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Post by questa on Aug 15, 2022 10:10:43 GMT
That sounds like a fabulous funeral, cheery. What was done for feeding the guests? I went to a funeral for a much admired and generous-with-his-help senior doctor. His sister was running the show and forked out for 6 packets of biscuits. I can't understand, she was mostly a sweetie...put it down to grief.
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Post by cheerypeabrain on Aug 15, 2022 10:52:15 GMT
There was a vegan buffet Questa...my SiL worked at the pub as a cook for years and they provided the food.
I took a lot of photos, which sounds terrible but it was a lovely, mellow slightly drunken event. I posted the photos (none were taken at the graveside of course) on here somewhere but I'm buggered if I can find them!
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Post by bixaorellana on Aug 15, 2022 15:00:19 GMT
I took a lot of photos, which sounds terrible but it was a lovely, mellow slightly drunken event. I posted the photos (none were taken at the graveside of course) on here somewhere but I'm buggered if I can find them! I can't find them either, Cheery, and I would swear on a stack of memorial cards that I saw those pictures! Here is your description of that funeral. Admittedly, you paint excellent word pictures, but are they enough to have created false memories in both our little heads? I wouldn't think so. (Blah blah blah, p. 168, reply #5033) anyportinastorm.proboards.com/post/319855/thread
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Post by cheerypeabrain on Aug 15, 2022 18:50:26 GMT
I looked again..nufink. I'll have a butchers on my laptop later...
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Post by patricklondon on Aug 15, 2022 19:24:14 GMT
I must say, I dither about this. Sometimes, I think I might follow the lead of my sister-in-law's mother, who left her body to science. That way, no-one in the family has to worry about the disposal - they'll have enough to do clearing my flat (assuming I'm still in it by then) - and they can please themselves about any sort of event. But then, I remember reading something about the environmental impact of cremations, and I rather like the idea of woodland burials, except that the nearest place is quite a journey away. If we could only just dematerialise somehow.... My blog | My photos | My video clips | My Librivox recordings"too literate to be spam"
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Post by lugg on Aug 15, 2022 20:23:41 GMT
If we could only just dematerialise somehow.... That would be perfect and possibly an option long after we are all gone.
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Post by questa on Aug 15, 2022 22:43:04 GMT
I looked again..nufink. I'll have a butchers on my laptop later... Apart from you Poms, I may have been the only one on here who could understand that post!
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Post by mickthecactus on Aug 16, 2022 5:54:44 GMT
I looked again..nufink. I'll have a butchers on my laptop later... Apart from you Poms, I may have been the only one on here who could understand that post! For the confused it’s rhyming slang, butchers hook , look.
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Post by questa on Aug 16, 2022 6:28:44 GMT
Used by Oz POWs in Japanese camps. As the key words could be changed it became an almost unbreakable code.
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Post by questa on Aug 16, 2022 6:36:51 GMT
If we could only just dematerialise somehow.... Do you mean like Hiroshima and Nagasaki? I foresee possible complications with this method
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Post by kerouac2 on Aug 16, 2022 7:35:23 GMT
In The Avengers Endgame, several billion people suddenly turned into dust.
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Post by onlyMark on Aug 16, 2022 9:18:42 GMT
For those in England and Wales, it is possible, if you so would like it, to plant your body on private land, e.g. in your own garden. Relatively straight forward, no planning permission or special licences needed - www.naturaldeath.org.uk/index.php?page=home-burial
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Post by patricklondon on Aug 16, 2022 10:54:46 GMT
For those in England and Wales, it is possible, if you so would like it, to plant your body on private land, e.g. in your own garden. Relatively straight forward, no planning permission or special licences needed - But your heirs might consider it blasphemy against the god of property values.
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Post by kerouac2 on Aug 16, 2022 11:09:06 GMT
When I was little, next to our house there was an unused grassy field although I do remember that one year at least, it was a watermelon patch. In one corner of the lot there was always a small area where the grass was absolutely lush at all times, even when the rest of the field had turned dry and brown. My mother explained "that's where they buried the calf."
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Post by onlyMark on Aug 16, 2022 20:07:57 GMT
Patrick, for certain. Maybe you just don't tell anyone when you come to sell it.
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Post by lugg on Aug 16, 2022 20:22:51 GMT
Do you mean like Hiroshima and Nagasaki? I foresee possible complications with this method Ha no certainly not something gentle and not detrimental to the planet.
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Post by Kimby on Aug 17, 2022 15:22:04 GMT
Kimby, that is a singular, fitting, and beautiful send off you all gave your dad. Thanks, Bixa. I neglected to mention that we reserved some ashes of both Mom and Dad and made one last trip to Winter Park Ski Area in Colorado, the scene of eight parent-hosted family ski trips, where we scattered their ashes as we skied down their favorite run, Lonesome Whistle, aka “Lonesome Weasel” in family parlance. And the last of their ashes (well not quite the last) were scattered by their three daughters (when there were still three of us) off a sailboat in the Caribbean on our 2018 trip to St. Croix USVI, as the lady captain blew on a conch shell horn, in memory of the four Caribbean sail cruises Mom and Dad took us on over the years. I still have a tiny jar of their mixed ashes in case another opportunity to honor their memory arises. Or maybe I’ll just have them combined with MY ashes - - and a small vial of Ricky’s ashes I saved from those we buried at the cabin - when my time comes. That’s a comforting thought.
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Post by kerouac2 on Aug 17, 2022 15:58:01 GMT
I am beginning to wonder if all of this gallivanting to scatter ashes is ecological.
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Post by Kimby on Aug 17, 2022 23:48:05 GMT
No air travel is “ecological”. However, I live a lower than average consumption life-style normally, so I think I can be forgiven for these transgressions.
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Post by questa on Aug 17, 2022 23:53:05 GMT
Spoken like a true ecologist, Sir Gallivant...
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Post by Kimby on Aug 18, 2022 14:01:46 GMT
K2 is probably overcompensating for having spent his career working to get people on airplanes.
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Post by cheerypeabrain on Aug 18, 2022 19:11:27 GMT
That sounds like a fabulous funeral, cheery. I found the pics on my laptop ...I will post a couple here of the lovely gathering at his local pub held after the graveside celebration. It was bittersweet...it felt like we should have brought him with us! not particularly thrilling photos...but it was so 'different' it made a huge impression on us.
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Post by kerouac2 on Aug 18, 2022 19:27:25 GMT
Fun funeral.
The last real funeral that I attended was for my grandmother in 1992 (?). We had a group meal beforehand which was very pleasant and not sad at all. It was a big couscous at the home of my grandfather's best friend. Everybody had tons of anecdotes to recount. The only sourpuss was Gertrude, the family friend who felt that she had been spurned. She made a point of buying the meat for the couscous "because those Algerians will only get the cheap stuff." So you can see where she was coming from.
The church ceremony was a nightmare for me, since I had been strongarmed into doing the Bible reading for the 100 people in the church. (My mother had told the priest whom we had never met "no way am I ever going to do that!")
And then we had the reception -- brioche and coffee -- for everybody in the village assembly hall. Never again!
My father's urn was deposited in the family grave with no ceremony, and I did the same for my mother. I'm certain that Gertrude decided that I was going to hell, but now she's dead, too.
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Post by questa on Aug 18, 2022 22:23:39 GMT
I am pleased to see that funereal black clothes are no longer required.
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Post by bixaorellana on Aug 19, 2022 1:22:03 GMT
I am pleased to see that funereal black clothes are no longer required. My grandmother's father died in 1917 when she was a teenager. Her mother staying in mourning black the rest of her life. The children had to observe it for at least a year. For the rest of her life my grandmother hated black clothing. Right after my grandmother died, my mother(her daughter) and I were on the phone to each other discussing plans & logistics. Right before we hung up I said, "Remember, Mimi always said she didn't want anyone wearing black to her funeral." My mother's response: "Oh hell -- and I look really good in black!"
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Post by bjd on Aug 19, 2022 6:41:17 GMT
I had a factory job in the summer before my final year of high school (late 1960s). One of the girls I was working with was a fairly recent immigrant from Sicily -- she was about 18 and always wore black. I asked her why and she said her father had died and she had to wear black for 2 years and that her mother would wear black until the end of her life.
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Post by questa on Aug 19, 2022 9:38:44 GMT
Victoria Regina has a lot to answer for !
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Post by bjd on Aug 19, 2022 10:46:56 GMT
Victoria Regina has a lot to answer for ! As far as I know, Sicily was never part of the British empire. I believe that are varying traditions about the colour worn for mourning in the world although it's true that Victoria was responsible for the fashion of "widow's weeds" in the empire and in the USA.
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Post by bixaorellana on Aug 19, 2022 17:36:17 GMT
Victoria was responsible for the fashion of "widow's weeds" in the empire and in the USA. The docent in one of the younger-Victoria sections [in Kensington Palace] told me that V's insistence on extended national mourning was actually ruining the British fashion industry until designers & manufacturers decided to incorporate mourning shades as style. This rejuvenated the industry & also led to our contemporary popular perception of a sober-colored Victorian era. source
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Post by kerouac2 on Aug 19, 2022 18:02:33 GMT
When my grandfather died, my grandmother didn't have any black clothes, but she was prepared to get some. Luckily my mother forbade it, explained how ridiculous it was and my grandmother continued to wear her normal clothes. There was probably both disapproval and support in the village. Who cares?
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