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Rant
Jun 11, 2009 17:15:09 GMT
Post by bazfaz on Jun 11, 2009 17:15:09 GMT
I may make some enemies here. I strongly disapprove of friends emailing and aksing us to "sponsor" them for some charity. I am not against us giving to charities.I am against being blackmailed by others to do so.
But my greatest bugbear is that they never NEVER do anything useful and ask to be sponsored. For instance if someone asked to be sponsored to get rid of grafitti or to clean windows or to serve a meal at a charity kitchen - that would be worthwhile. Instead they choose to do something pointless or that they enjoy doing anyway and ask for moneyoing it. Last year it was the daughter of a friend who wanted to be sponsored for swimming - you know, ploughing up and down a pool. This month it is akeen cyclist who is having a five day break in the Pyrenees - and wants us to "sponsor" his fun. Sure the money raised is going to medical research but why not do something useful rather than fun? And to make it worse, his wife will be staying with us for five days.
Now, who will sponsor me for putting up the wife of someone who is having a cycling break in the Pyrenees? The money will go to the Distressed Swedish Chefs club, Hon Pre s Baz Faz.
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Rant
Jun 11, 2009 17:32:43 GMT
Post by Deleted on Jun 11, 2009 17:32:43 GMT
I completely agree, Baz. I am happy to support the causes of my VERY CLOSEST friends and family -- the ones who shouldn't even have to ask. The others can go to hell when they come begging.
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welle
member
Offline
om sweet om
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Rant
Jun 11, 2009 19:18:53 GMT
Post by welle on Jun 11, 2009 19:18:53 GMT
I'm with you on that, baz. I don't like those kind of fundraisers either.
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Rant
Jun 11, 2009 19:42:06 GMT
Post by happytraveller on Jun 11, 2009 19:42:06 GMT
Yes I completely agree with all of you too !
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Rant
Jun 11, 2009 19:44:13 GMT
Post by Deleted on Jun 11, 2009 19:44:13 GMT
I've never been in that position except perhaps one or two occasions when a "down and out" musician (whom I know is really strung out on coke or some other substance) puts on a "benefit" for themselves. It's pretty common here and really bothers me because when there is someone REALLY in need ,people are reluctant because they feel like they've been "burned". The e-mail thing would piss me off. I guess people don't ask us because they know we have no money.
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Rant
Jun 11, 2009 20:11:58 GMT
Post by bazfaz on Jun 11, 2009 20:11:58 GMT
I'm gratified that people agree. This is the third time this particular friend has had a cycling holiday in France and conned people into giving money to charity. It is also the third time his wife has stayed here while he has fun. It would be quite nice if, for once, she offered to take us out to dinner.
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Rant
Jun 11, 2009 20:20:57 GMT
Post by Deleted on Jun 11, 2009 20:20:57 GMT
I don't understand why you relent. Now,everyone is set up to have a really,really ,miserable 5 days of resentment. That's not a "holiday" for anyone.
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Rant
Jun 11, 2009 20:28:20 GMT
Post by bazfaz on Jun 11, 2009 20:28:20 GMT
Casimira, the point of a rant is to let off steam. Of course when our guest is staying she will not be aware of my feelings at all. You cannot make old friends unwelcome.
Have you heard about Polish Maria?
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Rant
Jun 11, 2009 20:36:58 GMT
Post by Deleted on Jun 11, 2009 20:36:58 GMT
The resentment came across as a bit more deep seated . Great if you can let it go and have a fine time.
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Rant
Jun 11, 2009 20:48:41 GMT
Post by bazfaz on Jun 11, 2009 20:48:41 GMT
My rant, though prompted by something that is happening next week, is based on a long held belief that this sponsorship bullying is wrong. And in particular when they do what they enjoy doing and ask us to believe they are morally superior by doing it.
Mrs Faz (before she was that) used to give parties. She told the invited people that instead of bringing a bottle of wine (or whatever) they should give the money they would have spent to a particular charity. So everybody (not just the cyclist) had fun - and the charity benefitted. That seems admirable.
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Rant
Jun 11, 2009 21:32:38 GMT
Post by spindrift on Jun 11, 2009 21:32:38 GMT
Baz - I don't understand why most of your visitors don't invite you out to dinner. It's the first thing I thought of. (And delicious it was too)....
Oh! I forgot to say that no-one asks me to sponsor anything.
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Rant
Jun 11, 2009 22:17:04 GMT
Post by bixaorellana on Jun 11, 2009 22:17:04 GMT
I completely fail to understand why you're ranting about this instead of just saying a firm no.
I also don't understand why you consider these people "old friends", when it seems they're just people who are using you.
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Rant
Jun 11, 2009 23:01:45 GMT
Post by Jazz on Jun 11, 2009 23:01:45 GMT
Casimira, the point of a rant is to let off steam. Of course when our guest is staying she will not be aware of my feelings at all. You cannot make old friends unwelcome. Have you heard about Polish Maria? Baz, I think that you are an extremely generous man. I well remember the story of 'Polish Maria'. For years, I was just like you...generous, often with no contribution from a guest (however small, all I really wanted). Rants are good, but if they aren't eventually said to the persons involved, they are useless. Resentment builds. Even during months or years (!) when I had less money than these guests, I still 'foot the bill', without contribution from them. In private moments I would catalogue my grieviences to other friends, who would agree with me. After a while, they would look at me blankly and say...Why are you doing this? Why don't you say something? ummmm....'well this, well that, they are friends'....my other friends would counter with, "If they are your friends and are making twice as much money as you, why do you do it all?" Silence. I ceased most of these invitations. Recently I read a book with a powerful thought for me: "Taking responsibility means being aware of the payoffs that keep you stuck. Payoffs explain why we choose to perpetuate what we don't want in our lives. At any given time, you are there because you to choose to be there."
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Rant
Jun 12, 2009 6:45:38 GMT
Post by gyro on Jun 12, 2009 6:45:38 GMT
Champagne for your real friends, real pain for your sham friends.
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Rant
Jun 12, 2009 11:20:07 GMT
Post by bazfaz on Jun 12, 2009 11:20:07 GMT
The way our finances are I think it is Babycham all round.
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Rant
Jun 12, 2009 17:00:58 GMT
Post by BigIain on Jun 12, 2009 17:00:58 GMT
I agree Baz
However I also do a massive amount of fundraising for St Columba's Hospice in Edinburgh. It becomes quite difficult to find innovative ways of going about raising sponsorship. I did the 7 hills in Edinburgh recently to raise a decent amount of money for them. As I am between jobs right now I am putting a lot of effort in to raising money. But I agree with you that asking friends to give up cash as you have mentioned just shows a lack of class. I would not ask friends to do that sort of thing.
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Rant
Jun 12, 2009 18:00:41 GMT
Post by BigIain on Jun 12, 2009 18:00:41 GMT
I meant to ask you Baz... did you sponsor him or tell him to bugger off? Tell him you will give him a discount off from his wife's bill for B&B towards his sponsorship.
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Rant
Jun 12, 2009 18:35:22 GMT
Post by distantshores on Jun 12, 2009 18:35:22 GMT
Hey baz...old buddy, old pal.. I have planned on going for a bike ride and will be dropping off the wife and kids next week!!! By the way dear friend, could you spare a few bucks? Champagne in the Pyrenees isn't getting any cheaper you know!!! Do realize this is all for a good cause! MINE!
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Rant
Jun 12, 2009 20:33:04 GMT
Post by bazfaz on Jun 12, 2009 20:33:04 GMT
DS, hmmm, next week we are booked up. The week after my daughter and family come. Then it is the turn of Mrs Faz's family. Hey, I think your bike tour will have finished by then (you did mean it was the Tour de France, I take it).
Iain, we sponsored him. It is not in our nature to be rude to friends.
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Rant
Jun 12, 2009 21:48:56 GMT
Post by spindrift on Jun 12, 2009 21:48:56 GMT
DS - I like your sense of humour ;D
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Rant
Jun 17, 2009 8:40:47 GMT
Post by rikita on Jun 17, 2009 8:40:47 GMT
interesting... i don't think this concept of sponsoring is common here...
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