|
|
Post by Deleted on May 30, 2009 10:40:14 GMT
Soulmate is someone with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality, and/or compatibility. A related concept is that of the twin flame or twin soul – which is thought to be the ultimate soulmate, the one and only other half of one's soul, for which all souls are driven to find and join.
Is there really a soulmate for all of us out there? Is so, what are the chances of finding that person from all the people in this world?
|
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on May 30, 2009 11:34:07 GMT
Perhaps I am cynical,a self acknowledged skeptic but, I believe this term is used much too broadly. It's a very idealized notion. I agree with the notion that there are some qualities that two people may share or be "compatible" with however,people change over time and the perceived "soulmate"'s qualities may not always be in sync with the other.
|
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on May 30, 2009 11:59:30 GMT
So really, you may feel that you have found your soulmate but in reality you have just found someone whom you love, and then one day, that love can change or vanish completely?
I agree that people do change, but maybe if you can accept the changes in that other person and still love them with all their flaws and weaknesses and quirks etc. then it's like being a soulmate to them?
I'm just trying to understand...
|
|
|
|
Post by rikita on May 30, 2009 12:22:19 GMT
don't think there is a soulmate that just magically everything is right with. agree with casimira really - that doesn't mean the love necessarily vanishes, but it means that things can get hard, that there might be times of doubt, and that it might not work out.
if there was a soulmate, that would either mean that there is some kind of fate that insures we meet them, then the question is what is with those who stay alone - did they not recognize their soulmate? did they meet them at the wrong time? is whoever arranges the soulmate-thing nicer to some than to others?
or it would mean they can be anywhere in the world, then that would mean that 99 % of people never meet theirs, and that seems pretty strange to me...
either way, i think some people use the idea of a soulmate as an excuse for not being good at relationships, others might use it as an excuse to stay with a person who is not good to them, because they convince themselves that this one is their soulmate. others who are truely happy and whose partner seems their soulmate, i think in fact they should give themselves and each other more credit for making it work, and at the same time yes, they are lucky. but maybe that would have happened with someone else too, had they never ended up finding the person they are with...
i just think love is more complex than just that there is "the one right person" out there for each, and the purpose is to find that one and no other... but i guess i could be wrong...
|
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on May 30, 2009 19:06:56 GMT
I have seen two couples who were soulmates (i.e. perfect matches) in my life. Considering all of the people I have come across over the years, that's not a very successful average.
|
|
|
|
Post by bjd on May 30, 2009 19:35:58 GMT
I agree with Casimira and Rikita that "soulmates" is an unrealistic notion. People who spend their time looking for their supposed soulmate, however they define that, might pass on oportunities to have satisfying and happy relationships with another person. Or else, if they do believe they have found their soulmate, their expectations for a perfect relationship will be such that they will never be satisfied.
|
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on May 30, 2009 20:29:01 GMT
I must admit, I have never come across anyone, in my real life, who I could say that they are soulmates. They might be in love, or like each a lot, but in the back of my mind is always the 'how long will that last'?
|
|
|
|
Post by distantshores on Jun 10, 2009 13:59:27 GMT
I must admit that I "have" met several couples who, in my estimation, were soulmates, if that's the term you want to use. One pair was my Grandpa and Grandma. Married at age 19, they were genuinely in love all of their lives. My Grandma would tell us how Grandpa would get on the train Friday afternoon after the farmwork was done, in his one and only suit, then ride the train thru the night to the state where Grandma lived to "court" her and spend time with her. He would get a room at the local hotel for Saturday night. Then arond noon on Sunday he would get back on the train and head for home, arriving Monday morning just in time for chores. Grandma would always tell us that he made such an impression on her that he would put himself thru all of that. He just had to be a good man. If we asked Grandpa about it later... he would just smile. You knew he was pretty proud of his efforts. I still to this day imagine seeing those two falling in love. They were a huge influence in my life as to what caring and devotion truly meant. Did they have an occasional spat! Of course they did. We are imperfect beings in an imperfect world. But they always settled things quickly and the next thing you saw they were holding hands. As they grew older, they changed. Who doesn't? But there committment to each other never faltered. When my Grandpa had a stroke at 73 and knew he didn't have much longer, he was always telling Grandma how much he loved her. Almost to her embarrassment, but to tearful admiration of us grandchildren. If only everyone could witness that! He finally passed away at 73. Six months later my Grandma was found dead in their home. She, also 73, died the same way. Of a stroke, even tho she had no history of them before. That was many years ago, but in my mind it was as if it were yesterday. If I can find that kind of love, that kind of passion, that kind of committment... I will be a very lucky man. I would only hope would be that I am capable of returning it!
|
|
|
|
Post by lola on Jun 12, 2009 4:08:01 GMT
Lovely story, distant.
|
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 12, 2009 11:17:57 GMT
Yes, that's a nice story, very sweet.
|
|
|
|
Post by distantshores on Jun 14, 2009 1:58:50 GMT
Thank you lola and deyana. The best part is that it's absolutely true. Although sadly I am divorced, she wanted out, I try to be just like my Grandfather was with my kids and grandkids. I tell them I love them every time I see them. And if you don't believe me, you can ask them. I hope to create a memory of me that they never want to forget, and will always be a positive influence in their lives.
|
|
|
|
Post by gyro on Jun 14, 2009 21:14:37 GMT
'Soulmate' is such a stupidly over-used term.
I'm not saying it's not true, just that it's a greatly exaggerated conceited romantic ideal for many desperate people. It's like saying your partner/husband/wife is also your best friend. [glow=red,2,300]NO[/glow]. Your best friend is something entirely different to the bias needed to stay in love with a partner. But people often say that because it sounds like the person they've found is more important than the average spouse/whatever, and they feel the need to justify their happiness.
|
|
|
|
Post by gyro on Jun 14, 2009 21:17:30 GMT
ps. Neither the green glowy thing, or the red 'A' bit on your posting options work for me. I just tried both of them, hence why my 'NO' is all on it's own halfway through my reply ...
|
|
|
|
Post by bixaorellana on Jun 15, 2009 2:43:57 GMT
This font is comic sans ms. Alternate fonts must be written in after you click on the font button.
The glow button will work in IE but not in firefox. As you see, the font button works, but pretty clunkily
Use the Preview button to avoid surprises.
|
|
|
|
Post by Wizard on Jun 15, 2009 4:57:01 GMT
A drop down menu of fonts has been added to Reply.
|
|
|
|
Post by spindrift on Jun 15, 2009 8:27:47 GMT
Distant - I enjoyed reading your story; you are an excellent raconteur  |
|
|
|
Post by distantshores on Jun 15, 2009 12:58:36 GMT
Thank you very much spindrift! Reading our kind remark first thing this morning has put happiness in my heart! I hope you have a wonderful day today!!!
|
|
|
|
Post by traveler63 on Jun 15, 2009 14:01:21 GMT
Soulmate, I also think is an overused word. I do believe that there is someone for everyone, but the journey to find that person can be long involves some luck, timing and being in the right place. This is a big world and we all travel just a small portion of it. I don't know if you would call Kirk my soulmate, but our chemistry has worked for 40 years. I believe you have to be realistic, new love is wonderful, but I always have said, it is the little day to day things that you need to look at and accept to really live with someone. The hardest thing I have had to learn is "is this worth getting into an argument about???
|
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 15, 2009 14:15:58 GMT
Love AND tolerance is a good principle to guide relationships.
|
|
|
|
Post by distantshores on Jun 15, 2009 14:18:56 GMT
t63,
Do you suppose it's when we get rid of our own selfish expectations, judgements, and personality qirks that we begin to be worthy of being someone's companion? And then we come together with the person who will be there for us thru life's journey, bumps and all? I have heard so many definitions as to what love is.. Isn't real love a genuine committment to be there no matter what?
|
|
|
|
Post by traveler63 on Jun 15, 2009 15:15:54 GMT
DS:
Yes! It is for better or worst, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. When it is tough, it is the character that pulls you thru. Just look at some of our returning soldiers and their spouses. Love is a commitment, for all things that come down the road. This is hard, I fault no one if they can't with an open heart commit.
|
|
