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Post by gringalais on Mar 16, 2009 19:20:18 GMT
Have you ever done this? Stories?
My husband and his friend who was his witness at the wedding both thought my friend who was my witness (the one who doesn't follow her own advice regarding men) was really nice, smart and attractive. So they got talking about why she can't find a good guy. They are now hatching a scheme to fix her up with another of the lawyers who works with them. From what they say, he definitely sounds better than her exes. Apparently, he would like to be in a serious relationship, but is a bit shy.
Later this month, we are going out with their co-workers to celebrate a few birthdays and also the wedding. They want me to invite her so she can meet him. I am not sure. At least it would be in a group setting, not one-on-one, but I have never done something like that before. I am debating running the idea by her.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 16, 2009 19:24:04 GMT
I hate the idea, but I did set up one couple once because it was the only time I ever thought that it was a perfect match. It was absolute and total love at first sight. I continued to see them for about 4 years and then they moved away to a distant city because their love was so intense they just couldn't stand to see people from the past anymore.
I hope they are still together.
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Post by Kimby on Mar 16, 2009 21:07:40 GMT
I met my husband as the result of being set up by a roommate.
I say go for it. Especially since it's not one-on-one but a group affair. Don't you want your friend to have the happiness you and Mr. Gringa share?
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Post by bixaorellana on Mar 16, 2009 21:53:30 GMT
I agree. However, I wouldn't advise either part of the potential couple beforehand. That's all they need ~~ the feeling that rest of you are eyeing them, wondering if it's going to "take". In a congenial setting, each should be able to see the others virtues.
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Post by gyro on Mar 17, 2009 5:23:58 GMT
"because their love was so intense they just couldn't stand to see people from the past anymore."
What the fuck ? ! ?
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Post by gyro on Mar 17, 2009 5:24:41 GMT
Oh, and I reckon at least 75%-90% of 'set up' dates never work, minimum.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2009 5:57:11 GMT
"because their love was so intense they just couldn't stand to see people from the past anymore." What the fuck ? ! ? That's what the rest of us thought, too. |
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Post by gyro on Mar 17, 2009 6:06:34 GMT
I still have no idea what that means, aside from the sort of shit you hear in stupid movies.
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Post by happytraveller on Mar 17, 2009 6:37:38 GMT
Some years ago I was talking to a colleague about my friend who had been single for quite some years and he mentioned his friend who was in the same situation. We organised that they would meet at carneval. They have just celebrated their 9th anniversary.  |
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Post by gyro on Mar 17, 2009 8:09:50 GMT
And for every good story ......
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Post by spindrift on Mar 17, 2009 8:41:00 GMT
I've set up a lunch on Thursday so I can introduce a great friend of mine to someone who might be 'just the ticket'.....they are both gay...
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Post by gyro on Mar 17, 2009 8:46:07 GMT
I would like to add that I don't think it's necessarily a BAD thing, unless it's done without either of both of the parties in question's knowledge.
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Post by spindrift on Mar 17, 2009 8:48:29 GMT
Yes, both my friends see very eager to meet...
I don't mind being 'set up' with someone. I can always walk away from a situation.
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Post by bixaorellana on Mar 17, 2009 9:19:55 GMT
I would like to add that I don't think it's necessarily a BAD thing, unless it's done without either of both of the parties in question's knowledge. I think if you just want to introduce two people you like to each other in the hope that they'll hit it off, there is not reason to tell them that. It's not as though you're going to lock them into a room together until they mate. |
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Post by gyro on Mar 17, 2009 9:58:58 GMT
I think if they don't know or agree, it's condescending, assumptive, intrusive and rude.
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Post by bixaorellana on Mar 17, 2009 11:08:43 GMT
Why? It's no different than having any other people you know meet at a mixed social gathering.
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Post by gyro on Mar 17, 2009 11:15:34 GMT
Yes it is. It's FAR more deliberate and contrived. And all too often, people in a relationship think single people are unhappy just because they are single. A social gathering is entirely different as it doesn't have a sepcific motive and purpose in that sense.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2009 11:30:18 GMT
I'm a bit on the fence on this. I tend to agree with G. about it being deliberate and contrived. I've played cupid before and I'm trying to remember, I think it was more of a social gathering (club,party) but never a intimate dinner,date thing.
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Post by gyro on Mar 17, 2009 11:41:51 GMT
Playing cupid should ALWAYS be with the agreement of the two people involved, it's as simple as that.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2009 12:40:48 GMT
I agree with Gyro.
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Post by gyro on Mar 17, 2009 12:45:18 GMT
Oh, shit.
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Post by gringalais on Mar 17, 2009 14:24:36 GMT
I would tell my friend and have them tell the co-worker. With her I would pretty much have to tell her because otherwise she would wonder why she was being invited to something that mainly includes my husband's co-workers. My friend met a few of them at the wedding, but there is no other connection.
As far as assuming they are not happy because they are single, that is not an issue here. After her break-up with the latest in her string of losers, she was saying that she really wanted to meet someone who was not such a momma's boy and who has his act together. So she definitely is looking to meet someone and he has also said he would like to be in a relationship.
I agree, there is a good chance it will not work out, but at least sounds better than the guys she typically dates.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2009 14:36:18 GMT
Go for it!
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Post by gringalais on Mar 27, 2009 17:31:57 GMT
Well the dinner is tonight, but we didn't get to give it a try. We talked last week and she mentioned going to the beach this weekend, leaving right after work today, so she won't even be around.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 27, 2009 18:07:29 GMT
She smelled the trap!
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Post by gringalais on Mar 27, 2009 18:16:11 GMT
;D K2 , no. Finally the apartment she bought at the beach with her ex, and which she had to rent out for the summer months, is vacant. She wants to spend some time there since she has barely been able to use it. I'm hoping the momma's boy ex doesn't pay her a visit.
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Post by Kimby on Mar 27, 2009 21:08:49 GMT
then they moved away to a distant city because their love was so intense they just couldn't stand to see people from the past anymore. I can kinda understand this. You folks all knew them as they were, and carried a stereotype of them in your minds. They wanted to get away from those preconceived notions and go somewhere where they would be accepted for who they are in their new couple incarnation. |
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Post by gringalais on Mar 30, 2009 17:38:09 GMT
Well, I met the guy at the dinner on Friday. Probably better my friend wasn't around. He was nice enough, but he definitely doesn't seem like her type at all.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 30, 2009 17:43:40 GMT
Actually, I have been 'introduced' just for possible friendship reasons to certain people and have been consistently horrified by the people with whom it was imagined that I might possibly have affinities. It just confirmed to me that even though I think I have some very close friends, they don't really know me at all. (Probably my fault -- I am a tough nut to crack.)
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Post by auntieannie on Mar 30, 2009 17:57:41 GMT
There was a former friend of mine who kept organising dinner at her and her husband's place with always another man. It was horrible and each time the repulsion was immediate and shared by both the prospective man and myself. The setting above would have been friendlier, though as it's a group.
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