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Post by Deleted on Aug 17, 2010 20:22:18 GMT
I was looking at imec's avatar and thinking.... "Does this break every navigation rule in the book, or is it just my imagination?"
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Post by spindrift on Aug 18, 2010 15:51:56 GMT
Well, I'm back.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 18, 2010 17:45:01 GMT
I am thrilled.
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Post by bixaorellana on Aug 19, 2010 20:17:15 GMT
Hellooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Spindrift!
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Post by Kimby on Sept 7, 2010 7:01:32 GMT
While I stay with and help my aging parents for a week following my Dad's release from the hospital, I am posting on here daily in the middle of the night (the only slow time and I can't unwind), and also sending long dispatches to my sisters. I know I would want to be kept informed in minute detail, and I feel they deserve to hear all about it, too.
It would be easier to cut and paste from one to the other, but my online "voice" is different from how I talk to family....
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Post by Deleted on Sept 7, 2010 7:31:38 GMT
Yes, it's hard to 'recycle' certain information because we speak or write with a different tone depending on who will be reading it. So we just have to write it all over again with different adjectives and adverbs.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 22, 2010 17:33:23 GMT
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Post by onlymark on Sept 22, 2010 17:45:04 GMT
How on earth did I miss this thread? Brilliant stuff.
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Post by bixaorellana on Sept 22, 2010 18:46:49 GMT
Smug??!!! Weird. Neophyte or no, being publicly pronounced upon is not a nice feeling. A good side to smugness would the excuse to use the cool smiley: Of course, the truly smug must be above smilies. And surely smugness is better than fake innocence, that great flip-switcher of the passive-aggressive personality. Fun fake innocence is okay, though, and would allow one to use this nifty smiley: (uhhh -- switch-flipper?)
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Post by joanne28 on Sept 22, 2010 19:32:35 GMT
What an interesting thread - I wish I had stumbled on it earlier.
I think I'm more or less the same. The only difference would be the swearing and I suspect I have a slightly sharper edge IRL. I don't think I rein anything in but with age has come (some) wisdom and I have learned the futility of saying snarky things. However, I do indulge myself on occasion.
Kimby, a very good point about the differences in posts here and emails to friends and family. I am guilty of using the same email, but with specific tweaks for specific persons.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 22, 2010 23:07:37 GMT
Well,smug or passive aggressive,I'll take smug any day that's for sure. Posting spontaneously,at times,impulsively, has, in so many respects, been a burden and a boon. Many times,I have regretted posting this way,but,in real life, I have also regretted saying things that I wish I hadn't said. I just simply cannot,edit my thoughts that carefully,and as a result,yes,it is more sincere...but,oft times, too,at a price. But,I think, if everyone does that,a forum loses so much of it's synergy, particularly in boards/threads such as Free Trade Zone and Waterfront Park,where there is room for this type of posting,and impromptu banter as it were.I miss many posters who once were on here who engaged in this manner. There was a sense of camaraderie,even if people did grate on one another nerves,there was always room for discussion. Sometimes civilized,and gracious,and sometimes not. Rudeness and hostility,definitely, being unacceptable behaviors. If I really dislike someones online persona,I generally just stay away from them. I suspect it works the same for many as well. I certainly have gained some wisdom in this arena...And,most of all, I have learned that I cannot take things so damn seriously as I once did as a neophyte poster.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 23, 2010 7:56:27 GMT
Smileys were clearly invented by someone whose words were misinterpreted one too many times.
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Post by Jazz on Sept 23, 2010 14:58:04 GMT
As I said much earlier...Often I edit my thoughts carefully (because of prior disasters) and, often I write in my own voice. Almost nothing in between. A forum seems to be its own entity and too many ‘rules’ or limitations will cause it to lose its vitality and freshness. The Port is a gathering online of many members throughout the world, not only from extremely different cultures, but, we’re all individuals. I very much miss many posters who seem to have ‘shut down’…Baz, Fumobici, and Imec are just a few, and many others who post far less now. While the Port is not (and never will be) a ‘chat’ forum, relaxed banter is healthy and relaxing, not just in Free Trade and Waterfront. Sometimes its argumentative and that’s good as well, but blatant rudeness and hostility I can do without. No one wants to feel that they need to present a minor doctoral thesis with each post and dare not step out of line with diversions such as humor or wonderful silliness. Inhibiting. Each thread has its own life. I think the camaraderie of the Port is its most valuable and fragile asset. We all need room to breathe and you cannot legislate creativity and spontaneity. From my brief experience of 3 years, all forums seem to ebb and flow. My first forum was LonelyPlanet ThornTree. In 2007 it was a vital forum that went through a huge change. This was protested by many members, (who were ignored) and it never quite recovered. If you think its worth it, then it takes some extra effort to revive a faltering period, this effort needs to come from the members and the administrators.
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Post by Jazz on Sept 26, 2010 1:04:46 GMT
This is only a comment and I don’t quite know where to put it, so it will go here. I find the Port extremely unusual. If there is a controversial thread on the Port, members reply, or not. The unusual part is this: if there is a controversial thread here, the entire forum retreats and goes silent for days, if not weeks! On all other forums, people respond vigorously or ignore the specific thread, but carry on and post in all the other divisions of the forum. Why does this happen here? It really is unique.
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Post by Jazz on Sept 26, 2010 6:35:04 GMT
Given that there are no responses, I think that I am the only person that finds this unusual.
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Post by betsie on Sept 26, 2010 8:07:17 GMT
I haven't been here long enough to judge, but if that is the case, then I'm sorry to hear it. I do know forums where all disagreement is seen as conflict and the atmosphere is like a vicar's tea party, so I hope this isn't going to be one of them! ;D Do you fancy a having a fierce discussion with me?
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Post by Deleted on Sept 26, 2010 15:53:45 GMT
We,particularly the older members of this forum, could get into a whole analysis of what is,what was etc. etc.why this,and why that. The psychology of a forum ,or pathos as it may be,is like any other system where a group of people congregate,come and go,commune,don't commune. I fall into that mode at times as well.
The bottom line is,we are always going to be in some type of flux,like it or not. We need to go along with the changes,or, are in danger of getting stuck,and remain static.
This does not benefit the forum as a whole,as new members come aboard,other members leave, or post less,we all need to make the necessary adjustments.
I don't always like change personally,but,I do like posting on a forum and exchanging ideas,having an outlet to be creative.
Using the garden as a metaphor,the Port has gone through many seasons,sometimes it flourishes,other times,languishes. It will never be the same,and shouldn't.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 26, 2010 20:04:43 GMT
People come and go for all sorts of reasons. Sometimes they take a disliking to other members, sometimes they just burn out from having posted too much. Some feel insufficiently appreciated and others believe that they deserve special honors that are not awarded.
I have felt that way on all sorts of sites. As for those who have come and gone here, I know exactly where to find just about all of them, so it is not a problem. Most do not seem to have found satisfaction in their new location, but maybe they will be able to move on at a later date. I don't think I am on bad terms with anybody.
I have abandoned very few sites, so that is why I am wearing myself thin. I have been expelled from a few sites, but I have never deserted any site completely. So now I am spread over about 10 sites, some of which I visit only once a week or twice a month.
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Post by Kimby on Sept 27, 2010 3:53:42 GMT
Reading Jazz's #133 I wondered if she's imagining things, or if I'm too dense to notice things that are obvious to others.
I assume that others come and go as their real lives allow, and don't assume that a lack of posting means someone/everyone is offended or hurt or afraid of hurting/offending someone.
The seasonal analogy works real well, because a lot of traffic IS seasonal. Slower in summer because there's fun stuff and gardening to do outdoors, more posting in winter because the days are shorter and many of us are confined to quarters.
My posting frequency has as much to do with Mr. Kimby's schedule as my own.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 27, 2010 9:42:19 GMT
No,Kimby....Jazz is not imagining things, at all. Anyone on here with any frequency,and a keen observer, can clearly see to what she is referring to if they care to. The Port is very unique in the way to which she refers. Many,many times,threads and OP's on here have stirred up a myriad of emotions. A phenomena occurs and it is exactly what Jazz describes. Almost always, it is when some controversial topic is raised,whether it be political,social or otherwise. It seems that the anxiety level at those times is very,very high and posters do retreat,not just from the thread itself,but,from the whole board in general. I have seen it happen on numerous occasions. It is as though people are walking on egg shells,or there's an elephant in the room,that no one wants to deal with. No,it is not imaginary at all.....
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Post by betsie on Sept 27, 2010 10:03:02 GMT
That is strange indeed, Casimira, I mean, forums are meant for debate of controversial topics as well as socialising and lighthearted stuff. There must be a history to this phenomenon, maybe I should dig down into the old stuff to find out more. Is the bulk of the membership here from another forum where people were traumatised?
The only forum I know where people shy away from controversy is a forum for over 50s. Nice bunch of people, but too kissy-huggy for my taste and too many taboos. For example, if you call a spade a spade in a thread on dieting, where fatties are having fun talking about how they give up bread and potatoes but gorge on chocolate, or blame salt or low metabolism for their weight problems, you are accused of introducing 'unpleasantness' into the thread.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 27, 2010 10:20:18 GMT
It's a problem for some but not for others, and yes, betsie, a numer of the people here have been traumatized on other forums.
I think that a problem for some people is to not leave enough of a gap between their real selves and their online personas. When the two are too close together, it is too easy to get upset or hurt. I don't mind people attacking kerouac2 on certain forums, because kerouac2 is a virtual entity living at the end of my fingertips, not an actual part of me.
I don't want to go into agism, but I have also noticed that many of the older members appear to be much more fragile than the younger ones, and it's not always a question of the date on the birth certificate. Some of the people who behave the most 'adult' and spend a lot of time imparting their worldly wisdom are easily miffed by some of the more playful "younger spirited" people who refuse to take everything so seriously. I have seen more than one person stalk away in haughty indignation.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 27, 2010 10:36:25 GMT
While that may be true to some extent Kerouac,(and I have been one of those people you describe,although,maybe not quite to that extreme,I like to think anyway),there is a certain,sometimes subtle,sometimes overt,maneuvering,is the only word I can think of right now to describe it,to keep these things in check as it were.Call it damage control,whatever,it's there,and it's been utilized many many times. Sometimes it is done by burying the thread almost immediately,other times,it's done by trying to steer the thread in another direction. All manner of techniques have been used. The only thing can liken it to,is when I worked as a social worker and did family therapy. Often,very often,there would be a family secret that no one wanted to deal with. The attempts by all family members to not deal with it was a similar phenomena to what Jazz so aptly describes.
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Post by betsie on Sept 27, 2010 11:47:02 GMT
It's a problem for some but not for others, and yes, betsie, a numer of the people here have been traumatized on other forums. I think that a problem for some people is to not leave enough of a gap between their real selves and their online personas. When the two are too close together, it is too easy to get upset or hurt. I don't mind people attacking kerouac2 on certain forums, because kerouac2 is a virtual entity living at the end of my fingertips, not an actual part of me. That just doesn't wash with me. If a poster is not the same on a forum as in real life, it's still the same person, just a different aspect of him. Sure that happens, but what also happens is posters (young and old) frolicking in a serious thread, using it as a playground, which sometimes amounts to sabotage of the thread if there's enough of it in an early stage. That really gets up my nose. It's not so bad near the end of a long thread and the odd humorous aside in a serious thread is ok, but some posters have no respect and no sense of proportion.
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Post by onlymark on Sept 27, 2010 12:12:04 GMT
I tend to think, as regards the comments of Jazz, that in a forum where there aren't so many members who regularly contribute, and that many things are known about each other, any disagreement seems to become more personal - and what happens in real life? - when forceful disagreement occurs you get the odd one or two who step in to take sides or placate the antagonists, but most just step back from it.
They don't like the unpleasantness and go elsewhere, either to different threads or different forums for a while. But in a larger form like the Thorn Tree everything is more anonymous and people take more part in the disagreement in some way. They can more easily hide behind their anonymity on the computer. On another forum where there are perhaps 20 or so usual contributors there are only maybe two of them who have never met any of the others - hence when things get difficult it is more personal as you've met, broke bread etc together.
As for taking things seriously, there is a balance in all of us between doing so and not doing so. Some of us veer towards the serious end of the see saw, some to the other end. In a good mix of people on a forum the balance will stay acceptable to the vast majority but there will always be those who think it isn't serious enough and try to impart rules, regulations and a structure more rigidly. Conversely there are those who fail to see the import of some things and make unwelcome comments.
Older contributors, older in actual age than length of membership, as a stereotype, do tend to be less inclined to muck about - this happens in real life also, doesn't it? Younger obviously the opposite. Yet there are the blessed few, the unsung elite, the cream of the crop, those that are at the very top of the pyramid, those at the very peak of their powers and have a seemingly unlimited intelligence, who as they get physically older and have endured life's trial and tribulations, have drunken deeply from the cup of experience, to whom life holds now few surprises - these few take things less and less seriously as they age gracefully.
That'll be me then.
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Post by onlymark on Sept 27, 2010 12:31:00 GMT
and the odd humorous aside in a serious thread is ok, but some posters have no respect and no sense of proportion. You called?
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Post by betsie on Sept 27, 2010 13:11:34 GMT
What's wrong or unpleasant about forceful disagreement? I draw the line at abuse and nasty personal remarks which are entirely irrelevant to the debate.
On one forum I was on, another poster and I had a 10 page debate on the question of the American civil war and Southern culture, which we both felt passionate about. We gave it all had without a single word of abuse. Everybody else kept out of it, but it was voted as the best debate ever on the forum and we both thoroughly enjoyed sharpening each others' wits and pleading our own cases.
Education has gone badly wrong if most people are incapable of impersonal debate, and if a forum can't offer stimulating debate without taboos and vicars' tea parties on the one hand or abuse on the other, I usually drift off in search of something more suitable, or I give up forums for a while.
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Post by betsie on Sept 27, 2010 13:13:55 GMT
and the odd humorous aside in a serious thread is ok, but some posters have no respect and no sense of proportion. You called? Yeah, put the kettle on and make us a cuppa, will you? ;D OOPS, OFF TOPIC! ;D
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Post by Deleted on Sept 27, 2010 13:39:43 GMT
One of the topics on the board where this occurred curiously enough, was in a thread about the South,and Southern culture. I took great offense at some of the remarks that were made. In retrospect,I could have handled it better,but,at the time,felt that the tone was very hostile. I got very defensive,took it way too personally,and got into a snit about it. I chalked it up to ignorance when all was said and done.
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Post by betsie on Sept 27, 2010 14:21:37 GMT
I can see that cheap shots could have been taken in a thread on such a topic. I was lucky, my sparring partner was a historian and a very civilised man, and I did academic research on the Southern Agrarian movement, so the level of discussion was determined from the start and kept the abusers and insulters out of the debate.
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