comments touching, everyone! May that long home be a long time coming for us all.
I love the Frieda Lawrence story. I say that's the spirit: let the dead bury the dead -- though I realize this has practical limitations -- and concentrate on the living. Antigone got into her trouble by fussing over her brother's body.
Ideally evaporate at death, avoiding the embarrassment of leaving a corpse behind. Or, even better, just ascend into heaven.
My older sister is making me nervous lately by obsessing from the East Coast over maintenance our family plots, a rural one from the 1800's and the other in our home town. Her research shows that we have guaranteed free spots in the Otter Creek one, for the cost of $400 hole-digging and a winding sheet. I have the impression that the funeral industry gets its embalming oar in at some point, by law, even if a person is cremated. This drives up the cost.
I suppose it's most thoughtful of our survivors to think about this in advance. An old family friend and I have twice driven the three hours to our hometown for funerals. He's a wonderful public speaker, and I extracted his promise to say a few words at my final festivities; that's as far as I've gotten with planning.
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Post by mich64 on Aug 13, 2014 19:40:05 GMT
Friday we will be attending the funeral of a dear friend and co-worker of my husband. He died this morning after being removed from life support on Monday, he was 45. He was involved in a motorcycle accident last Friday afternoon and was flown by helicopter to a trauma center about an hour and a half drive from here. Fellow Firefighters were making the trip back and forth each day supporting the family and saying their good byes to their dear brother. A full dress, honor guard funeral will held.
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Post by cheerypeabrain on Aug 13, 2014 20:24:51 GMT
I'm sorry for your loss dear Mich. X
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Post by htmb on Aug 13, 2014 23:55:16 GMT
I'm so very sorry, Mich.
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Post by lugg on Sept 27, 2014 7:36:59 GMT
So sorry Mich , tragic x
I like the idea of a tree sprouting from my remains too. Last week I had to have a root canal and I heard several bizarre stories being swapped between dentist and assistant. One was this ...
When a particular song came on the dentist said something along the lines of ...." Its a long time since I heard this, last time we were sat on top of a hill in the Peak District firing a rocket into the sky" Dental assistant " Was it bonfire night or a birthday?" Dentist " Neither it was my father in laws ashes "
I had never heard of this before so had a look - seemingly there are fireworks for the flamboyant personality or the more serene
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Post by Deleted on Sept 28, 2014 1:26:11 GMT
casimira: That's about the coolest thing I've ever seen Lugg!
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Post by mich64 on Sept 28, 2014 13:23:23 GMT
Thank you for the condolences for our dear friend.
Pretty spectacular way of dispersing ashes Lugg!
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Post by Deleted on Sept 28, 2014 15:28:54 GMT
kerouac2: Looking for something else, I finally saw my biological father's grave on findagrave.com I always wondered where it was.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 28, 2014 15:38:22 GMT
Looking for something else, I finally saw my biological father's grave on findagrave.com I always wondered where it was. casimira: Had you contacted me when you were here Kerouac, I would have found it. I have an uncanny ability for locating graves. Maybe next trip....
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Post by Deleted on Sept 28, 2014 16:01:11 GMT
kerouac2 : I always wonder who takes the photos of all of these graves of totally unfamous people. I bet that in lots of cases, not a single person ever consults the photo.
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Post by rikita on Oct 17, 2014 22:30:54 GMT
burial. whether family plot or alone or eco grave i can't say. so i can't vote in the poll.
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Post by kerouac2 on Aug 11, 2018 15:41:29 GMT
I have to return to the ancestral village before long. The family friend who took care of the two family tombs (with payment twice a year for flowers -- Easter and All Saints Day are the important cemetery dates in France -- died several months ago, so now it is all up to me. Poor Gertrude even washed at least ten of the tombs every week. Her in-laws and, more importantly, her daughter, are in the cemetery. After all, it is not a major job and it probably guarantees a pretty good place in heaven for the believers. I'm not sure what happens to the rest of us.
In reality, I don't believe that it is important at all to take care of the tombs, but I am always happy to have an excuse to go somewhere.
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Post by questa on Aug 12, 2018 1:04:50 GMT
I read somewhere recently of one idea that has me thinking... The departed person was a great traveller as were his family and friends. They had a memorial service and a wake, after which the urn was placed on a table with small seal-able plastic bags and a spoon. The guests were invited to take a small amount of ashes in a bag and on their travels release them in interesting places all around the world, then let his family know where. There followed a list of places where the ashes were scattered and the departed certainly covered much of the world.
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Post by lagatta on Aug 12, 2018 13:10:51 GMT
I was wondering if somehow cremated ashes could be grouped and used as fertiliser for trees or a garden. By the way, Renzo's remains were cremated along with a "batch" of pets who had died that week, and buried. I didn't want to pay more for an individual urn, but I'm glad he didn't become dog or cat food.
Graves can be useful for historians and anthropologists. But there are just so many that they have to be recycled! The huge increase in human population obvously means an increase in number of dead, despite the much longer life expectancy in many countries of the world.
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Post by whatagain on Aug 12, 2018 13:36:18 GMT
Well we booked our tombs 10 years ago. Next to our son. My father in law then reserved the tomb next to us. I don't like it that much but I figure he won't be snoring so why not.
I like the idea of cremations and dispersing ashes. But our son didn't want and somehow he decided for us. We were not going to leave him on his own.
We put a lot of plants and no stone. Some months ago I put his picture. About time. It is actually a lovely place. It is a small solace.
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Post by bixaorellana on Aug 12, 2018 15:30:54 GMT
I am usually pretty unsentimental about resting spots, Whatagain, but your post made me cry.
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Post by kerouac2 on Aug 12, 2018 15:57:46 GMT
Perhaps the tradition of Muertos should be extended to Belgium to make it a happier time.
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Post by whatagain on Aug 12, 2018 20:36:33 GMT
I didn't realise Bixa that it would make you cry. More proof you are s good person. Sometimes Kerouac we ate pizza at the cemetery.
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DianeMP
member
Offline
I will take photos of just about anything, anywhere!
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Post by DianeMP on Aug 13, 2018 8:55:05 GMT
Greetings from smokey, hot Oregon! I haven't been here in ages, so I guess it's weirdly appropriate that I reappear in this particular post. Last fall I took a little 10-day trip to the coast, to Crescent City, California where I was born. I had a slight notion of the hospital where I was born, but of course it was no longer on the ocean bluff that I vaguely remembered (nope, don't remember my birth, but do remember having my tonsils out at age 5). I happened to strike up a conversation with two Yurok men. One asked why I was visiting from Klamath Falls, one thing led to another and I mentioned I was born in the old hospital in Crescent City. Coincidentally, so was he. He told me where the site was, now occupied by a hotel, and I drove there the next day. There was the hotel...and there was the beach just below. I surprised myself by feeling moved. Intensely wistful, happy, thinking of the 69 year winding path that led back to that beach, from September, 1947 to October, 2017. It wasn't until I got home that I thought of it as my final resting place, where my son can toss my ashes into the surf. Or, into the kelp, I don't care. Might as well go full circle.
We're all at risk of losing a friend, or someone even closer, or ourselves leaving this earth any minute. Peace to all.
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Post by bixaorellana on Aug 13, 2018 14:11:23 GMT
Hello Diane! It's a great pleasure to see you here again. And you've added to that pleasure and to this thread enormously with that very thoughtful post. Beautiful photograph of a beautiful place. What a great idea to make a full circle of your journey on this earth. Thanks for this and for the message at the end.
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Post by Kimby on Aug 13, 2022 2:04:15 GMT
...."It’s a long time, last time (I heard this song) we were sat on top of a hill in the Peak District firing a rocket into the sky" "Was it bonfire night or a birthday?" “Neither, it was my father in law’s ashes.” I had never heard of this before so had a look - seemingly there are fireworks for the flamboyant personality or the more serene My Dad was a hunter all his life, and as he aged he would joke “When I die, I want my ashes packed in shotgun shells and fired out over the marsh” (at the family farm he grew up on and loved his whole life). When he died, I took his ashes home to Montana from Wisconsin where a friend who shoots had a friend who “reloads” shotgun shells. I watched as he loaded up a whole box of shells. My sister found a shotgun of Dad’s and had it checked out for functionality and safety, and 6 months after his death, we shot his ashes out over that marsh. He would have loved it. We also shot some of Dad’s shells over the Wisconsin River at the family cabin (and buried some ashes with the remains of his three hunting dogs in the Doggy Graveyard there. Where we later put mom’s ashes and then some of our little sister Ricky’s ashes.) We saved a few shotgun shells to give to the sons of Dad’s departed hunting buddies to take on a pheasant hunt in South Dakota and a duck hunt along the Mississippi River. And his only grandchild fired the last shotgun shell over his favorite run at Powderhorn Mountain, a ski area in Upper Michigan that he and Mom frequented. (All the runs have firearms-inspired names: Trigger, Cannonball, Musket, etc.) When my sister asked for permission to do this, the ski patrol enthusiastically participated, running my sister and niece up the mountain after quitting time on a snowmobile so K. could fire Grandpa’s ashes over his favorite run there: Ricochet.
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Post by whatagain on Aug 13, 2022 21:45:55 GMT
Hi Found this pic fitting on this thread. We found this and my daughter corrected the text. Funny ? Maybe...
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Post by lugg on Aug 13, 2022 21:53:54 GMT
Gosh Kimby - I had to re read my post from 2014 to recollect.
But moving on to your post - What a lovely way to honour your fathers last wishes and to celebrate his life
Whilst back on this thread in 2014 I barely thought about it re planning for me, but now several years later I am making plans ( actually that's not correct - starting to think about making plans is more accurate.) I do know, no church or any other service , keep it as financially cheap as possible, ecologically sound, and donations instead to the wonderful hospice that I am I lucky to have in my village who cared so well for my Mum . That's as far as I have got ....
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Post by questa on Aug 13, 2022 22:56:39 GMT
That is pretty well where I am as well, Lugg. I am "still looking" for a secular mob that will do all the running around and paper-work for a pittance. My sons may tell a few lies in lieu of eulogies but the main thing will be my chosen music. Before I tell what I have selected, what music would anyporters like to have at their send-off? Any genre...
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Post by bixaorellana on Aug 14, 2022 4:22:01 GMT
Kimby, that is a singular, fitting, and beautiful send off you all gave your dad.
That is some dark humor there, Whatagain, but whatever works. Grief doesn't go away, it just gets dealt with however we can.
That idea about the donations is lovely, Lugg. I still maintain that I don't care what happens to my remains, so whatever makes my survivors happy is what I'll wind up getting. I'm resigned to the fact that a religious service might be involved.
Questa, I suppose you've chosen something that will reflect your personality. Something specifically Australian?
The only thing I've ever said I want played at my send off is Jerry Lee Lewis's "Hold Lotta Shaking Going On", just because.
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Post by mossie on Aug 14, 2022 6:59:27 GMT
I want to be cremated and the music to be Gracie Fields singing "Wish me luck as you wave me goodbye"
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Post by onlyMark on Aug 14, 2022 8:10:07 GMT
Not bothered. I'm dead so don't care. Whatever is the cheapest and most convenient for disposing of my body for whoever is sorting it.
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Post by mickthecactus on Aug 14, 2022 8:23:15 GMT
Nor us. We don’t want a funeral either and have already made arrangements.
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Post by cheerypeabrain on Aug 14, 2022 19:47:03 GMT
BiL had a lovely funeral. Wicker casket, natural burial, a playlist, lots of aging hippies reminiscing and throwing flowers onto the casket...dancing. Then off to his favourite pub where he had arranged for us to polish off his whisky collection and drink his fine coffee.
I may have mentioned it before...my youngest son and I have a running joke about him building me a long barrow (with artefacts of course)..but whatever they want to do is fine. I won't be there to worry about it...I've got an insurance plan that pays out to my nearest and dearest when I shuffle off this mortal coil. Enough to pay for the disposal of my remains with some left over for an after show party.
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