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Post by whatagain on May 29, 2022 20:26:10 GMT
Congrats to you Lugg !
Thanks Bjd for the explanation - i love this kind of stuff.
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Post by Kimby on May 29, 2022 23:01:54 GMT
I am giddy with excitement - my son is getting married on Thursday…. It is not a traditional wedding and I am part of the ceremony helping with the hand fasting... Is this a throwback to the Renaissance or something? My nibling (niece, in pre-gender-queer days) will be getting “married” in November and theirs will also be a hand-binding ceremony. And not a legal marriage. Just a sort of commitment ceremony. (I presume they will expect the wedding guests to bring gifts however, as we would for an actual marriage.) Will your son and his fiancé or fiancée be getting a marriage license and making it legal, lugg?
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Post by kerouac2 on May 30, 2022 2:09:59 GMT
We've heard about 'tying the knot' all of our lives but a lot of us had no idea of the origin. It still sounds like a symbolic 'ball-and-chain' thing to me, though.
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Post by lugg on May 30, 2022 20:05:33 GMT
Thank you all for your congratulations. Hand fasting is an ancient Celtic tradition dating back at least 2000 years ...but it was then used to denote a betrothal / engagement. I think though that its found in many cultures in many different ways. Will your son and his fiancé or fiancée be getting a marriage license and making it legal, lugg? Well they actually got legally married last week straight after work with no fuss and two friends as witnesses. When they started planning for their marriage a few years ago, outside venues were not permitted/legally ok in England (generally- there were a few exceptions). Of course that changed due to Covid and now outside venues are legally able to conduct marriage ceremonies with the proviso they are registered to do so.
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Post by whatagain on May 31, 2022 20:52:46 GMT
Soooo. A good friend of our daughter os supposed to help us with the garden. He was a gardener before going back to school as a kinesitherapist. He was to come on saturday but once more didn't show up. Nothing unusual. But. Today we kearn he got an accident. Crashed his car. Drunk. Disfigured. Since he only got hurt in the face and was drunk, i can imagine he had no safety belt. Well, we will have to find another gardener. And i should start counting the number of her friends who crashed their cars.
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Post by cheerypeabrain on May 31, 2022 20:55:15 GMT
When you interview the next gardener it's something to bear in mind! Maybe Mick could pop over once a week
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Post by mickthecactus on May 31, 2022 21:04:01 GMT
£15 per hour plus expenses.
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Post by bixaorellana on May 31, 2022 21:09:51 GMT
That's seems awfully reasonable!
But be sure to include all the Belgian beer you can drink, should you accept the W.Again post.
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Post by mickthecactus on May 31, 2022 21:14:17 GMT
No drinking on the job.
£10 per hour for a labourer
£15 per hour for an experienced gardener
£25 per hour for a gardener with professional qualifications
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Post by whatagain on May 31, 2022 21:22:38 GMT
Thst os the expenses that get me worried. An Eurostar each time...
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Post by mickthecactus on Jun 1, 2022 6:52:51 GMT
I'll bring my own lawnmower though.
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Post by kerouac2 on Jun 1, 2022 11:12:36 GMT
I hope it fits in the overhead rack on the Eurostar.
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Post by whatagain on Jun 4, 2022 1:04:34 GMT
I had a great day today. I accompanied/led my ukrainian family to my banker to get a bankaccount opened Then my wife - who is a saint - whom i wanted to divorce again yesterday for a lot of valid reasons - asked me to find a good hotel near Langres - which I did. I also brought my 2 youngest daughters to a cuban cafe/restaurant. Food was great and cocktails better. Upon coming home we played poker. I lost, as is normal with me, but being half plastered i was on an obsession of mine. I wanted to convey that Marie is born out of love, not out of a replacement strategy. I think i scored. She met my explanations with a bored look - yes Daddy you already said it - but i kept going stubbornly - she was made out of love and no other reason. I was not drunk enough not to see she was unimpressed. She knows we wanted her, not as a replacement but because we wanted her. It bothers me, and i understand it should not, and it doesn't bother her. But it is one of if not my worst fear. She mustn't think she was born out of spite. She was born out of love. Maybe from a strong desire to overcome death and devastation. But without love she would not be there. And i think she understands it better than i try to explain it. But it is within me. The fear she thinks she is 'just' a replacement. My fear. My problem. That will stay in my head. But not in hers. Hopefully. Mercifully. Sometimes we create our own problems. But it seems it is my problem. Not her problem. And what a relief. I should understand. I mean, i have covered all the angles. And i know she comes out of love, not spite. Still i fear she might think, one day... Do we create our own hell ? I know i overthink. But i prefer to suffer lest she thinks she was not wanted. Because she was desired. And for all the good reasons. Yet i still need reassurance. When she doesn't. Or i hope she doesn't. I know i am overthinking. It is so important.
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Post by kerouac2 on Jun 4, 2022 10:54:13 GMT
Whatagain, you are one of the luckiest people I know. You have a great job and a great family and a great place to live in two great countries. Most people can only dream of such things.
You are also one of the most generous people I know. If anybody needed proof, taking in a Ukrainian family probably put their minds at rest.
And of course, this has not protected you from personal tragedy. Nobody has a cure for this and outside advice is useless. You have probably heard "you need to get on with your life" a million more times that you want. Any time you need advice, ask your youngest daughter. I think she has understood everything and is the person who can best help you when you have doubts.
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Post by cheerypeabrain on Jun 4, 2022 11:52:21 GMT
Wise words from Mr K, beautifully put (as usual) . I wholeheartedly agree.
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Post by whatagain on Jun 4, 2022 14:16:59 GMT
Thanks both.
Sometimes i just need to voice my fears and knowing some people understand is of huge help.
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Post by questa on Jun 4, 2022 23:32:25 GMT
This is one occcasion where the child can teach the parent. Many belief systems believe the child does choose its parents, if so you are a good example of the wisdom of infants, she picked your family. She KNOWS she is not replacing anyone and is maybe a bit stressed if you feel you must reassure her too much.
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Post by kerouac2 on Jun 7, 2022 17:37:24 GMT
Besides the arrival of Ukraine 24 on my television, all of the Russian channels have now been removed.
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Post by whatagain on Jun 12, 2022 13:02:57 GMT
Fathers day is today.
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Post by bixaorellana on Jun 12, 2022 15:45:27 GMT
❤️
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Post by casimira on Jun 12, 2022 17:37:33 GMT
How lovely and thoughtful. Best wishes to one of the most devoted and loving fathers I have had the pleasure to "know" Whatagain. xx
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Post by kerouac2 on Jun 12, 2022 17:39:02 GMT
I thought just about every dad was the best dad. Who is eligible to vote?
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Post by lugg on Jun 15, 2022 16:44:10 GMT
That's lovely Whatagain x
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Post by lugg on Jun 15, 2022 16:46:14 GMT
Please ignore all the posts on the Herefordshire public garden sub board for now - Bixa is helping me to sort my garden thread into something much more manageable. She is a saint dealing with my general IT ineptness. In fact this probably belongs in Little Things That Mean A Lot thread. Once it is ok and sorted will post again here .
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Post by mickthecactus on Jun 15, 2022 16:52:47 GMT
I did wonder!
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Post by lugg on Jun 15, 2022 17:38:24 GMT
you thought I was losing the plot Mick ? Well I was
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Post by bixaorellana on Jun 15, 2022 23:43:39 GMT
Please ignore all the posts on the Herefordshire public garden sub board for now - Bixa is helping me to sort my garden thread into something much more manageable. She is a saint dealing with my general IT ineptness. In fact this probably belongs in Little Things That Mean A Lot thread. Once it is ok and sorted will post again here . Bixa is the worst kind of distracted moron who should probably be shot before she manages to ruin something else. Note that Lugg's post was written several hours ago, before she learned that the world as she knew it was about to go up in flames and that she should never trust anyone again. Lugg claims she has "general IT ineptness". Bixa does not claim that for herself, in fact is supposed to be fairly competent. That makes what idiot girl The Helper did all the worse.
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Post by fumobici on Jun 16, 2022 14:06:48 GMT
It was a beautiful thread, I was going to reply to it after looking at all the lovely photos, only to be told it no longer existed!
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Post by kerouac2 on Jun 16, 2022 14:17:54 GMT
That's as bad as someone accidentally deleting his own account one day.
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Post by bixaorellana on Jun 16, 2022 14:30:25 GMT
Thanks, Fumobici. I feel a lot better now. Kerouac appears to understand the shock & self-loathing I'm experiencing. There appears to be a way to (mostly) restore the report. Everyone cross fingers.
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