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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2010 7:17:58 GMT
I thought this was interesting in the New York Times today: The five things most likely to cause injury to children up to age 18 are: car accidents, homicide (usually at the hands of someone they know), child abuse, suicide or drowning. The five things that parents are most worried about: kidnapping, school snipers, terrorists, dangerous strangers and drugs. Full article here.
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Post by spaceneedle on Sept 21, 2010 20:11:43 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 22, 2010 5:33:55 GMT
As much as I try to cut parents (mostly mothers) some slack when I see them shrieking at their child, "Get down from there! You're going to hurt yourself!" -- this, often when the child has climbed on a retaining wall perhaps a foot high -- it is really hard to understand what causes such extreme reactions. And yet I have known some accident-prone children who are capable or knocking their teeth out just walking down the street or breaking an arm while playing catch. I just don't think they are as common as the shrieking parents would have one believe.
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Post by spaceneedle on Oct 1, 2010 5:49:24 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 1, 2010 7:13:01 GMT
That article is extremely depressing. I remember a movie a few years ago where there was a scene showing an older man staying with his young bimbo girlfriend in an old motel. (The car had broken down or something -- it was not their first choice of motel.) He had to leave her alone, and when she wanted to make a phone call, she stared at the rotary dial in despair and then stuck her fingers in the holes to try to get touch tones out of them. It was supposed to be funny, but I found it both accurate and very sad.
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Post by betsie on Oct 1, 2010 8:42:57 GMT
I thought this was interesting in the New York Times today: The five things most likely to cause injury to children up to age 18 are: car accidents, homicide (usually at the hands of someone they know), child abuse, suicide or drowning. The five things that parents are most worried about: kidnapping, school snipers, terrorists, dangerous strangers and drugs. Full article here. School snipers and terrorists are certainly not on the list of Dutch parents' worries. In Holland kids are still pretty free, they all cycle to school (sometimes long distances) and play outside and roam the streets, whereas in the UK parents have a much greater anxiety neurosis about kids' freedom. I just wish parents would be more aware of the dangers of driving when they have teenage sons. At the school I worked at (a country school in a small town of 9,000 residents), we had a driving death of one or more pupils almost every year. The part of the brain that makes us assess risks and apply caution is not fully developed at that age. Add to that testosterone surges and the urge to show off and be reckless and you have a dangerous situation. I really do feel that males should not be allowed a driving license until they are 23 or so. I also had 2 pupils who committed suicide, both boys. Both from good homes. Both hanged themselves, one in his bedroom, where his mother found him, and one in the nearby woods. In neither case was it a sudden decision; I think some people are just born with a death wish, they would just prefer not to be alive. Finally, one of my ex-pupils murdered another of my ex-pupils. They had a relationship when they went to university. The girl broke with him and he strangled her. I can still see them both in the first year class, 12 years old, all shiney and new, with their new book-bags and lunch boxes...
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Post by mickthecactus on Oct 1, 2010 12:32:37 GMT
Betsie, I was reading that and thinking of my grandsons aged 11 and 9 that I love very much.........
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Post by onlymark on Oct 1, 2010 14:30:01 GMT
As regards the pure act of evaluating risk, I wonder if any study has been done as regards the differences between people in different parts of the world (culturally?). What I mean is that the amount of perceived danger from something in the UK is entirely different to what it is in Egypt. No-one in the UK would drive down the motorway with their 5 year old sitting on their lap holding the steering wheel whilst they are on their mobile and the rest of the eight kids in the car climbing all over the place. Yet it is quite common here and not thought of as being dangerous - otherwise they probably wouldn't do it.
Anyway, drowning is not a fear here, nor are snipers, strangers, terrorists, suicide or murder. In fact, thinking about it, there is very little fear here of anything. It is all the will of Allah (unless you are a Copt).
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Post by fumobici on Oct 1, 2010 14:49:10 GMT
Fear is of course largely both subjective and irrational in nature. What people fear and what they are actually at risk from are often only tenuously related. It is also an incredibly effective motivator and as such uniquely useful tool for manipulating people without that manipulation being subject to their conscious rational scrutiny. Politicians and marketing types understand this all too well.
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Post by betsie on Oct 1, 2010 15:24:06 GMT
As regards the pure act of evaluating risk, I wonder if any study has been done as regards the differences between people in different parts of the world (culturally?). What I mean is that the amount of perceived danger from something in the UK is entirely different to what it is in Egypt. No-one in the UK would drive down the motorway with their 5 year old sitting on their lap holding the steering wheel whilst they are on their mobile and the rest of the eight kids in the car climbing all over the place. Yet it is quite common here and not thought of as being dangerous - otherwise they probably wouldn't do it. There are irresponsible idiots all over the world, including the UK, who would do it if it wasn't against the law. Yep, I've heard that line before: when a Moroccan youth kicked a Dutch boy to death for asking him to show some respect to an old lady he was terrorising on the street, his parents went on TV and said, "it was the will of Allah, our son was just his instrument." The Egyptians I've had contact with in the Netherlands have a lot of anxieties about their children: they aren't allowed to go to children's parties in case they eat something that isn't halal, they don't want their daughters to have swimming lessons at school because it is immodest, school parties will corrupt them, etc., etc.
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Post by onlymark on Oct 1, 2010 16:58:02 GMT
Doing the car thing is illegal here too, but it doesn't stop them. Maybe the 'fear' of breaking the law is different, but that's a different subject. I do know that the priorities of the parents as regards the safety of their children is far different to more western countries.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 1, 2010 17:10:20 GMT
In terms of younger children, I would say that the current "flavour of the day" in Europe is the fear of pedophiles, even if most people don't go to church. For the older children, it would be drugs or just generally hanging out with the wrong crowd. Some parents worry about the "scarf game" which kills children regularly, but very few compared to many other things.
In reality, of course, most of them die in stupid accidents, often caused by their parents' automobiles or a lack of surveillance at places like the beach or riverside.
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Post by betsie on Oct 1, 2010 17:25:22 GMT
My greatest fear was that my daughter would go missing and be sexually molested or murdered.
I made her follow a self-defence course, and she actually used her skills once when she was attacked at the age of 16. She smashed his nose and jumped back on her bike while he recovered from the shock and wiped the blood from his face.
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Post by cristina on Oct 2, 2010 1:47:03 GMT
Its hard to remember what worried most when my children were little. Mostly, I think, it was injury from cars or just falling off something.
Now that they are young adults, I probably worry more than I did when they were toddlers. Even though they are relatively astute, they have no idea, for example, that there is a drunk driver cruising behind them.
I worry most about my children who aren't living within my arms' reach.
I have become my mother. (which really makes me much more sympathetic to my own mother, who still worries about me now....not knowing how much I worry about her.)
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2010 5:15:44 GMT
Apparently, the United States twisted the UK's arm sufficiently to get them on the "European terrorist risks" bandwagon, so they published a warning.... about Corsican separatists.
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