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Post by bixaorellana on Feb 3, 2017 4:19:44 GMT
Any way you look at it, it's a change in the landscape of your life, Fumobici. It's great that you're looking forward to seeing everyone. Have a good trip.
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Post by htmb on Feb 3, 2017 4:34:36 GMT
Best wishes, Fumobici.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 3, 2017 4:42:59 GMT
Oh, I am so, so sorry, fumo.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 3, 2017 5:43:11 GMT
Sorry to hear the news, but at least it was not unexpected. It appears that just about all of us have had time to brace ourselves for these departures.
Family reunions at funerals or memorial services are often the best, unlike marriages where fights can break out.
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Post by bjd on Feb 3, 2017 6:24:42 GMT
As Kerouac says, the death of very old people who have been ill and are ready to die often become an occasion for family members to meet up. So life goes on. This said, death of a loved one, especially a parent, is still an emotional moment and a reminder of our own mortality.
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Post by MossMossie on Feb 3, 2017 11:41:53 GMT
My condolences Fumobici, always a difficult time.
I recall my father, who was 91, but had always enjoyed good health but his general strength and condition just faded away. He had been in the local authority old peoples home for afew months. His brother who was a few years younger was brought in, having strained himself sorting out the church clock. He did not live too much longer and died peacefully in his sleep. A week or so later when I was visiting my father he said "I wish I coiuld pop off like old Jack", but he lasted a few more weeks.
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Post by fumobici on Feb 3, 2017 19:29:16 GMT
Thanks guys. This is a tough one and every little bit of commiseration and condolence helps a bit.
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Post by htmb on Feb 3, 2017 19:33:44 GMT
It's never easy, no matter the age of someone who's died, but let's hope the gathering with other family members will help you though this sad time.
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Post by mich64 on Feb 4, 2017 0:50:28 GMT
My condolences Fumo. Wishing you a safe journey to be with your family.
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Post by whatagain on Feb 5, 2017 14:40:51 GMT
Good thing that the clan is full of love. Guess it doesn't make the loss of your father easier to cope with but at least you know you can close ranks with loving ones.
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Post by rikita on Feb 8, 2017 0:01:21 GMT
condolences ...
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Post by Kimby on Mar 3, 2017 4:11:12 GMT
Uh oh. Phone call from Florida tonite. Mr. Kimby's 93- year old mother fell and broke her hip today. This is not good. She's in a lot of pain, but is being medicated to the point that she's slurring her speech. She's probably going to have surgery tomorrow. Mr. Kimby foresees weeks or months of recovery in rehab, assuming there aren't complications with the surgery. I wonder if she will be returning to her apartment at all...
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Post by Deleted on Mar 3, 2017 5:01:00 GMT
That's bad news. Broken hips do not forgive you after about age 85. Common "wisdom" here is that the person will be gone within 6 months and I have seen very few cases where that is not true.
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Post by tod2 on Mar 3, 2017 7:15:54 GMT
Oh dear Oh dear! Kerouac is right about broken hips at a ripe old age. It was my late mother's fear and luckily when she did have a fall the fact that she fell against the wall first, managed to slow the descent to the floor and so she only got a huge bruise. She was convinced her hip was broken and after X-Rays and a doctor pronouncing her OK, she accepted the terrible pain and lived on pain killers. Unfortunately the shock was a lot to do with her passing away a few months later.
I am led to believe it's not the fracture but the onset of pneumonia that is deadly. When they can't move about the lungs suffer.
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Post by bjd on Mar 3, 2017 12:30:29 GMT
Our 94-year old neighbour at the coast just broke her leg, not the hip. She is in a rest home after the operation and will have physiotherapy. Her daughter told us that her mother is now worried about living alone and thinks she should maybe go into an old age home. I hope not because she is really friendly.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 3, 2017 14:37:54 GMT
Actually when my grandmother broke her hip at age 90, they managed to put her back together and get her walking again even though convalescence was long and slow. And her walking ability went down about 80%. That is why the very last restaurant meal that I was able to take her to was at McDonald's at a shopping mall. I parked the car next to the outside door, managed to get her to the very first booth, and she was thrilled to eat McNuggets and fries. With a month or two, she fell and broke her hip a second time, and she was gone within 3 months.
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Post by tod2 on Mar 3, 2017 15:02:02 GMT
bjd - I don't think many children of aged parents realize how afraid they feel. I for one used to fob off many worries my mother had with a cheery "Oh mom, it will never happen, stop worrying" Even in an old age home there is no guarantees she wont fall. They do, all the time.
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Post by Kimby on Mar 3, 2017 16:17:14 GMT
After her fall, MIL could have lain on the floor for hours or days, since she lives alone, if not for the minor miracle that Mr. Kimby had gotten her a medical alert button on a pendant just a week or so earlier, that she was wearing it at the time and that she remembered it was there, and how to use it. Surgery later today. Mr. Kimby is now on the phone arranging care for her kitty while she is away, suspending her newspaper subscription and cancelling meals on wheels until further notice. And he's debating whether he should fly down there and when. We already have tickets for an April visit, but that isn't soon enough. Plus we have not one but two sick kitties to deal with, so I'll have to stay here with them.
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Post by tod2 on Mar 3, 2017 16:32:31 GMT
Kimby you poor people. What a thing to happen. Just do your best but don't neglect yourselves. Things will work out. You'll see. Best of luck to you both and I'm thinking of a dear old lady in terrible pain and frightened to death. Tell her I say 'stay strong' there are worse things that could happen. She needs lots and lots of warm love.
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Post by Kimby on Mar 3, 2017 21:20:03 GMT
And she's a relatively recent widow too, with no family nearby. Long distance love and care. For now, anyway.
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Post by Kimby on Mar 4, 2017 18:45:32 GMT
Well, she survived the surgery, and we have been able to talk to the nurse, but not to MIL, because they apparently put her in a room with a phone that isn't working. Arrrgh!
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Post by Kimby on Mar 4, 2017 18:49:51 GMT
Mr. Kimby spent much of the day on the phone yesterday, arranging for the kitty to be looked in on, since she may be hospitalized and in rehab for a month, meals on wheels to be cancelled ("But what will I eat?" "Mom, the hospital will feed you."), the newspaper delivery to be suspended and the mail to be forwarded to us. He also called his (estranged, but becoming less-so) brother to let him know what is going on with their Mom. It's a waiting game now.
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Post by Kimby on Mar 6, 2017 21:41:22 GMT
Being hospitalized is really messing with MIL's mind. She had pretty bad short-term memory, but since hip surgery has become very confused, and has forgotten that she fell and can't figure out why she's tied to a bed. (They had to use retaining straps to keep her from pulling out her IV and trying to get out of bed.) She's very suspicious of the intentions of the people around her, thinks maybe they are trying to scam her. Ay yi yi!
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2017 21:46:59 GMT
When my grandmother broke her hip, she was very confused and wanted me to help her escape from the clinic because an evil nurse was trying to harm her. When I wouldn't go along with the plan she said that I was a coward.
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Post by tod2 on Mar 7, 2017 7:26:28 GMT
It all adds up to the shock. It's quite like a baby breaking a hip. So sad for the poor old lady. I hope they are giving her medication to stop her worrying.
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Post by bixaorellana on Mar 7, 2017 16:35:42 GMT
The medication could be the problem. In certain people it can provoke anxiety instead of calm. Also, in people past 60 it can be so upsetting that it provokes delusions. That, combined with the confusion the elderly sometimes suffer when moved from familiar surroundings, could be affecting Kimby's poor mother-in-law. (and don't get me started on the fondness in the US for tying up old people to make life easier/less liable to being sued for the hospital or institution )
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Post by tod2 on Mar 7, 2017 17:18:08 GMT
Oh glory be! Surely we are past drugs that do the opposite!? The tying up/or...restraining technique, is practised here. My poor old grandmother kept scratching herself in places where faeces were and eventually my mother just cleaned up continuously. She could not bear to see he mother tied up. It's a no win situation I'm afraid.
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Post by Kimby on Mar 8, 2017 23:13:43 GMT
MIL has been moved to rehab now, in the same nursing home my FIL died in just 3 1/2 months ago. But she is NOT a happy camper. Thinks she's living in hell ("worse than hell!") and wishes she was dead. I hope her attitude improves soon...
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Post by Deleted on Mar 9, 2017 6:28:40 GMT
At least that will motivate her to do the physical therapy as well as possible to get out of there.
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Post by Kimby on Mar 16, 2017 20:35:12 GMT
Not sure if she's capable of being motivated. Her mood -and her pain - is so bad.
And we are afraid she may not be able to return to her apartment. Even assisted living may be too hard for her to manage.
Mr. Kimby thinks she may never leave the nursing home....
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