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Post by distantshores on Jun 18, 2009 0:37:01 GMT
So what does everyone do for their Fathers on Father's Day? Or did you do if they are no longer with us. Does anyone have any special memories or stories involving their Father?
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Post by hwinpp on Jun 18, 2009 4:51:25 GMT
Father's day in Germany is completely different from Mother's day. On M's day the children give them something (sometimes), on F's day they treat themselves. It's on Christ's Ascension day. Men (father or not father) gather in groups and take off into the countryside with beer laden wooden handcarts. Results predictable.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 18, 2009 5:03:01 GMT
Father's Day isn't until this weekend in France. Everything is running late this year.
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Post by gyro on Jun 18, 2009 6:54:19 GMT
It's a pain this year as Fathers Day also falls on our wedding anniversary, thereby thwarting any selfish self-indulgent plans we might have.
And also, if we are to take Father-In-Law out for a nice meal on Sunday, we'd also almost certainly be expected to invite Mrs G's annoying bag of a sister too.
So, all in all, not ideal.
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Post by happytraveller on Jun 18, 2009 8:16:35 GMT
Fathers day is not a real big event here. I think most people don't even know about it.
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Post by BigIain on Jun 18, 2009 9:05:45 GMT
My parents were due to be visiting me this week and through the weekend. They have not done so because he has been having more health issues and was not fit enough to make the journey. I had planned a nice day with them including time at the De Havilland museum (my dad was in the RAF) as a surprise.
I had to hastily get a card in the post to him last evening. I am disappointed that he is not going to be here becuase of health things. I have really started to appreciate my parents fully in the last 5 years.
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Post by gyro on Jun 18, 2009 9:19:26 GMT
I've told my kids if they don't get me beer, not to bother with thinking they can go to university in the future ...
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Post by happytraveller on Jun 18, 2009 9:22:20 GMT
That's a pity Iain. How far away do they live ?
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Post by tillystar on Jun 18, 2009 9:54:56 GMT
Sorry you can't be with your dad as planned Iain.
Gyro have you sorted out your anniversary gift idea yet?
Me and Missy tried to make Mr Star a clay foot cast yeterday - ha ha ha. What a joke, its awful, a flipping disaster. On the plus side he might actually believe that she attempted to make it herself its that bad! When its dry tomorrow I'll let her splash some paint over the lumpy mess.
I am very thankful to him as he works so hard so I can have time off with fatty so we are gonna have nice day on Sunday to an enchanted wood and a nice lunch somewhere - I have booked him a massage for his bad back in a couple of weeks.
I still think my Dad is a disgusting human being so he won't be getting anything from me, can't imagine he will hear from any of his other children either. I wish he cared enough for it to make him miserable, but unfortunately he doesn't.
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Post by gyro on Jun 18, 2009 10:03:27 GMT
Deffo let her splash some paint on it. WHen she's older, take her to one of those paint your own pottery shit places and get her to make him a mug or something.
Yeah, Tills, I decided on the present. It's in the thread, but has been moaned about and queried somewhat. But don't let that put you off; feel free to say it's shit too !
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Post by distantshores on Jun 18, 2009 13:25:12 GMT
My goodness! I was expecting some warm loving stories! Not this! I am so sorry for your bad relationship with your Dad tilly. I've always felt a girl needs a good Dad for her life to be complete. And he would be an example for her to base her choice for a mate on. I hope that somehow you and your Dad can heal the past tilly. This has certainly made me appreciate my good relationship with my kids and my grandkids.
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Post by BigIain on Jun 18, 2009 13:57:09 GMT
HT, only in Edinburgh but I will not be able to see him for another week or so.
I am not expecting much, if anything from my girls this weekend, it tends to be at strange times of the year when "dad" gifts arrive. I keep telling them that having 2 beautiful daughters is more than enough reward. The little bitches seem to think that this is their reason not to lavish expensive gifts on their father!
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Post by tillystar on Jun 18, 2009 14:00:04 GMT
Oh don't be sorry distant - I feel bad dragging down a happy thread! It does make me sad sometimes and I agree its an important thing to have in your life - a good dad. But as you say, my Dad has been a very good example for me to base my choice of mate on - the complete opposite! Thankfully I have found the opposite and my little girl has a wonderful Dad who will always be there for her I also had a wonderful, wonderful Grandad who was always there for me and who I will be thinking about on fathers day as he isn't around anymore, he was a very special man who loved and took great care of his family. I do miss him. I hope I have brought a little more love and warmth to this thread with remembering the good stuff ;D
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Post by rikita on Jun 18, 2009 16:15:37 GMT
my father never celebrated father's day, nor does my mom particularly care for mother's day. so they get nothing from me.
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Post by gringalais on Jun 18, 2009 17:11:13 GMT
I adore my dad, so I will definitely give him a call on that day. Here it is pretty widely celebrated. It's common for a family to get-together for a big lunch. My husband's father died when he was really young, so we have no obligations, but he does keep asking the puppy what she is going to give him.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 18, 2009 18:06:17 GMT
My biological father died almost 30 years ago. He was a whining alcoholic who would cry about all of the bad things he had done when he was drunk. When my parents got divorced, he signed away his parental rights to get out of paying the rock bottom $50 a month child support that my mother had requested as the legal minimum. I am not even sure where he is buried, but I have promised myself that I will find and go to his grave some day. No, I will not spit on his grave. He was just a very sick man.
Happy Father's Day!
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Post by distantshores on Jun 18, 2009 18:44:58 GMT
rikita... it's not for our Moms and Dads to celebrate. It's our day to celebrate them! I urge you to send them a card or flowers, or a phone call if possible on their special days. It would be like us left to celebrate our own Bdays. Please don't take offense. But I bet they would come alive if you reached out.
k2... I can't imagine what you went thru as a child. I am so sorry! I hope your own fathering skills have made your children love and adore you. Tho I personally never witnessed it, my cousins had an alcoholic Father and what they went thru I don't see how their emotions endured it. He was brutally cruel. I personally think you're great k2. I have really enjoyed your posts filled with knowledge of so many things and places. You appear to be a man of great wisdom and are a fabulous source of facts. I hope you can look down at your Fathers grave someday and forgive him. Not because he deserves it, but because it shows that you're not a prisoner to his cruelty. If I ever get to France, I would love to meet you.
Happy Fathers Day to you too!
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Post by gyro on Jun 18, 2009 19:35:38 GMT
Bet you wish you'd never started now, eh Distant ?
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Post by Jazz on Jun 18, 2009 19:43:38 GMT
My father and I hated each other, especially since he never wanted children. However, since he has been dead for 30 years, this is not an issue.
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Post by gyro on Jun 18, 2009 19:45:11 GMT
Maybe we should have a poll; Hand up who get's on with father ?
Doesn't look like, based on the evidence abov, it's too many ... !
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Post by Jazz on Jun 18, 2009 20:04:47 GMT
..... I hope you can look down at your Fathers grave someday and forgive him. Not because he deserves it, but because it shows that you're not a prisoner to his cruelty This is not easy. Your relationship with your father is your first with a man and is the basis of all other male relationships. You spend the rest of your life fighting this. Forgive, perhaps. Forget, never...unless you are fortunate enough to have blanked out the worst memories of entire years, a decade of your life...as I have.
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Post by rikita on Jun 18, 2009 20:56:38 GMT
distantshores - if i sent them a card they'd probably think i've gone mad. when i say they don't celebrate it, i mean they don't take it important... i call them regularly anyway, and they get cards when i travel... for father's day cards here aren't common anyway, people just get drunk... my father very much dislikes the common father's day celebrations (he has nothing against drinking, but not the way those guys do)...
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Post by rikita on Jun 18, 2009 20:57:31 GMT
my bf's mom, now she cares about mother's day... he always has to be there for it. well these days i guess she might not remember when it is though...
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Post by Deleted on Jun 18, 2009 21:04:57 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 18, 2009 21:40:45 GMT
Seems I'm in good company here. My father whom I absolutely adored ,however, feared greatly, was an alcoholic and most certainly abused my brothers and my mother. I was 9 1/2 years old when he died. He was well respected in the community and a hard worker. He was very rigid and authoritarian. We all loved and feared him . My mother remarried when I was 16.My stepfather abused me. I am grateful he gave my mother some long overdue happiness. I was also glad to be out of the house and gone at 17. He died from complications from Lyme disease around 1990.
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Post by gringalais on Jun 18, 2009 21:47:18 GMT
I read about that guy Kerouac. That guy needs to be shipped off to a spay/neuter clinic NOW!
And one hand up for my dad, because he is great. My mom on the other hand . . .
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Post by distantshores on Jun 19, 2009 2:04:12 GMT
..... I hope you can look down at your Fathers grave someday and forgive him. Not because he deserves it, but because it shows that you're not a prisoner to his cruelty This is not easy. Your relationship with your father is your first with a man and is the basis of all other male relationships. You spend the rest of your life fighting this. Forgive, perhaps. Forget, never...unless you are fortunate enough to have blanked out the worst memories of entire years, a decade of your life...as I have. I DO understand Jazz. Believe me I understand. When we decide to forgive someone, it's the first step in overcoming those hurts that we have harbored inside. Sometimes for many years! Anger, bitterness, hatred... those things can fester inside of us all of our lives. They eat us alive and will eventually kill us! They say time heals all wounds, but that's not true. I have a neighbor lady who is 84 years old. Her Father divorced her Mother when she was 6. He took her older sister and her younger sister and moved away. My neighbor lady has dealt with anger, bitterness, and inferiority all these 78 years! Her and her Mother had to live in a garage with a coal stove to survive. Her Mother cleaned houses to earn a meager living. Has she forgotten??? Absolutely not! But she refuses to forgive him as well. And it shows. We will will always remember! But by forgiving the remembering won't have that beartrap grip on your emotions and your feelings and your health! Something we have to think about is what happened to our Fathers and Mothers to make them the way they were. They certainly weren't born that way!!! What life experience did they take part in that made them do what they did? I often wonder what happened to my uncle to turn him into an alcoholic. My personal opinion is that his Father beat him and probably told him he was no good when he failed at his chores. Life and death is in the power of our tongues. We can lift someone up... or we can destroy them as well. That's double for our kids. I can tell you stories very similar to the ones told here about my own Father. But I have forgiven him and have moved on. The bad emotions that once controlled me no longer do. But it was my choice! One day I had to make a choice... and forgiving set me on the path to freedom. Maybe my Father will never respond, but it doesn't matter. I did my part. I've let it go. And tomorrow I will send him a Fathers Day card to show respect. It's my willing choice! And I feel free! It's a great feeling!
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Post by distantshores on Jun 19, 2009 2:07:57 GMT
You bet k2.... you can be our Father of The Year!!! I don't think anyone else here would have a problem with that! But only to the end of the year tho...OK? Membership does have it's privileges!!! I wish I knew French so that I could say something smart! Oh well! As Oz would say... Now let's see... where did I put that medal!!!
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Post by distantshores on Jun 19, 2009 2:13:07 GMT
Seems I'm in good company here. My father whom I absolutely adored ,however, feared greatly, was an alcoholic and most certainly abused my brothers and my mother. I was 9 1/2 years old when he died. He was well respected in the community and a hard worker. He was very rigid and authoritarian. We all loved and feared him . My mother remarried when I was 16.My stepfather abused me. I am grateful he gave my mother some long overdue happiness. I was also glad to be out of the house and gone at 17. He died from complications from Lyme disease around 1990. casi... your Father abused your brothers and your Mother??? And your Step Father abused you? I'm so sorry! You are such a good person. I always enjoy your posts and replys. I hope that you have put the past behind you. I think you're just peachy myself!
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Post by distantshores on Jun 19, 2009 2:14:34 GMT
Maybe we should have a poll; Hand up who get's on with father ? Doesn't look like, based on the evidence abov, it's too many ... ! Are you trying to start trouble gyro!!!
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