Paris, ups and downs

[imec]

On my way to Montreal this week I read in a newspaper that when Parisians get on an elevator they say Bonjour and everyone replies similarly and when leaving the elevator they say Au revoir and again everyone replies.

Is this for real? If so, how incredibly civilized! I'll be looking for elevators all over Paris to experience this. How delightful!

[patricklondon]

I wouldn't be surprised to hear it in a lot of places, but I should think it's much more likely in a residential block where the people would be neighbours anyway, than in, say, a department store.

It would be de rigueur to greet people you know and/or are about to have some sort of dealings with, as in a shop or office (don't Francophone Québécois do that?)

[Deleted]

We have always done it at the office within reason -- for example, in our first office which was in an 8 storey building, and now in another 8 storey building. We did not do it when we were in a 28 storey building and shared the elevator with floors 15 to 28.

However, it is always done when there are just one or two people in the elevator. When it is early in the day, you do not say "au revoir" but "bonne journée."

Visitors also seem to find it strange that we say "Bonjour, monsieur" (or madame) when we get into a taxi. Most people also greet the bus driver when they get on. And the bus driver always replies in kind.

[imec]

Well, I guess I'll see for myself in 49 days (!). But who's counting...

[lagatta]

We certainly greet bus and taxi drivers, and people working in the same office building would certainly say "bonjour", "bonne journée and au revoir if people are leaving work. Many Montréalais also say "merci" to the bus driver when exiting the bus.

[Jazz]

May 16, 2009 17:03:54 GMT imec said:

On my way to Montreal this week I read in a newspaper that when Parisians get on an elevator they say Bonjour and everyone replies similarly and when leaving the elevator they say Au revoir and again everyone replies.

Is this for real? If so, how incredibly civilized! I'll be looking for elevators all over Paris to experience this. How delightful!

Imec, you will find this in far more than elevators, you will find it everywhere. I love this about Paris and it is incredibly civilized. When entering a shop...a bakery, a department store, a wine shop, a museum...anywhere...I found it was important to say bonjour and au revoir, bonsoir etc. The quality of your visit will be effected by whether or not you take the time for these simple courtesies. I found the French to be a much more formal people and this has led to many misunderstandings of their 'rudeness' or haughtiness. Your waitress will not approach you with 'Hi hon, I'm Chloe and your waitress for the night'. In contrast is their love of the 'small' moments of civility, such as addressing a clerk when entering and leaving a shop. This is not comman in Toronto...we often maintain staunch silence.

By this post, it is now 48 days until you arrive in Paris! There are a few Paris 'experts' here... Kerouac, of course, but also bjd, Lagatta, and possibly BazFaz and BigIain....I would only be your 'seasoned tourist', having spent just a few months there. Have a lovely time and I think that if you have any questions, they would be answered here.

[lola]

Our first night in France a few years ago, the four of us wandered into a small convenience store in Sete. I'd forgotten to greet the man at the counter, who was speaking to another customer anyway. I noted his hostile and suspicious look, and later realized that it was probably because of our apparent discourtesy. He was not used to tourists from less civilized shores.

[bjd]

You don't actually have to greet the guy behind the counter if he is talking to someone else. Just say "bonjour" or "bonsoir" or whatever into the air -- that's enough. Of course, if there is no-one else in the shop you say "bonjour, Monsieur or Madame" directly to the person behind the counter.

In fact, I tend to leave off the Monsieur or Madame. But I always greet bus drivers when I get on. And if it's not too crowded, I notice people around here tend to say thank you or good bye when they get off the bus.

A Polish friend who lives here told me that she automatically greets neighbours when she meets them on the stairs in her apartment building. She did the same thing in Poland and was met with uncomprehending looks.

[lola]

I say Hello and Thank You to bus drivers here in my town, and whether I get a response depends upon their grouchiness level.

[spindrift]

There are few of these courtesies in England.

[bjd]

Last year someone lent me "Watching the English". One of the things the sociologist who wrote it claims is that the English don't like to talk to strangers. Maybe that's why they don't use those courtesies, Spindrift?

[patricklondon]

>>There are few of these courtesies in England. <<

There are, but in different ways and in different circumstances. I seem to remember "Watching the English" goes into this in some detail.

[gertie]

I recall greeting on entry to shops when I was young, but I then lived in a small town and the local places were small and usually not self service. Now you rarely see it, I believe since most places are so self service and all the small places have been driven out by supermarkets and Wally World. The only real exceptions are yard sales, perhaps craft sales, and those few local restaurants where people know one another in small towns. Perhaps that sort of thing has hung on longer in small towns in Texas and southern Oklahoma? (the only areas I have recent knowledge of these things, perhaps other southern areas as well for all I know)

Sorry, had to add in people here usually open doors as in gentlemen for ladies, younger for older, and the like. Even the younger people generally do this. I was quite put off last time I visited up north (I won't name states) I swear they'd slam the door on granny carrying the baby and never think twice. I made a comment on that, my uncle said he used to open doors but got sick of being chewed out by women for doing it.

[Deleted]

In France, I sometimes feel that people hold doors too much. It is a peeve of mine that they will hold a door open when I am nowhere near it yet, causing me to rush to it when I was not in a hurry at all.

[fumobici]

In Italy one greets the shopkeeper, barista etc. when entering a small business and says good bye upon leaving. It is apparently considered rude not to. Ipermarkets and department stores there feel icily Anglo-american by comparison.

[bjd]

Supermarket cashiers in France greet each customer, and at the end, the customer and cashier always say "thankyou, goodbye". Any chitchat during the ringing up depends on the cashier, busyness, etc. In France, we pack our own groceries, so there is not always time to chat to the cashier.

[Deleted]

There is cashier chat in American supermarkets but mostly only when you get to the paying part and the "have a nice day."

Of course in small town supermarkets where everybody knows everybody else, it gets out of hand.

[gertie]

Small towns always seem to be rather a creature unto themselves, no matter where in the world they are.

[cigalechanta]

even passing people on a path in France they will say bonjour but not here. Entering a breakfast room it is the same.

[fumobici]

I'm not sure what "here" means or what a breakfast room is exactly.

[imec]

Ha! I had forgotten about this thread. In fact the first day I was in Paris a gentleman got on the elevator and said Bonjour (or may have been Bonsoir) and then said Au revoir as he exited - I was delighted!

[Jazz]

Mar 17, 2010 16:19:54 GMT gertie said:

Small towns always seem to be rather a creature unto themselves, no matter where in the world they are.

Gertie, I agree with you. In 'small town Ontario" people always acknowledge each other. In 'the big city', much less so.

I'd also forgotten about this thread, but it fascinates me. In Paris, I loved the ritual and made sure that I followed local custom. It made me feel somehow 'at home'. Yet another level of being in French culture. (and, other cultures?)

What became truly interesting was that after my first month in Paris I decided to try this out in Toronto. Wonderful. My former habit was to enter and leave a shop, a bus, etc without a greeting. Lagatta, I gather that this is different in Montreal? Now, I greeted a person, (who was a tad startled). There was a minimal exchange and more than often, a conversation! I like this.

Cigalechanta, good to hear from you again!

[mich64]

I live in a small city (55,000) and we have a Walmart greeter. Her job is to stand there and say hello and goodbye to as many as she can who enter or exit. When I was standing and waiting for someone and just happened to watch her, I was amazed at how many people tried to avoid her! I think she finds it amusing and I am sure there are some that make her day.

I have enjoyed the custom from travelling and practice it at home now. When I am planning a trip, I read up on local customs so I do not offend someone or embarass myself, for example in Austria they say Gros Gott (spelling??) as a greeting. We used it and received many smiles and greeting back.

[bixaorellana]

How funny that people would try to avoid the greeter! I wonder why.

I was on a plane with a seat up front. I watched as the the very animated and attractive attendant greeted every passenger with a nice smile and a hello as the person passed her. It was strange to see how many people either ignored her or even scowled.

[mich64]

I think the shoppers think she is trying to sell them something like at the big department stores that have perfume attendants at the entrances trying to spray you with the newest fragrances. I now make a point of saying hello and smiling to her.

[Deleted]

We big city people mistrust anyone who says hello for no reason: Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses, beggars, scam artists, crazies. However, in an elevator, they are travelling companions, so it is normal to greet them.