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Post by Don Cuevas on Jun 7, 2009 11:28:33 GMT
I was thinking, about pizzas yesterday, having just recompiled my Gallery of Pizza Pictures. picasaweb.google.com/doncuevas/PizzasAndOtherItaliana?feat=directlinkWhat was the worst pizza I've ever had? There are many contenders for The Absolute Worst. There was the Yankee Doodle Pizza serve at our school lunch at least once: shortdough pie crust topped with bland canned tomato sauce, baked beans and American Cheese. But although disappointing, it was a little better than edible. There was the "Pizza Night" at a well-known (but dire) greasy spoon cafe in the northern Arkansas town in which we lived. I can only remember that it was so bad we couldn't finish it. Don't even ask about the "Chinese Food Night" they did another time. There have been a few other pizza nadirs, mostly in Mexico, where putting bland, cut up wieners on pizza, and canned pineaple is muy popular. (Otoh, we have had a few very good pizzas in Mexico, notably at Pizza Rústica, in Oaxaca.) But possibly, I'd have to give first place to a pizza slice we had in Morelia. It was at a health food bakery, and the Pizza Vegetariana was topped with the requisite blah tomato sauce, but get this: part of the lavish topping was mixed canned vegetables, like peas and carrots and green beans and diced potato. All well overcooked, on a soggy whole wheat crust. I couldn't place the cheese at all. The baker is a friendly acquaintance and a lovely person, so we didn't want to hurt her feelings after we were given a generous sample of what was, frankly, a soggy, bland mess. She was open to learning more about pizza from me, but fate and distance have always intervened and we never could seem to get together. |
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Post by imec on Jun 7, 2009 13:11:43 GMT
Ha, Ha! Great lousy pizza stories DC! And i love your pizza pics. I thought I might be the only one here that takes pictures of my pizzas but I see I may have found a kindred spirit. I'm making pizza tonight so I'll take pics and post.
My lousiest sounds similar to one of yours... In the mid eighties, we lived in Riyadh where the take out pizza was scarce and what you could find was generally crumby. We were told by some fellow Canucks that the food bar at the local A&P supermarket made the most acceptable pie in town. We gave it a try and sure enough it was more than acceptable and it became our go to place for pizza for a couple of years -until...
One evening after a weekly grocery shopping, we decided we would pick up a pizza before we left. Having arrived home, unpacked and slipped a video in the vcr we tucked in to our pizza. Something wasn't right. After some inspection it became apparent that the sauce "recipe" had changed - to ketchup! Upon further investigation it appeared that a new version of pepperoni sausage had been used - wieners - sliced lengthwise! That was our last ever A&P pizza and we never really had decent pizza again until we returned home to Canada.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2009 15:22:18 GMT
Great pizza pictures, Don Cuevas! But now that I have looked at them, my mind has gone blank on the truly awful ones I have sometimes choked down.
However, near the top of the list is an item sold by many French bakeries, which is labeled as pizza but that is just for lack of a better name. It is just something made with the leftover bread dough, covered with tomato sauce, a couple olives and some herbes de Provence. I'm sure that it has a real Provençal name that is not pizza, but people in northern France call anything flat with tomato sauce on it 'pizza'. It is limp, it is soggy, it is greasy, and it is usually eaten cold. Yuck.
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Post by bixaorellana on Jun 7, 2009 15:31:42 GMT
DonC exaggerates not about the general awfulness of Mexican pizza. "Salchicha" will always mean hot dogs, not other sausage, and some magic has been worked to remove every bit of flavor from any tomato sauce used. A major clue to the wrongness is that Mexican pizza arrives with packets of hot sauce and ketchup. In a moment of lazy madness the other day, I bought a frozen pizza. When I got home I realized I hadn't picked up the desired pepperoni pizza, but had accidentally grabbed a "Hawaiana" -- ham and pineapple.  I stuck it in the oven anyway, even though I really hate pineapple on pizza. Lo & behold -- it mattered not, as the pizza was one amorphous mass of salty mush taste. |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2009 15:48:47 GMT
On another site, it was reported by numerous people that sliced hot dogs are now a very popular item on pizzas in Italy.  But what do they know? They're only 3rd in per capita pizza consumption in the world, so they should ask the experts how it's done. |
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Post by imec on Jun 7, 2009 21:19:03 GMT
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Post by bixaorellana on Jun 7, 2009 22:36:56 GMT
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Post by Don Cuevas on Jun 7, 2009 23:53:12 GMT
Great pizza pictures, Don Cuevas! But now that I have looked at them, my mind has gone blank on the truly awful ones I have sometimes choked down. However, near the top of the list is an item sold by many French bakeries, which is labeled as pizza but that is just for lack of a better name. It is just something made with the leftover bread dough, covered with tomato sauce, a couple olives and some herbes de Provence. I'm sure that it has a real Provençal name that is not pizza, but people in northern France call anything flat with tomato sauce on it 'pizza'. It is limp, it is soggy, it is greasy, and it is usually eaten cold. Yuck. Pissaladiére? |
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Post by Don Cuevas on Jun 8, 2009 0:11:52 GMT
Bixa at #3:
"A major clue to the wrongness is that Mexican pizza arrives with packets of hot sauce and ketchup."
Yes, and mayo in squirt bottles.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 8, 2009 4:54:51 GMT
Pissaladière is a totally different item -- no tomato sauce, for one thing. It is more of an onion and anchovy tart. |
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Post by rikita on Jun 9, 2009 21:12:29 GMT
when i was living in prague, there used to be this one pizza place that was always crowded at night, because it was one of the very few eating places that was still open late at night. so everyone went there after a night of drinking. i had many a pizza there, always being drunk at the time though. then, once, i went there during daytime and sober. i was quite horrified when i realized just what i had been eating so often in the months before that, never went there again.
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Post by hwinpp on Jun 10, 2009 6:11:25 GMT
I don't think I've ever had a really bad pizza. I don't remember any incident except for one time where I ordered one with Tuna. Got sick from that for a day.
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Post by happytraveller on Jun 10, 2009 6:25:14 GMT
I don't think I've ever had really bad pizza either. But I do not like the way they are made in the USA. They have not much to do with a pizza I imagine. (Except they come from an authentic italian restaurant of course)
The best pizzas though you get in Corsica. Probably because they use Gruyère cheese instead of Mozzarella, it just gives it a lot more taste. YUMMM ! I could eat one right now even though iti's only 08.25 am !
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Post by mockchoc on Jun 10, 2009 7:50:22 GMT
happytraveller, can you remember what was on your pizzas in corsica?
I love Gruyere but not had it on pizza but this does sound tempting to me instead of the usual mozzarella.
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Post by happytraveller on Jun 10, 2009 8:05:32 GMT
I usually go for the basic, tomato sauce, gruyere and oregano. Sometimes I order a fried egg on top. The pizza base has to be very very thin, the pizza rather big in diameter, it usually comes over the plate.
Sometimes I order the same version with artichokes, funghi, prosciutto or seafood.
Try it out Mockers, it is really nice with Gruyere !
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Post by lagatta on Jun 10, 2009 14:38:31 GMT
Those French pâtisserie pizzas have a gloppy red sauce on them that includes flour or some kind of starch thickener - yecch!
Funny, considering that French baking is generally good. But then, so is Italian food overall, and Italian croissants are as horrible as French pizzas.
Pissaladière is related to pizzas as part of the Mediterranean flatbread family, but different and usually a much better bet in France, even in the north.
I've had a lot of bad pizzas with limp dough and stupid ingredients - not ordered by me, but at meetings and such. Some "vegetarian" pizzas include broccoli, which just doesn't go...
Just thinking, I have a Moroccan friend who has lived and worked in several European countries (in Netherlands now) and he related some German tourists actually ordering sauerkraut on pizza.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 10, 2009 17:04:01 GMT
Finding limp uncooked dough at the bottom of a pizza is just about the worst thing for me, no matter what the ingredients are.
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Post by Don Cuevas on Jun 11, 2009 2:10:01 GMT
Potato, smoked sausage, sauerkraut pizza,with a light caraway rye crust isn't at all bad. But it really isn't pizza.
Otoh, I really like the Sullivan Street Bakery version of Potato Rosemary pizza.
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Post by lagatta on Jun 11, 2009 11:26:21 GMT
Pizza with very fine slices of potato (like a gratin dauphinois), rosemary and olive oil is an Italian classic. I loved getting a slice of that for breakfast when studying in Italy, as I hate sweet Italian breakfast foods.
I have seen something similar to the sauerkraut pizzoid thing in an Italian cookery book; it was supposedly a dish from Northeastern Italy where the food combines Italian and Austrian elements.
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I stuck it in the oven anyway, even though I really hate pineapple on pizza. Lo & behold -- it mattered not, as the pizza was one amorphous mass of salty mush taste.
