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Post by kerouac2 on Jun 8, 2023 10:36:45 GMT
Well, you know in the movies about investigations, there is disappointment after disappointment, and then you suddenly strike gold.
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Post by tod2 on Jun 8, 2023 13:53:16 GMT
I hope so. I waited all yesterday to hear from the gentleman who may know something but no phone call. I rang his place of work this morning and was informed he only comes in during the afternoons. So I waited till this afternoon and rang his office again. This time I was able to speak to him - he was delighted to hear from me and is going to do some digging on my behalf. I appreciate that very much, but some of you may have waited for some kind of result sooner than later - but when someone is doing you a great favour you cant ask them to get a move on. So I will wait.
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Post by Kimby on Jun 9, 2023 12:36:21 GMT
I missed the beginning of this discussion, and am wondering why you need a British passport, tod. Does it give you options a South African passport does not? Is it for security reasons? How serious is it if all your efforts fail?
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Post by whatagain on Jun 9, 2023 13:20:56 GMT
Our life passage is that daughter nr 2 moved to the appartment in the basement and nr 3 took her larger room. Nobody in the child room.
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Post by kerouac2 on Jun 9, 2023 13:40:26 GMT
That's for the grandchildren now.
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Post by tod2 on Jun 9, 2023 16:13:33 GMT
I missed the beginning of this discussion, and am wondering why you need a British passport, tod. Does it give you options a South African passport does not? Is it for security reasons? How serious is it if all your efforts fail? Kimby, In short we need a British Passport to travel freely and widely without the constraint of having to always apply for a Visa. South Africans cannot enter UK or Europe or USA etc. etc. without first coughing up a large fee and declaring your bank balance for 3 months and a whole lot of other mumbo jumbo. We can travel to Dubai, Singapore and a few other places without a Visa. I have no idea why they welcome us. This Visa business all started with the countries north of us - Zimbabwe for example - flooding in to South Africa illegally or legally and going to our Home Office and obtaining a South African Identity document or passport. From here it was an easy transitiuon into the UK and being lost there. So Britain put the barrier down and said 'Right, you want a holiday them cough up and give us all your pedigree"! Now that we are free agents and can travel at a moments notice, we need proper passports.
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Post by kerouac2 on Aug 1, 2023 9:54:14 GMT
My brother has given me the second installment of his wife's condition. She has been diagnosed with Primary Progressive Aphasia, so things are not looking up. Aphasia isn't as bad as Alzheimer's but it is no picnic. You gradually lose your ability to communicate, first a bit of vocabulary and then moving along to not being able to speak, read or understand what people are saying. However (the bright side?), other functions are not affected -- you can cook, garden, wash your clothes (and yourself), repair your car and continue other functions that you have always done.
This will not stop my brother from becoming very depressed. Luckily, his hemp plants (legal in California) are taller than he is.
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Post by Kimby on Aug 1, 2023 13:20:15 GMT
Sorry to hear this K2. Nice that your brother reached out. Maybe you two will have more contact during your remaining years. Does his wife’s condition shorten her life span? (Other than by accidents like forgetting to turn off the stove…)
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Post by Kimby on Aug 1, 2023 13:29:29 GMT
Attending a 4-generation cousin reunion in Michigan this weekend, I became aware that we are well and truly now the “older generation”.
My oldest cousin is almost 80! And my cousins’ kids, who were toddlers last time I saw most of them, are becoming grandparents themselves.
The thing with family is that there are no strangers. Such a warm and welcoming embrace.
Serendipity: sitting on the plane organizing my thoughts for my 3 minute remarks on my branch of the family on iPhone notes, my 20-something seatmate noticed the heading was her last name! She is the granddaughter of my favorite cousins, and we were friends by the time we left the plane.
I was a bit surprised when she solicitously asked if I needed help with my bag. I’m not THAT old. Yet!
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Post by kerouac2 on Aug 1, 2023 13:45:36 GMT
Sorry to hear this K2. Nice that your brother reached out. Maybe you two will have more contact during your remaining years. Does his wife’s condition shorten her life span? (Other than by accidents like forgetting to turn off the stove…) I don't know about the life span. At the moment she is something like 67 years old. She is one of those pickup truck women, useful in the past when bales of hay had to be hauled around for the horses, but the horse phase ended about 3 or 4 years ago. Anyway, my brother did suggest that I came and visit now that he knows I am travelling again. In past visits I have been climbing the walls within 3 days, but my last visit to his place was about 12 years ago, so I suppose I should make an effort.
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Post by htmb on Aug 1, 2023 15:38:40 GMT
It sounds like your brother is reaching out for your support. If you can visit, it might be very helpful to him and also his wife.
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Post by kerouac2 on Aug 1, 2023 15:48:31 GMT
I would be much more sympathetic if he had helped more with our mother. But I do not intend to "punish" him even though there would be a major risk of cruel truths coming out during a visit.
Actually, I already looked at the idea of flying to Vancouver and renting a car to drive to Buellton, California (and back). But that's 2000km each way and would be kind of stupid, so I discarded that idea (but not the concept of going to Vancouver, where my friends from Singapore live).
Maybe, before the end of the year, I will see about flying to Santa Barbara. Too soon to be sure.
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Post by htmb on Aug 1, 2023 15:58:52 GMT
If you consider flying into San Diego or LA, the Pacific Surfliner is a pleasant train that runs all the way up to Santa Barbara.
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Post by kerouac2 on Aug 1, 2023 16:55:42 GMT
Not a bad idea. It would at least provide a bit of compensation for the rest of the trip.
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Post by mich64 on Aug 1, 2023 17:40:15 GMT
Sorry to read of the diagnosis of your sister-in-law. It was once a concern that Aphasia was causing my speech loss/difficulties as well. My husband and I can attest to the struggles and stress of losing your speech. I do hope her progression is slow and manageable.
The possibilities of expanding on a visit to the area sound promising. I like htmb's input regarding flying into San Diego and taking the train to Santa Barbara.
This coming weekend we are attending the wedding of my brother-in-law of my sister who passed away 3 years ago. He is marrying the maid of honor of their wedding, her best friend. They bonded over grief as she lost her husband 4 months before my sister passed away due to a long battle with brain cancer. We are very happy for them both.
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Post by kerouac2 on Aug 1, 2023 19:21:01 GMT
It's nice when people are able to move on, because we all know plenty of people who are not able to.
As for aphasia, I saw my mother go through it as part of Alzheimer's. She talked less and less and I finally asked her "you don't want to talk anymore, do you?" She said "no." It was a shock several months later when I walked in for a visit one evening and she was talking (a little bit) to a replacement orderly. I felt a bit betrayed, but I also understood that my mother was embarrassed not to be able to talk to me anymore but it was less or a problem to talk to a complete stranger (not even her normal orderlies).
I suppose that is one of the things I could reveal to my brother if I go for a visit.
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Post by htmb on Aug 1, 2023 20:29:10 GMT
Your brother probably looks at you as "the expert" in all things dementia related, and you truly are. You did things he obviously couldn’t do, or wouldn’t do. Now it’s his turn. Knowing you, I’m sure you’ll offer him kindness, understanding and support.
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Post by fumobici on Aug 2, 2023 14:01:33 GMT
I would be much more sympathetic if he had helped more with our mother. But I do not intend to "punish" him even though there would be a major risk of cruel truths coming out during a visit. Actually, I already looked at the idea of flying to Vancouver and renting a car to drive to Buellton, California (and back). But that's 2000km each way and would be kind of stupid, so I discarded that idea (but not the concept of going to Vancouver, where my friends from Singapore live). Maybe, before the end of the year, I will see about flying to Santa Barbara. Too soon to be sure. If you do, let me know. I'll buy you lunch since you'll probably drive right by.
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Post by tod2 on Aug 17, 2023 16:41:02 GMT
I know and understand what you're saying Kerouac, but dealing as expertly as you did would never be achievable for your brother at that distance simply because "out of sight out of mind" syndrome. My sister did what she could but I looked after my mother every day including weekends while she was alive. It is strange but I feel I could have done so much more. But then to what cost? My family, especially my husband would have taken strain. I miss my mother so much. Especially now that I have been forced to go through ancient documents and photos to submit to HMPO in the UK. I'm nearly there.
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Post by tod2 on Aug 20, 2023 13:38:37 GMT
We draw ever nearer to finalising our British Passport applications. Just the digital photos (not more than 3 months old) need to be done, and a copy of my fathers birth certificate which was incorrectly filled in - need the new revised copy.
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Post by htmb on Aug 20, 2023 14:47:31 GMT
That’s very exciting news, tod. You must be thrilled to be so close.
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Post by bixaorellana on Aug 20, 2023 16:23:13 GMT
Great news, Tod! You know many fingers are being crossed on your behalf here on the port.
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Post by whatagain on Sept 8, 2023 15:58:22 GMT
I went to see my uncle. I consider him as my godfather as he is my bro’s and mine died then was replaced by somebody who dropped off. He will be 90 in 2 months. A great person and i told him again so. In shape but losing memory.
He was happy to see me. And so was I.
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Post by kerouac2 on Sept 8, 2023 16:22:10 GMT
The fact that he still knows who you are is already a magnificent achievement. Is he in a care home or still living independently?
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Post by whatagain on Sept 8, 2023 21:05:45 GMT
Semi indépendant.
He lives in a flat but close to his girlfriend (a young one of only 75). He explained to me one of his children takes care of his health another one of his business and the last one of ?
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Post by tod2 on Mar 1, 2024 8:36:21 GMT
We draw ever nearer to finalising our British Passport applications. Just the digital photos (not more than 3 months old) need to be done, and a copy of my fathers birth certificate which was incorrectly filled in - need the new revised copy.
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Post by tod2 on Mar 1, 2024 11:23:26 GMT
On August 20, 2023 I posted "We draw ever nearer to finalising our British Passport applications".
It is now 1 March 2024 and Peter my husband has received his passport, a few weeks ago. I still await the great day.
I would like to tell all the British folks on this board, that your borders are extremely maintained tight shut for anyone not having a relationship with Britain now or in the past. Even though my Great Grandfather (my mother's mother (my Gran) and her mother) was born in Abbess Roding Essex on 3rd April 1863, this counts for nothing. Even though my birth certificate states "British Subject By Birth", this is debatable even though I have never renounced my Kenyan citizenship and therefore have been a British subject all my life without ever knowing it. Coming to South Africa in 1946 I acquired a South African Identity number and later applied for a passport.
Let me start at the very beginning with the process of applying:
Step 1. Submit my original Birth certificate (Luckily my mother had kept this all her life in a file). 2. Submit my Unabridged Marriage certificate. That means they will not accept an Abridged (Original given by the church) Only the copy in Pretoria where all Births, Marriages and Deaths are recorded. This meant applying for it through a tracing agency to hurry the process. At quite a hefty fee. 3. A copy of the Baptism Entry for my mother or birth certificate ( I traced the birth entry in a museum, and her birth record from Pretoria), 4. Submit my parents original Marriage certificate. (Also applied to Pretoria). 5. Applied for my father's Birth certificate in Pretoria. Born 1919 6. My Husbands Vault Copy of his birth certificate. This is a copy taken from the page in the Register, and stamped by Pretoria as certified original. 7. My Father-in-Law's Original Birth certificate.(Born 1912) And luckily we had it in family papers kept by Peters mother. Also my Mother-in-Law's birth certificate was required but all I could submit was the entry of her baptism in the church logbook. Born 1919. 8. My father's original Birth Certificate. Born 1919. This also applied for from Pretoria. He had to submit an affidavit (Many years ago) to receive a Identity documents many years ago as his birth was never registered, 9. A full copy of my current passport - This must include every page even the blank ones. all in colour. 10. Proof of residency in South Africa, in the form of a Tax record, Employment letter (I went for that), Medical Card, Voters Card, Bank Statement or Utility Bill. 11. Letter of Authority which allows my Agent handling my application to discuss it with HMPO. 10. A letter with a photograph and copy of a person holding a passport - Passport photo and details of every page, and how long they have known me. They had to be a person of good standing in the community(we used This is called 'A Signatory' Letter. The person must be 18 or older, Working or retired from a recognised profession, Must have known me for two or more years, cannot be a relative. 11. Submit my Parents marriage certificate. (Again Pretoria have copy). Married Jan 1944.
So I spent weeks and weeks waiting for the certificates and eventually they arrived.
In the meantime we were over joyed when my husbands Passport came but not without serious drama. The office of HMPO decided they did not recognise my husbands Vault Copy of his birth certificate. We had to get our agents to convince them that it was the only copy available. At last they said OK.
Now for my drama: HMPO want more proof for my application.
The email they sent me read thus: WHAT YOU NEED TO DO;
1. Provide a selection of your historic identity documents from the time of your birth to the present day. For example: School records (I left school in 1963), Medical Records (My Dr has retired), Previous Passports (I went for this option and sent them 5 of my passports) Identity card, drivers license, employment history with Payslips , tax confirmations. 2. Provide additional family photographs showing me and my parents from birth ( in the bush of Kenya there was no camera), hi-lite each parent and when the photo was taken. 3. Provide additional photographs of my wedding ceremony which includes the guests. There was no photographer only at the ceremony, so a few photos taken by family at reception). 4. Provide a selection of relationship photographs of me and my husband prior to our marriage, all named and dated ( we met on his birthday 23 June 1963). 5. Confirm the names and birth dates of my children. Even from Previous relationships....which there are none. Only my son got a mention,
If I said it nearly killed me digging out all these photos....I'm not lying. I am not well at the moment but soldiered on and sent off all I could find. The Agent tells me HMPO will have my documents on their desks as I type this morning.
So Britain have no fear - they are making it very very difficult to get a Passport.
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Post by bjd on Mar 1, 2024 11:45:55 GMT
Jeez,Tod, why bother? Isn't it enough to go on vacation with your South African passport from time to time? You aren't planning to go and live in England are you?
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Post by kerouac2 on Mar 1, 2024 12:05:13 GMT
This is totally outrageous. I can't imagine that they do this for every country, but who knows?
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Post by tod2 on Mar 2, 2024 16:55:59 GMT
Hello Kerouac and bjd. Yes the process is extreme but you got to hand it to the Passport officials when it comes to guarding the privilege of possessing a British Passport. The passport allows doors to open but for Peter and I, the passport will allow us far easier travels abroad. With a South African passport we would have to apply for a visa which costs a lot ( I will find out the going rate) the applications to the Embassy of France and England require a lot of documentation, but the worst thing is we have to prepay every train ticket, hotel, and declare our movements around France if we leave Paris for a short time. This is so painful having to decide the exact train times, and hotel or apartment. Payments must be submitted together with the application papers.
We should have done this years ago but still look forward to a few overseas trips.
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