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Post by htmb on Oct 22, 2020 17:40:33 GMT
I did the same thing when I was 26, after learning I was carrying twins. After my doctors appointment, I sat in the car, stunned, and tried to think through where I’d left my car keys. They were on the outside of the car door, of course.
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Post by tod2 on Mar 13, 2021 18:28:57 GMT
Due to the heat and remaining indoors all day I decided to get stuck in to the boxes and bags filled with my late mothers personal papers. Old bank statements, returned cheques, Insurance policies....you get the drift. Not only boring way out of date stuff, but letters from friends and her sisters, my neices- her grandchildren, when they were sailing around the world, and a lot of cards. My mother kept every birthday, mothers day, and Xmas card. But after hours of ripping up pages and pages my hand pulled out a very heavy Lever-Arch file. I flipped it open and found it contained my late fathers Will, an itemised account from the Funeral home, and several other old bills and settlements. But right on top facing me as I flipped it open was a piece of paper in my mother's hand writing. I started to read it and nearly fell off my chair. It was a last goodbye to all her family. Now my mother passed away at the grand old age of 93 in December 2013. This letter was dated 10.30pm, Friday, 15th November, 1996. It read as follows:
"To my Family - I feel so strange tonight, so waterlogged, my body feels swollen and my brain has a dull ache - I hope I shan't have a stroke or something terrible happen. In any case I just want you all to know that I love every one of you dearly and trust that the Lord Jesus will be with you all and that all bitterness will disappear and only love and goodwill remain with you all and between you all. With God anything is possible and I'm banking on that - there is so much good in all of you. Love one another. D (my father), God Bless you - thank you for your love. God bless you all my children and grandchildren. Love from M."
I read it several times. What did it mean. Was my mother feeling so ill she thought she was dying? Why didn't she ring the doctor or me? The sentences referring to bitterness and loving one another could have been a message for some members of the family that had fallen out. I always knew my parents were caught in the middle when it came to family arguments, but until now I didn't realise the terrific strain they were under. I wish I could have re-assured them and especially my mother, that it will all work out in the end but I know it caused her great sadness. She was very Anglican Church and her faith never wavered. She was kind and loving and sacrificed much in her life. Finding this letter was a shock to me but I must remember it all happened so very long ago.
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Post by bixaorellana on Mar 13, 2021 18:37:20 GMT
❤️ ❤️ That is lovely, Tod, and I can definitely see why it would affect you the way it did. After all, you knew your mother in many stages of her life, so the identification with what she wrote must be very strong. Even though a rather sad letter, it's quite beautiful and quite a treasure.
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Post by htmb on Mar 13, 2021 18:48:10 GMT
It IS a treasure, marking a moment in time. I imagine you must have mixed feelings about it turning up after all these years.
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Post by lugg on Mar 13, 2021 20:40:24 GMT
Yes a treasure Tod and hope you see it in that way too after reflecting.
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Post by questa on Mar 13, 2021 23:42:21 GMT
Got me thinking...I would like to write a similar letter to my family, but I would write a fresh version every year...on my birthday?? To the son who married the loveliest woman I have ever met, who gave me such thoughtful and funny grandchildren. To the son who has chosen to walk the world, independent of all except a few friends and a love of Nature.
To my distant brother with whom I lost touch when we were kids and his wife and 3 daughters whom I hardly know. I'm proud of you and your success in the world, even though it was not a road I would have taken.
There, that will do for now. There must be a place for the dozens of friends who have kept me going for 78 years. May there be beautiful days for you all.
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Post by htmb on Mar 13, 2021 23:55:24 GMT
Somewhere here I have written about a letter I found a couple of years ago. It was sealed and unaddressed, but inside my mother had written all our names. My mother died of cancer in 1992, and the letter was composed about nine months earlier. It was a total surprise and the things said in the letter will always be treasured by me and my children. Truly a gift. It wasn’t anything we didn’t already know, but was a reinforcement of her feelings for us.
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Post by bixaorellana on Mar 14, 2021 3:04:49 GMT
Gosh, Htmb -- that must have felt like having your mother put her hand directly on to your heart.
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Post by whatagain on Mar 14, 2021 16:13:42 GMT
Beautiful,you all.
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Post by tod2 on Nov 24, 2021 14:07:17 GMT
Some time ago I read a newspaper article which alerted me to something new in the life of a really elderly person. It went like this:
Baby Catherine's eyes are the bluest blue - Like when cut glass meets a clear Johannesburg winter sky. "Isn't she just beautiful", the old lady exclaims gazing down at what looks like an infant in her arms. Baby Catherine doesn't blink as she stares back at the 92 yr old grandmother. It's enough to melt your heart. You see baby Catherine is a doll, she isn't human and Granny is fully aware of it. Still, she coos at the doll, talks to her gently and lifts her up to nuzzle her face.
Catherine is a Reborn doll, a brand of doll custom made to be life-like in appearance and weight. They're created from moulded silicone and memory foam, It gives the dolls the right kind of "squishy", mimicking the texture of human baby flesh. But it's not just that she seems real - baby Catherine has become a version of real for the Gran, especially in a year of Covid-19 lockdowns that has recalibrated human interactions and taken a toll in loneliness and isolation, especially on older people.
It's through Catherine (Gran is quick to point out), that the great grandmother has been able to find real-life connections and a sense of community. Catherine has also become an unexpected thread of kindness and healing.
To be continued......
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Post by kerouac2 on Nov 24, 2021 14:57:02 GMT
When we start down the path to second childhood, we deserve new toys. Apparently ordinary dolls work just as well in quite a few nursing homes. There are never any articles about toys for the old men, so I guess they are all dead before they reach that point.
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Post by tod2 on Nov 24, 2021 16:19:45 GMT
Baby Catherine continued....
Grans daughter, Lynne, explains how baby Catherine came to be her mothers "baby". In the winter of 2020 she bought two Reborn Dolls. One for her granddaughter and one for herself, with the idea that they would bond while playing with the dolls. At the time, Lynne was preparing to re-locate to Saudi Arabia. She was excited about the new chapter in her life but she knew it would also mean the inevitable sadness of fracturing family bonds in South Africa.
Ït was especially difficult to leave mum. " In more ways than one, I'm her real baby - her last born and her only daughter now" . Her mother lives in a Retirement Village. "My mother met Catherine for the first time when Lockdown restrictions were finally lifted and she could visit us. She fell in love instantly with baby Catherine. That weekend she took Catherine with her everywhere, At the end of the visit her daughter said to her that Catherine should be her baby. I told her to look after her until someday in the future Catherine comes back to me".
Grans carer said the doll has become a fixture in Grans home = most days taking up a comfy armchair whilst tucked in to a pink baby blanket. She was real to Gran so the carer treated her like a real little baby. She relates when Gran fusses over Catherine in choosing an outfit for her to wear, or combing her auburn hair, looking for her pacifier or changing a nappy, it becomes a form of caring and emotional bonding.
The End
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Post by Kimby on Sept 4, 2022 17:18:04 GMT
Tod, this makes me feel happy and sad at the same time…
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Post by Kimby on Sept 4, 2022 17:28:44 GMT
A life passage I wasn’t expecting. The door has been closed on there ever being another child in my family line.
Following the overturning of Roe v. Wade by the US Supreme Court, the only child of my only surviving sibling has had Fallopian tubes removed. This is the irreversible version of female sterilization.
We knew K was with a partner who never wanted kids, but K once talked about “when I have kids.”
Now K will be marrying this partner in November, and has had this surgery, so being a great aunt is off the table for me. (Actually being an Aunt has been pretty minimal lately as K goes their own way at age 30.)
My sister will never be a grandma and she is so perfectly qualified to be a grandma.
Fortunately her recent marriage, 5 years after being widowed, will provide her with ample opportunities to be a grandma. His family - 3 sons and 2 grands, so far - already loves her, calls her “a miracle”.
I’m so happy for her.
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Post by tod2 on Feb 26, 2023 10:25:23 GMT
I have started the process of trying to obtain a British Passport. I did so some years ago and still cannot remember why I never continued with the process. Anyway this morning I received an email from the powers that be in the UK telling me I have a 95%-99% chance. I am too nervous to get excited but I know I am! This is a HUGE deal for me as my husband already qualifies as his father is UK born and bred. Please cross all your fingers and toes for me .....This coming week I will be consulting with a passport firm who hopefully can help me further.
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Post by mickthecactus on Feb 26, 2023 10:48:43 GMT
It's quite ironic because those that can want Irish passports...
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Post by kerouac2 on Feb 26, 2023 11:47:03 GMT
That's what I was thinking, too.
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Post by bixaorellana on Feb 26, 2023 14:44:56 GMT
Tod! I am so happy for you & hope the company you're seeing can make the process swift & easy.
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Post by kerouac2 on Feb 26, 2023 15:49:51 GMT
Buy a box of chocolates for Rishi.
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Post by tod2 on Feb 28, 2023 12:34:01 GMT
Oh goodness! I have been requested to forward a scanned copy of my birth certificate to the Passport people who deal with applications. I cannot do this at home so have sent Mr Tod to my sons office where he has all kinds off proper equipment for the job. Ooooh! This is big! Please please Mr. UK Government tell me I'm still British....
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Post by kerouac2 on Feb 28, 2023 12:47:46 GMT
Things are moving fast. That's usually good news.
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Post by htmb on Feb 28, 2023 13:26:40 GMT
This is exciting news, tod. Good luck!
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Post by lugg on Feb 28, 2023 19:57:42 GMT
Very best of luck Tod x
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Post by tod2 on Mar 2, 2023 12:40:14 GMT
No more news. I hope some elderly person in the passport office in UK has heard of BOAC and thinks that counts towards my obtaining a passport. According to my mother, everyone who worked for BOAC was regarded as British. Those were the days of Flying Boats on Lake Victoria....and maybe a little White Mischief..
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Post by onlyMark on Mar 2, 2023 13:32:48 GMT
The stopping point for Nairobi was Lake Naivasha - where my father was at boarding school on the shores. He used to watch them coming in.
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Post by Kimby on Mar 2, 2023 21:47:40 GMT
We watched the flamingos coming in…
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Post by bjd on Mar 3, 2023 7:28:00 GMT
We drank Tusker beer at Fisherman's Camp and were told not to go near the water in the evening because of the hippos.
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Post by tod2 on Apr 14, 2023 12:42:10 GMT
My British Passport application seems to be moving forward in the right direction! They want money.....
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Post by htmb on Apr 14, 2023 13:57:33 GMT
That’s often a good sign.
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Post by bixaorellana on Apr 14, 2023 15:27:19 GMT
What Bjd said. Fingers crossed for you, Tod!
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