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Post by cheerypeabrain on Dec 1, 2020 21:43:34 GMT
I don't know if I've mentioned this before...it's a nice story tho...If I have I'll just delete it.
In 1956 my family lived on a large council estate in Leicester. Dad worked as a design engineer supporting his wife and 4 children. We were known on the street as being rather odd, we had a large telescope in the front garden and whilst all the local kids went to the secondary modern my big sisters went on the bus to the posh grammar school (they looked like St Trinians girls in their uniforms). The children all had piano lessons and my parents had the local amateur astronomical society meetings at our house. Also we had books all over the house, There were bookshelves in the living room and all the bedrooms.
Anyway...my Mother went into labour at around 6pm. As was normal in the fifties she took to her bed, the delivery pack had been left at the house ready on the midwife's last visit. The eldest child, my sister Pat (12) was sent to call the midwife whilst Dad looked after the other children. To keep himself and his 2 other daughters and son busy, Dad set up the telescope to view the planet Jupiter (there is some despute over whether it was Jupiter or Mars).
The midwife rocked up on her bike, was shown upstairs and decided that Mum had a few hours yet before the delivery...but for some reason she decided to call in our doctor. Pat was duly sent to telephone the GP whilst the midwife nipped down to have a look through the telescope to see what all the fuss was about. Having never seen the planets through a telescope she was fascinated, my Dad knew lots about astronomy and was very good at explaining the night sky...when the Doctor arrived he too was distracted by the telescope...then some of the neighbours turned up and had a look too...by now it was gone 9pm. There was quite a party going on in our front garden. It was dark, the sky was clear...Pat and Sue were sent to make cups of tea...
My mother delivered me by herself. No assistance at all. The midwife remembered why she had been called when everybody heard a baby crying (me). Luckily Mum was OK and altho she made light of it she admitted to me when I was a grown up that it was a very traumatic experience (made worse by the fact that she didn't give birth to a boy).
I think my Dad felt guilty because later that week he bought Mum her first washing machine...no more hand washing, our recent discussion about early washing machines reminded me of the story.
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Post by bixaorellana on Dec 1, 2020 21:52:11 GMT
Wow, what a story! I know you never told that before, because it's not something anyone would forget hearing.
I love the way you told it, too -- I could see each thing as you related it. At heart it's an amusing piece of your family's history, but it's also a little horrifying. Obviously your mother was capable and didn't need assistance, but surely she needed reassurance and a bit of a helping hand.
And the fact that the midwife had some doubt that made her send for the doctor makes their ignoring of the patient even worse. I sure hope your father didn't pay the midwife or the doctor!
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Post by mich64 on Dec 2, 2020 0:14:00 GMT
That is an amazing birth story Cheery! A story told many times by your mom and dad I am sure.
My mother almost delivered me by herself as well. I was supposed to be a January 1st baby but labor did not come until the morning of the 2nd. Once my mom arrived at the hospital my dad dropped her at the nursing station, there were then two problems, the first was because it was shift change, the second was there was reduced staff due to the holidays. My mom sat in a wheelchair to wait for the nurses to change shifts when the doctor checked on her and said it was time to go, he instructed her to kick open the delivery room doors and then to get herself onto the gurney then it was just the two of them until I arrived.
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Post by htmb on Dec 2, 2020 2:17:44 GMT
Oh, my goodness! What wonderful, amazing stories from you both! It sounds like you each had pretty amazing mothers. If I had been your mother, Cheery, the “telescope party” group would have later gotten an earful from me!
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Post by bixaorellana on Dec 2, 2020 4:00:11 GMT
Gosh, Mich ~ you were almost put "on hold"!
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Post by kerouac2 on Dec 2, 2020 5:28:17 GMT
Clearly you are a star, Cheery, so the astronomy part of the story is very appropriate.
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Post by bjd on Dec 2, 2020 7:03:32 GMT
Your story probably beats any other, Cheery.
I was born at home too. The midwife came to check on my mother, decided there was still time and got on her bicycle and went home. Meanwhile, my mother went into labour and my father had to call the midwife's house to tell her to pedal back as soon as possible. Fortunately we had a phone.
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Post by onlyMark on Dec 2, 2020 8:06:56 GMT
You've all got very good memories. I was born at home but I don't remember anything about it.
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Post by lugg on Dec 2, 2020 8:18:04 GMT
Your poor mothers Mich and Cheery !
I don't know much about my birth except my Mum had been in hospital for weeks as she had pre-eclampsia and that the weather was very cold and snowy making it difficult for Dad to get to the hoispital at times. Also the day I was born the 1960 Winter Olympics opened in Squaw Valley, California.
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Post by mickthecactus on Dec 2, 2020 13:47:52 GMT
I was born next to Holloway prison.
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Post by htmb on Dec 2, 2020 14:56:55 GMT
My youngest sister was born the same year as you, Lugg. It was during the time in the US when many women delivered babies in the hospital, under anesthesia to "make childbirth easier on the mother." I was eight and remember being totally confused by my mother”s answers to my questions about the birth. She didn’t remember a thing. Drifted off into unconsciousness and woke to having a new baby at her side. I find the whole thing really bizarre.
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Post by kerouac2 on Dec 2, 2020 15:33:49 GMT
My mother always told me that it hurt so much when I was born that she would never forget it. So the year that she forgot my birthday, I knew that the Alzheimer's was fully developed.
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Post by bixaorellana on Dec 2, 2020 17:30:51 GMT
It was during the time in the US when many women delivered babies in the hospital, under anesthesia to "make childbirth easier on the mother." Strangely, I don't remember really understanding there was such a thing as childbirth physically affecting the mother, even though three of my siblings were born when I was 7, 10, and 11 years of age, respectively. When my own child was born, I opted out of anesthesia because it's really bad for the baby & potentially for the mother as well. I have a birthmark on the back of my head. My husband had the same one in the same spot -- not terribly surprising, as the marks were undoubtedly forceps marks. When a baby is delivered of a drugged mother a) the drugs needed to knock out an adult are flowing through the mother's bloodstream right into the tiny baby; and b) the mother cannot participate normally in the birth, meaning forceps get used; and c) each pull of the forceps briefly stops the flow of blood to the baby's brain. I've probably never reached my full intellectual potential because of having been a forceps baby. I believe it was the "regular" way for babies to be born in the US for many years, which may explain all the Trump supporters in the boomer age group. Anyway, the night I was born, which was actually 6 a.m: My dad called his father to tell him of the birth. When grandpa asked if everything was okay, Daddy broke down crying, saying, "She's so ugly!" He apparently saw me when my poor little head was still smushed from the forceps.
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Post by onlyMark on Dec 2, 2020 18:07:43 GMT
My cousin, now the same age as me, was a forceps baby. Was brain damaged by it. Always needed and still needs constant care.
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Post by bjd on Dec 2, 2020 19:07:20 GMT
Interesting that the States has been resorting to over-medicating for decades. I didn't realize that mothers were knocked out. I think that now the spinal anesthetic leaves women awake and aware, even though they have less pain.
I had three kids(still do!) and anesthesia wasn't offered by the maternity hospital if the birth was going normally.
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Post by mossie on Dec 2, 2020 19:43:26 GMT
My youngest brother was born when I was 7 and had had no idea that my mother was pregnant, too young to be told about such things. He was born at home without me knowing anything was going on and so, when my father asked my other brother and I to go into their bedroom, I was extremely surprised and alarmed to see my mother clutching this big doll!
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Post by htmb on Dec 2, 2020 19:46:24 GMT
I bet! What a shock that must have been, Mossie.
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Post by bixaorellana on Dec 2, 2020 20:10:58 GMT
Interesting that the States has been resorting to over-medicating for decades. I didn't realize that mothers were knocked out. I think that now the spinal anesthetic leaves women awake and aware, even though they have less pain. I had three kids(still do!) and anesthesia wasn't offered by the maternity hospital if the birth was going normally. Awake & aware, but with drugs in their systems. I don't know what all was used before epidurals became so popular. Didn't Queen Victoria get ether, or maybe chloroform? There is something called "twilight sleep", which I think was also used in the delivery room. I believe your children were born in France, right? Isn't France a country that doesn't routinely use hospital stays as a way to drain every drop of money from the patient? Poor Mossie! Thinking about it, though, I see no reason to let little kids in on the mystery of childbirth. All those stories about the cabbage patch, the stork, etc. are good enough.
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Post by bjd on Dec 3, 2020 7:17:04 GMT
Yes, my kids were all born in France. At the time, hospital stays for birth were 6 days, but if you were in a private clinic they kept you for 10. So there was some money-draining going on, although I suppose most of it was covered by health insurance.
Nowadays, if there is no problem, women stay 2 or 3 days, which is still longer than is the case in North America.
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Post by questa on Dec 3, 2020 11:16:26 GMT
My mother had been admitted to hospital 8 weeks before I was due as she was coming in and out of labour and they were trying to hold her off a prem birth. My father was too old to be in the forces but was planting onions by many fields as his war effort. Mum held out until I was 6 weeks early which in 1942 was not considered a viable age.
Dad was planting onions when the postman called out across the field,"Your wife has had a girl...better get down to Town to see her though." According to family Lore, he stood up, stretched...then went on planting onions. When it hit him he drove to the hospital and stayed beside his "little battler"as he called me and took over doing my bottle feeds...a complete no-no in those days. I was about 3 pounds and Mum couldn't handle the "will she live or not" so Dad just took over my care.
We were transferred to a mothercraft hospital, even then I was 6 months old before I went home. The arrival of my brother 4 years later was the last straw for Mum''She hired a housekeeper/nanny and went to work as an estate agent and became a well known and successful business woman.
I hadn't noticed until recently that my birth wasn't registered until the last day allowable. My father was giving me as much time as possible to make a go of battling on.
Cheerie...Your story is straight out of "call the Midwife" You should send it to them, You tell it so well'
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Post by mickthecactus on Dec 3, 2020 12:01:09 GMT
Some good stories on here!
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Post by cheerypeabrain on Dec 3, 2020 17:59:51 GMT
Questa...what a lovely Daddy you had...that's a lovely story.
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Post by questa on Dec 4, 2020 0:45:13 GMT
I think every birth is a story in itself. I delivered a woman who all through her labour was pleading for the baby to be a boy (this was in the days before ultrasounds and Dads present at deliveries) She already had a son and 2 daughters in good health so we could not understand her desperation. After calling in numerous saints to aid her, she delivered a boy and wept in joy. Dad came rushing in and when he learnt it was a boy was ecstatic. Finally I asked why it was the gender that was so important for a 4th baby. "Oh" she said,"Dad has just finished building two double bedrooms for the kids.The girls have theirs and now the boys have their room. If I had produced another girl it would have messed up the whole sleeping arrangements for the children."
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Post by questa on Dec 4, 2020 1:12:37 GMT
Nowadays, if there is no problem, women stay 2 or 3 days, which is still longer than is the case in North America. There is a tendency in Oz and USA for women to have elective C-sections 2 or 3 weeks before the due date. Many doctors wives choose this because it means their obstetrician is awake and operating at a good level of alertness. The wives can plan hairdressers, social events etc. The op is done with the spinal anaesthetic so no pain or contractions. The expression "too posh to push" has been bandied around. There are many women who need to deliver via C-section but the jury is still out on whether 'avoiding stitches down there' is valid.
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Post by bjd on Dec 4, 2020 6:42:08 GMT
I think that's really stupid to choose to have surgery, ie a c-section, rather than a normal birth in order to plan your vacation or your hairdresser's appointments. As far as I know, most births in France are still dealt with by midwives in hospitals and clinics. There is usually a doctor on standby in case there is a problem but midwives still do most of the work, so it's not so much a case of making sure your obstetrician is awake.
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Post by breeze on Dec 4, 2020 14:49:21 GMT
Some wonderful stories here! It's great when not just mothers but fathers are involved.
A friend of ours, a high school teacher, scheduled the birth of her child so she could take off the whole next semester and not cut into the current semester. She had figured out the schedule for induced labor as soon as she knew she was pregnant. The summer before the baby was born she canned a year's worth of baby food. She interviewed daytime helpers for when she went back to work and laid out all the chores she expected to have done and when they were to be done. One thing at the bottom of the list, for any idle hours, was to clip the articles she had marked. She was the most organized person I know.
When my sister was born, it was the practice to keep mothers in the hospital for two weeks. They brought Mom home on a stretcher and she had to learn to walk again. She told me it was the same for my birth but I don't remember it. As usual, I just wasn't paying attention.
We lived with friends, maybe eight in all, and one was having a home birth. The doctor came around ready to get to work, but things progressed slowly, so the doctor spent the afternoon in the kitchen with us (we all took off work) telling stories. The one that comes to mind is the baby born with a head shaped like a banana. It soon resumed normal shape.
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Post by kerouac2 on Dec 4, 2020 15:34:43 GMT
So, has anybody ever known anyone who gave birth in one of those inflatable kiddie pools?
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Post by casimira on Dec 4, 2020 21:14:59 GMT
Indeed some great stories here and a lot more home births than I would have thought. Not that I am unique or anything like that. I was born at home on a late Sunday afternoon. My mother was feeling like it was time and phoned our family doctor who lived only a small walk up the street from us behind the windmill. My father was out somewhere at the time but my mother's mother showed up around the same time as the Dr. My mother asked the doctor should she pack her small suitcase and the doctor said no, we can do it right here. My mother recalled that he reeked of gin and it had also began to snow outside. So, not much later I came out wailing and my mother said it was the easiest delivery she had. I weighed 10 lbs. My brother closest in age to me had been a breach baby so she was of course relieved. In the meantime my father came home and found that the big wooden back door of the house was locked. My grandmother had put the hook on it because the wind kept blowing it open from the now snowstorm. My father banged and banged on the door but no one could hear him as everyone was upstairs in the bedroom with me wailing away. He finally went to a neighbor's house and phoned and came home to find a big fat baby girl by now content as I was being fed.
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Post by cheerypeabrain on Dec 4, 2020 21:49:57 GMT
Gosh Casi exciting times..its a wonder any of us survived with all the easily distracted or tipsy healthcare professionals. Wouldn't happen now hopefully. Standards.
My first son had to be delivered by emergency caesarean section after a protracted labour. I was so relieved when I got the general anaesthetic. The only pain relief I was offered was pethidine which I'd heard bad things about. In the end the CS was done for fetal distress and I kept dipping in and out of consciousness.
Managed the second one ok without much interference.
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Post by questa on Dec 5, 2020 2:03:21 GMT
I didn't supervise this water birth, just watched on in case an extra pair of hands was needed.It was Mum's 2nd baby and all going well.Her room in the hospital was like a kids playroom with the 3 yo boy more interested in the toys.Dad was there and the 2 grannies swapped birthing stories until the midwife frowned.The special pool was deep enough for Mum to float and room for Dads too.
Mum was coming along well. She had been 4 hours in labour and declined any analgesia.She as doing the breathing exercises and between telling the kid to not drop the toys in the pool and checking whether grannies had coffee she was well in charge.
About an hour later she wanted to push. By now she was more dishevelled and not interested in anything outside the pool. She had removed her T-shirt and dad was massaging her back.Her mother had made a fruit juice which she sipped between pushes.Just as she got to the "I can't take anymore" stage the midwife checked and reported that Baby's head was on view.
This energised everyone except Mum who was holding on to Dad and crying with tiredness. He and the midwife muttered together then Dad removed his clothes except underwear and got into the pool.After a few naughty jokes Mum was more energetic, Dad was on his back with Mum on hers on top of him. As she pushed he held her legs, giving her something to push onto.
After another 3-4 pushes and out came the head, then a minute or so later the rest of the body.Dad checked the details..another boy but that was what they wanted. After checking both Mum and Baby a quick breast feed skin-to-skin settled them down.
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