Life skills

[auntieannie]

Inspired by a conversation with a friend of mine, who is just about to finish University, where she studied politics.

She was really worried at the thought of not having any "life skills"... the kind of skills that put food in your plate and a roof over your head.

Tell me what you think are essential skills to go about in life.

[onlymark]

How to cook, clean, dress appropriately, drive, use transport, socialise, be open minded, sympathetic, more street wise, understand more about how the world works, understand poverty and wealth, realise not all people are good and not all are bad, know some people are just evil, take religion with a pinch of salt, do sport, look at nature and the stars, know more about health and illness, what is good for the body and what is not, understand 'experts' are not always so, trust your instincts, take nothing at face value, take time to stop and think, experience love, hate, failure and success, but most of all - wear clean underpants every day.

[lagatta]

How to swim, how to ride a bicycle. I can actually drive if I have to in an emergency, but I've never had a driving licence.

Very basic repair skills, whether with a sewing needle or a hammer.

I'll be thinking of others. There are many. Modern ones certainly include basic computer knowledge.

Under cooking, how to make a pot of tea. I kid you not, this pertains to a story a friend told me about a homestay he was doing somewhere in England, intensive language-learnng. The other homestay student was a young man from Saudi Arabia, who was actually ordering his homestay hostess to make him tea. No doubt the womenfolk and servants in his household had always done that. This normally very polite and well-mannered lady blurted out: "Make your own bloody tea".

[Deleted]

All of the above and the addition of using basic common sense,honing a sense of direction as in literally knowing the difference between North and South,how to read a map.
In retrospect, although,not too late by any means,but,wish I had,learned a couple of other languages to speak aside from English.
I'm sure I'll think of some more. This is a really thought provoking thread for me..thanks.
Common courtesy.

[auntieannie]

oh... you're fab! love you all...!

I will think more about it as I feel I have to rescue this little puppy of a girl.

She's vegan,
believes that she wouldn't be able to work full time she was totally blown away by the things I manage to do around a full time office job. re
is thinking of moving to London and find free accomodation that wouldn't be a squat there so she eliminates her first financial burden.

Lovely and she has interesting ideas... but goodness me, she's going to hurt herself badly if she doesn't get a little reality check soon!

[lagatta]

Yeah, a lot of "free" accomodation in squats is far from free, and if it is a serious squat and not just a druggy crashpad (yecch), they are "paying" by doing a lot of reno work.

Why on earth can't she work full time? I presume she has no children?

[Deleted]

Life skills to me mean the following: Having common sense. Knowing that 'intelligence' has nothing to do with education. Some of the most intelligent people that I have come across have not officially been through the education mill, and that makes them more interesting, much more so.

How to read a map, drive a car, take care of your own health. Knowing that what is really important in life are the ones you love, everything else pales in compression. Living a life that is geared towards love, whether that be for your kids, the man/woman in you life, other family members, your friends or just the kid down the road who needs encouragement and guidance.

Knowing how to dress for the weather, important here in Canada! Knowing that treating others with fairness and respect goes a long way, and makes you are better person in return.
Knowing that swearing and talking gibberish constantly makes a person look stupid and mindless. Pushy people are to be avoided at all costs.

Staying away from people who are detrimental to your life and your soul and well being. Being true to yourself and what you believe in, no matter what. Never to follow, always think things through and then make up your own mind, no matter how tempting or how much pressure may be put on you.

How to read a map, drive a car, cook at least reasonably well. Have a mind that is open to possibilities. Knowing that nothing is set in stone. Realizing that nothing stays the same, everything changes, to be flexible.

Knowing when to quit, and when to carry on following your dreams, ideals, and ideas. Finding a way to relax, even during the most stressful days, to try and be at peace with the world as best you can. Trying not to hate in return, when someone clearly shows you dislike. Never to spread untruths, to be honest always. Striving to live a life where you are not hurting other people, or leaving destruction along the path.

Realize there is good and bad in every human being. Knowing that no one is totally good or totally bad. There is some goodness to be found in the most horrendous person. Not to envy anyone for what they have, everyone has paid a price for everything they accumulate/possess somewhere along the way.

Ignore those who try and make your feel less than you really are. Learn to understand and know yourself. Don't be at war with yourself, don't sell yourself short.

Be honest with yourself, and strive to be happy. And always wash at least once a day and brush your teeth at least twice a day!

[lagatta]

I liked only Mark's clean underpants advice, because in many places he has worked, I'm sure that also would have meant having to wash them out in a little tub or basin.

Whether knowing more than one language is an essential life skill depends at least in part on where you live and what you do, but it is always an advantage. Idem driving, actually (not at all needed in major urban centres unless your job involves driving, but very useful to know in an emergency).

Deyana, I think a lot of what you have written has more to do with a healthy life outlook - important, for sure, but I got the impression that this thread was more about "nuts and bolts".

A very important one - learn how to use birth control and do so! I get so furious seeing sixteen-year-olds with babies - perhaps some of them will finish their studies, but the statistics are grim.

[onlymark]

Underpants are very important and often forgotten in the grand scheme of things.

[onlymark]

Jun 13, 2010 12:30:38 GMT auntieannie said:

She was really worried at the thought of not having any "life skills"... the kind of skills that put food in your plate and a roof over your head.

Never concentrate on one occupation, especially if it is a niche type of one. Politics can cover many bases but it's matter of opinion as to how useful they are to society anyway. Best get other bow strings to fall back on for Plan B and so on.
Better become a jack of all trades than a master in a limited field. In other words, do other things than just politics. Do a evening course or courses in different things to see what appeals and see what a person might have a natural talent for that they didn't know about.

Look through job adverts in the paper and get an idea of what jobs you could now do, from unskilled to skilled, just to have an idea. On a practical level maybe volunteer locally for helping in a soup kitchen, or disabled kids or whatever, just to see what else it out there and how others live and get on.
Food and roofs invariably follow on from leaving the cocoon of a University or College and being open to new experiences.

[Deleted]

It really takes putting what you think you know to practice to know what you actually can do.

For example, some people think that they can do basic cooking, but can they fix a meal for, say, four strangers? This means of course knowing basic meal skills but also what constitutes consensual food and drink, as well as having a 'plan B' for unexpected accidents or unexpected needs. Extrapolate this sort of thing to everything else in life, and you will quickly winnow out people who know about real life from those who don't.

(To go back to the story of Saudi tea preparation, I heard exactly the same story in university. Freshmen who didn't live at home were obliged to share two-person rooms in dorms. One girl I knew ended up with a wealthy girl from Taiwan who also ordered her to prepare tea -- with the same result.)

[onlymark]

Off topic, bear with me and delete it if you want, however, I took a group of six 12 year old lads camping overnight in the desert last year for the birthday of my son. Three of the kids were Egyptian.
We made a fire from wood I brought with me and even after warning them, the three Egyptian kids piled the wood on and on until after an hour of so we'd run out.
Two of them came to me and told me they needed more. I told them there wasn't any.
The told me there must be, go and get it.
I told them there wasn't, if they want more they'll have to find it, which obviously they couldn't.

Later we had a meal made in the embers. They ate all the sausages (and nothing else) and wanted more. I told them there wasn't any more.
The told me there must be, go and get it.
I told them there wasn't, if they want more they'll have to find them, which obviously they couldn't.


Later the battery ran out on one of their torches. They told me to give them some.
I said I don't have any, you'll have to live without it. Like the wood and the sausages.
Eventually, bored, they went to bed.
The next morning they got out of the tent and asked me for their tea (chay).
Guess what, I said...........

[Deleted]

Not off topic at all. Those were little boys, but there are plenty of adults who are also beyond belief. I have some colleagues who are just coming to terms with real life around age 50. ("What do you mean, there is a limit to a Visa card?")

[bixaorellana]

Oh dear, Annie, I can see why you are concerned about this babe in the woods.

At least she has the sense to see that university may not have fully prepared her for real adult life.

Possibly the first life skill you could help her acquire is some confidence in herself. Reading between the lines, it seems to me she is sort of drifting into some kind of neo-hippie lifestyle because she feels she may be cosseted from responsibility there.

Maybe a tough job wherein she had to learn about money, responsibility, and dealing with the public would be bracing for her and even enjoyable. If she could find work as a waitress, for instance, she might learn that she is capable of working hard and working under pressure. Once she's out in the workforce, she'll be exposed to people who have to rely on themselves in order to get by -- lesson #1 in life skills, I'd say.

Other than that, she'll need basic economic guidance about budgeting, enough skill at cooking to find the pleasure in it, and the ability to not only follow directions but to find said directions in order to be able to do things for herself.

[Deleted]

Yes,is so very true. I spend a lot of time around younger people and am astounded by how little they know about some basic kinds of things that were part of my upbringing (ironing,how to properly load a washing machine). I can only surmise that they were never taught and were overindulged growing up and subsequently don't know how to do these basic kinds of things.

With reference to being able to speak another language or two,I don't necessarily think of it as a survival skill but,am regretting not having done so as it would have made travel so much easier and fun knowing Spanish and or French.Not a life skill per say.

[Jazz]

A great thread. This is my idea of basic skills,

Love and respect yourself, others and our beautiful world. Each moment of experience is part of your life and valuable.
.
Be a ‘people person’, open to the experience of others and apply it to your own life…up or down…age, economic status etc is much less significant. Ie: This will trump actual ‘on the job experience’. If people like and respect you, it draws you to them, always. Remember that people love to give and your acceptance is a gift to them. Especially life advice, if not applicable at the moment, it will be one day.

Nurture your own sense of self and courage, you will always need this.

Understand that your ‘long, dark night of the soul’ is your moment of greatest growth (even though you may be in blind chaos) and that it will eventually end. The sooner that you truly accept this, the sooner it will cease.

Live each moment in your day to day world and don’t look at it fearfully through self-imposed metaphorical plexiglass walls. As someone said, ‘There is nothing to fear but fear itself.” A certain amount of fear is healthy and natural, it makes you think and will protect you.

Perhaps these can be applied to your innocent young friend’s unique situation, or, anywhere. The details depend on circumstance. A second language is less important where I live, but critical elsewhere. Driving? Depends. Cooking? Is she a foodie or can she wield a can opener, a knife and heat water. Etc. I certainly agree with preparing several work skills, given the situation today. Volunteering is great as a possible access into a job and fulfills social needs.

Her place to live is important as it costs so much. Possibly she could live somewhere for free in exchange for some simple things, gardening, dog walking? A friend of mine gives a small flat for free to a guy in exchange for him walking the dog three times a day!

[onlymark]

All good words but there are two other major things that are invaluable.
Firstly, learn how to stand up for yourself.
Secondly learn how to make toast.

[Deleted]

Curious as to how this young lady is doing Annie? Has she learned how to make tea and toast??